*************************Kevin Henner recently said of his newly formed cult, "It's no People's Temple, but I guess you've got to start somewhere." What can I say about this. In the five minutes prior to reading his statement, I laughed, I cried, I was confused. My initial reaction was, "Oh that's awful," the kind of reaction you have to jokes about Michael Jackson raping little boys. Conan said awhile ago that Michael Jackson was starting a line of men's suits. "If that line goes well, he'll get into boy's pants." It was funny. But think about it. Conan O'Brian was making a joke about how a privilaged (and obviously sick) man raped young boys. Imagine how horribly scarred that poor boy would be? That's a terrible thing to laugh about. Imagine if I set an adorable little puppy down next to you, pulled out a shotgun and splatered it's brains all over your new shoes. Then I cackled hysterically and said "LAUGH JACKASS, I JUST SHOT A PUPPY." It's a horrible thing to think about. I'm sure Falyn just gave herself an ulcer, twitching uncontrollably and muttering about animal cruelty. But that is the truth of everything, every cruel joke, every profound justification. How can you be so convinced that there is no God, no life after death, and then so mordant and uncaring about death itself? If this is all there is, than why don't you value it more? Why do you make so many witty jokes, so many callous remarks, so many snide observations about the meaningless of life? Why don't you die? If it is all just a game, and if people and things are so simple, why do you give a damn? Knowing that this is it, and that this is the most you will ever have, how can you openly mock death? The pictures from that morgue in the Philipines are not funny, or ironic or smart or anything. They are death. What everyone will be at the end. I may sound like I'm going insane, and that I have reached a breaking point, but that is because I am, and I have. To live and believe, in all truth, PLUR. Because that really is everything. Peace, love, unity, respect. And I can't see how drooling over decapitated people and laughing at human desperation and misery fit into that. *************************** I have another rant. One that is mainly directed at Fayln. Popularity. Fayln, you are an individual. I have never met anyone just like you. That may or may not be a good thing, but you have nothing to worry about. But honestly, on the way to the Warped Tour, when you, Kat, and I were sitting on BART, and you said you didn't like Converses because they were too popular, I just about vomited on your dropkick murphys hoodie. I will only tell you this once: It makes you more of a poser to say that then to actually wear chucks. If you like something, you should go for it, wear it or do it or say it, whatever it is. But to decide what you do based of what other people are doing or thinking is what being a poser is. I know, I am using the dreaded word. Let me define it: to be a poser is not to listen to avril, or to dress "punk" but really love Michelle Branch. It's to do what you wouldn't do alone. If everyone in the world but you died tomorrow, and you changed everything about you, then you were a poser. If you change things about yourself because of other people, than you are a poser. I'm not stupid. I am a poser. In theory if I was alone forever I would sleep all day and wear my pj's all the time. But I do things differently around other people. Usually I'm to distractable to follow through with these things, but I do it. And there's nothing wrong with that. But (and this is truely to Falyn) you do not need to do things differntly to be differnt. You ARE different. So don't think so hard.
Things that make my life so very asinine.
Kevin Henner scares me because he is so sincere in his hopes of twisting the decency of human spirit and soul.
What happens when Falyn decides to devote her time to more than just Sananab and cleaning up dog shit.
Nina's pagina. No, it's not a new trendy orifice, it's just the word "page" in Spanish.
Because God told me that there was more to life than sex, drugs, and rock and roll. There's education, and that's more important than any of those things, even if it's not as fun. Blow won't get you a job and family, but knowledge will. Well, at most blow will get you a couple of illegitmate kids, but that's really not the message God was trying to send.
