Chained down by guilt

I want to be free,
But my thoughts haunt me,
I'm losing track,
Time needs to go back,
I need to remember,
Times before last December,
To remember what I love,
What I always put above,
My guilt ties me down,
Plastered with a permanent frown,
I've done many things I regret,
Each time you'd just forget,
I'd apologize a million times over,
Even wish on a four-leaf clover,
If only I could fix everything,
And lose the guilty sting,
A normal apology isn't enough,
To make up for all the stupid stuff,
Every argument we had,
Every time I made you sad,
And even though I tried not to,
I took advantage of you,
Somewhere I thought you'd always forgive me,
And we'd go back to the way things used to be,
I won't let that happen again,
Never again shall I hear "gomen",
Never again shall I cause you pain,
And forever more I'll have my chain,
To remind me of all I've done,
And of how I used to have fun,
I'll still have the scars from emotions, memories, and skin I tore,
The difference is.. you won't be there anymore...