Now Playing: Bobby Gaylor
Ok well the song is about what it says. It helps cheer me up in times of my need... like now I want to talk to her so bad and tell her why I kept on talking to her. Even when she said to stop. Well I guess I just can put the reason down here and maybe sometime when she checks this she can read it. But I doubt she'll ever check this or read it for that matter. Ummm well anyways my reason for annoying the hell out of her is the fact is I was affraid. I was affraid of losing her to someone else. After seeing her flirt with derek on Ravematch, and then I heard from her friend that they dated before but never met. So yeah... Chrystal if you can read this that is why. I was affraid of losing you to him. But then later I've heard and read. That they're just friends. Well now that I've screwed up this relationship that felt so right and so good to be with her. I miss her So Very MUCH! And I still love her it hurts. My mind is a cell of tourment, not being able to talk to her is driving me crazy I just might kill myself. And thus makes the song Insufficient to stop me.

Lyrics for the song I'm listening to can be found here http://www.bobbygaylor.com/ click on the picture and then lyrics to your right.

Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Puddle of Mudd "Drift and Die"
OK well so Lisa text messages me. So the one time I text back to her. I don't know her number. So I thought she was with Chrystal. Wrong! So anyways I'm like stressing about that. But tonight I'm going to start working out to get in shape. Still haven't ate anything good... so I don't know what might happen to me. I don't know what else to do I've lost my appetite to eat anything really since this has happened. I'm down to four hours of sleep a night if that. I'll probably just kill over sometime the way I'm running myself ragged thinking about her and I can't stop. I wish she'd come back to me because she means so much to me. I love her, I've never felt this way about someone before... in the longest time! I mean I'd rather die then not be with her... *sigh* Tough love....

Mood:  down
Now Playing: Hawthorne Hieghts "Ohio is for lovers"
Well I know that I shouldn't be pushing my luck but I need to write things down... vent in other words about how I feel.
I can sleep, eat or much of anything since she left me. But anyways... I so love her and when she said that she needed her space just crushed me. And then I know she's a flirt but seeing her flirt with so many people on Ravematch. That just threw me through a loop of constant worry that I may lose her. I did not want to think about it, but the idea always came. Now she hates me or mad at me whatever you'd like to call it. And it's killing me, right now it feels as if my chest has his big pressure build up.

But I have never had someone look at me like the way she did, and I'd do just about anything for her. I would have let her go and have fun, I was affraid of losing her to someone else. My interjectional assertions on the fourms went down in ruins. She finds that pathetic, but what can I say. When I'm upset I never think with a 'Straight line of thought'.
I told her to block me until she's ready to talk to again... but now she has and I've stopped talking to her. I'm slowly starting to stop talking about her with our friends.
I love her with all my heart and soul. I just hope she finds it in her heart to take me back after what all we've said and done.

Maybe someday if and when she checks this... she'll see but as for now. Writting on here I don't have to worry about people getting annoyed.

A funny little fact... when I drove her down to TN to meet up with people. Well the van we took, well it's more scary than funny. But anyways, we were driving with out any antifreeze or oil. Scary huh?
It broke down on my brother the day of I returned it to him (like 2am).
All I have to say is that she is Heaven sent...