Welcome everybody! In fact, I’ve created this humble blog just as a simple honest way to express my thanks to a great person who touched my life in different ways. In order to tell her how grateful I am for everything she did for my sake when I was too young.
Since I was only two years when I was beside her and of course wasn’t able to express my emotions toward her, it’s time now to tell her how much I love her and let all special people around me and people all over the world know this wonderful person who blew her unlimited love and kindness to my soul and created big part of my personality!
Debbie, is my life most beautiful gift; she’s the angel who used to take care of me when I was in my first months till two years old in Pittsburgh, U.S.A. At that time my father was studying for his doctorate and mom was taking English course, so I used to stay with Debbie in her apartment for the whole day with other sweet children. Although she took care of lots of children, I was unique and special ;) Right Debbie?! Anyway, to cut it short Debbie during this period made a large file for me holds the title (THIS IS THE STORY OF GHADA). In this file or book you can find lots of breathtaking things such as, a sample of my tiny diaper which I use when I was three months old, my bib, nipple, foot & handprints, pictures, greeting cards, my first birthday balloons, blowers and cap, brands of my favorite biscuits and toys, lots of details about my first smile, word, step, tooth, holding bottle and sitting up, notes on my progress and diary. After the two most beautiful years I spent among Debbie and her wonderful family that every one of them was a friend of mine, it was time to get back to Riyadh holding in my subconscious mind special memories, feelings and deep sorrow for the farewell. On the other hand, holding a treasure which is the file that almost describes every single moment in addition, the love that Debbie blew inside of me.
Days, weeks, months and years flew away as I grown up with a feelling that I’m missing something, but I don’t know what is it exactly. By December 2002, a miracle happened; while I was in the car getting back from college, the file came to my mind after about 20 years from our departure. I asked mom about it as she was keeping it in a special place. I started opening the file and reading every single word with tears rolling down my cheeks. At the end of the file I found a letter that says:
“ Dear Ghada, This book is only bits and pieces of time we spent together. I could never put all the memories in my mind down on paper or the joy you gave to us. We really love you and we always will. Always remember and know that even in a far away place from you that someone else shared part of your life and that they will love you and always want to see you again. You are a very special person and you already have qualities that will take through your life. You are gentle and sweet and you have a great sense of humor, you’re as devilish as you can be (loves to tease) you are very smart and pick things up quickly. Always be happy. We will always think about you and wonder how you have grown and what you’re doing. If we lose touch some how, please try to find us and get in touch so we can see our baby Ghada all grown up. We love you and always hope to see you again, love always, Mark + Debbie” After reading this letter I wept like a child and felt guilty for not remembering this book earlier. I also found two addresses and phone numbers one is hers and the other her moms. I dialed her number and someone told me that she has moved to a different place and gave me her new number. Anyway, Debbie answered “merry Christmas” she said. Her voice was familiar to me so my heart started beating so fast. “May I speak to Debbie…this is Ghada” I said, just to make sure that she’s the one. Actually, I didn’t have to say much; by saying Ghada she started crying like a mother lost her child long time ago and it was time to gather since she was praying all the time for this moment. I felt like I was reborn… her voice was moving in my vessels and touching my soul. I felt I’m the happiest person on earth and I’ve held the world by one hand at this moment. She told me how she was thinking of me all the time and praying for me, and how my pictures are hanged everywhere in her house. We discussed different topics and asked several questions and I didn’t want to end the conversation; wanted to be continuous forever. By time, we discovered we have things in common like painting, horseback riding, playing guitar, nature love, dealing with handicapped people, some personality traits…etc
One of Debbie’s touching letters:
“Ghada, Hi! It's debbie I finally got to write to you. I thank you so much for sharing your deep inter feelings about yourself. I have so much the same as you inside. I love your paintings as they share what is going on inside of you. I felt so much of me missing when you left at 2 yrs old. You took a lot of me with you. I felt so much healing when you called me last Christmas. I was so happy to just know you were alive! I prayed God would let me know you had a good life and were safe so far away from me. I had a hole inside for you filled with love just as I felt you were my child too. I hurt so much knowing you may never know that someone far away loved you so much that I wanted you for me forever. I finally feel God gave me that gift as we will have eternity together in heaven! I am so glad we get to tell each other the effect we had on each other even though you were so young. I feel I have a small understanding of how happy God must feel when one of his children come to him after feeling they have been seeking for him and found him! I feel the angels all rejoiced when we found each other! I keep all your letters and pictures. I keep you with me every day in my heart. I can close my eyes and see us riding horses together in a beautiful meadow, I see us sitting under a tree holding hands and talking for hours I always give you the biggest hug and finally look into your eyes and tell you how much you have been missed and how much I love you. I am so glad we both know each other and we are connected forever! I hope you can feel you see God, and me and my family in the darkness you feel you are in at times. I hope it makes a difference that there is a world of love here for you. I hope you can feel we are there with you. Keep painting and discovering what makes you, You. You are very special and you came to change this world, and you already have! Keep up the good work. Don’t forget to take care of you. Remember we need you! Love you,
Debbie or (Momma)as you use to call me. God Bless You.”
When I asked Margie (Debbie’s mother)to talk about Debbie she said: “When Mama Debbie took care of you she lived in Bloomfield on the 2nd floor. She fed you your milk and would rock you to sleep.. She used to make baby food for you with a food processor. She would make fresh food everyday for you. She would make sure you got all your vegetables and protein along with your milk. She would feed you and try to make sure you knew how to get food for yourself so that when you would be taken away from her that you could take some care of yourself. She knew that you had a good mom and dad but it was just a matter of a mother's protection on separation from her baby. She would bath you everyday sometime two times a day and gave you so much love and hugs and kisses that it is a wonder that she didn't kiss your skin off !! You were her baby girl. She would fix your hair and dress you fancy and take you everywhere she went. She was very proud of you. She would take you to the playground near her house. She would walk and take you in a stroller about 2 miles to the playground quite often. She also had a dog and a bird that you used to play with and a squirrel in the backyard that you used to feed peanut butter sandwiches to. The squirrel was very tame and looked for you and the sandwiches everyday. You named him " Peanutty". Mama Debbie used to do crafts with you and taught you how to draw and how to make things from clay and paint. She would bring you over to my place and we would play with you and sometimes put a little tub on my dinning room table and give you a bath just to see you play and splash in the water. On holidays you would be here with the rest of the family for our celebrations and would get gifts from everybody as you were considered one of our family. We would have a feast and you would eat everything! You were so adorable. You were part of this big family. We took lots of pictures, most of which you have copies of in your baby book.”
To Be Continued….
* Hope this summary convey even 5% of love she gave me and show her how much I love her in return that I want people all over the world feel it with me. Thank you Debbie from the bottom of my heart… I promise to let you be proud of me all years through insha’allah “God willing”.
