*~A Little about Me~*
I live in the city of Perth in Western Australia. I've lived here my whole life, and never been on holiday, so WA is pretty much all I know.
My name is Megan, I am 5'4" with dark brown hair and brown eyes, I was born on the 26th of the 1st 1990 (which makes me 14 this month) and I start year 9 this year. I have 2 siblings, Mark = 26 and Matthew =15.
VVV .I also have two dogs, this is Sally, she passed away at the begining of last year.
And this is Kellie when she was a puppie, she turned one in november last year.VVV
*WHAT IS THIS SITE ABOUT? AND WHY?*
Well, long story, and there is no short way to put it so here it is...
My whole life I have always been a loner, I havn't felt any need to depend on someone and being in my nature, probly never will. I never had any friends at school, and kept to myself, until year 4, when someone came to the school that I became friends with, this was the year I went downhill. Sarah was my friend, we hung out together, and told each other everything. Well when you are best friends with someone, you soon figure out who they really are, she was not what I would call a nice person, she made me feel fat, and uglier than I am, and made school even worse to go to.
My hair started falling out.
I couldn't get out of bed to go to school, I didn't feel like I had the power to. Then came the days when I would cry and actually BE ill, I still dont know how I got sick all the time, and I was skipping heaps of school, until the end of year 5 when Sarah left my primary school.
My hair started growing back and started to get shiney again, I stopped getting sick every second week.
I thought I was going back to normal.
but I never fully got better, the way she made me feel still stayed there, I still felt ugly and I
still felt hopeless, I still.felt.fat.
I started to get fat,
I hadn't realised it but each passing year I was digging a deep hole of depression.
Year 6 came along and I met another Sarah, then I met her friend Stephanie, and in 2002 we all met Hilary, we matched each other, they were the only people I felt I could be me with. They were like family.
Last year (2003) I lost my beloved dog, she got gangreen on her tongue, too much to remove and she had to be put down, then my nanna got dementure and had to go in a home. My friends were the only people I could talk to when I needed them.
Then one day, mid year, they stopped being my friends, I still dont know why. All this in 6 months made me break. I couldn't handle it anymore and I fell into deep depression and started crying uncontrolably at school for no reason, then I started to skip school, days at a time. Then I got a phone call from the school, asking what was wrong with me coz I hadn't been turning up, mum told them about the break up.
Anyway, over about 5 weeks we had huge discussions and it was decided that I had to go to the doctors to try and help me coz they needed something to go by to tell the education department. So I got a blood test, and the results made everything worse. I found out something that had nothing to do with my depression, I found out I had something called polycystic ovaries syndrome (P.C.O.S.), this meant I wasn't able to have children, and that I have a high chance of getting diabeties and cancer when I'm older. this is such a rare thing for a 25 year old to get, let alone a 13 year old.
This was the last straw, I left school and I start in a few weeks. I started SH "self harm" cutting myself with a razor blade, I kept this in secret. And after a while my mum found out. I said I had stopped to her, but the truth was I had moved my cutting to my thigh where it could be covered easily. Then one day, I moved to my wrists, I was just about to slit my wrists, I had the blade on my skin ready to drag it along, when a song came on the radio, and I stopped in my tracks, and this is when I knew, I had to stop.
Anyway, that brings me to what this site is about..
"SI or SH" self injury or self harm, I decided to make this site to help people that are addicted to cutting, if I can stop, you can too!
Why?: Well cutting yourself just numbs emotional pain,
it doesnt take away the pain totally, in the long run, STOPING IS BETTER.
