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To be Held

No matter who I am,

or what I think I am,

how strong, how weak,

I need to be held.

Sometimes just that brief warm hug will do,

giving me that human touch from you

to know I am not alone.

Other times I need to be held in understanding,

just safe in your arms,

where I can hide away from the world;

the cares of the day put aside.

But most deeply I need to be held

in true, deep, total spiritual love.

Held in the love shared all the way to the soul,

holding the heart in peace.

This is the holding I seek so desperately,

because without it I am nothing.

It is not enough just to be held,

an empty heart can only supply empty arms,

whose flesh is warm but only leaving the heart,

the soul, cold and drained.

For I know deep inside what is real and what is not;

a fantasy mind created to hide the loneliness,

and hide the truth so the pain might ease.

Even the pleasures of sex grow quickly cold

when the arms have not love.

My spirit weeps bitterly in its anguish,

forced to submit to a false touch,

And all the flowery professed words of love

cannot hide the truth of a lie.

To be held in such a falseness of love

is worse than not to be held at all.

Love by only one can never make two whole,

It's like trying to clap with one hand.

The holding becomes a sadness,

something endured instead of a thing of joy.

And inside, the desire grows for your arms

that can end the growing longing;

Your arms whose soul,whose spirit,

whose wonderness of love matches my own. find your arms....

to feel them wrap around me...

to know shared love;

To know I am not only safe, but understood,

and loved fully for who I am.

Not a possession to be owned,

a body to be used,

an obligation to dead vows.

But held so close I become now,

forever, two souls merged into love as one.

Each holding the other with the same spirit,

the same total pure love for all time.

I know the longing is at an end

and I am to be held as I would hold.

My heart sings in joy,

my soul is at peace and angels' wings rustle softly.

Because YOU are holding ME in spirit,

in love,

and in understanding.

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