PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN

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8:15

Wake up to hugs and kisses.

8:30

Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday

8:45

Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants

9:15

Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil

10:00

Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.

10:30

Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.

12:00

Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.

12:45

Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.

1:00

Shopping with friends.

3:00

Nap.

4:00

A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.

4:15

Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.

5:30

Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.

7:30

Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.

10:00

Hot shower. Alone.

10:30

Make love.

11:00

Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling

11:15

Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.

A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN

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6:00

Alarm.

6:15

Blowjob.

6:30

Massive dump while reading the sports section.

7:00

Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.

7:30

Limo arrives.

7:45

Bloody Mary in route to airport

8:15

Private jet to Augusta Georgia.

9:30

Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.

9:45

Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.

11:30

Blowjob

11:45

Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.

12:15

Blowjob.

12:30

Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.

2:15

Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.

2:20

Blowjob

2:30

Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.

3:15

Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.

4:15

Blowjob

4:30

Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.

5:00

Jet back home. In route, get massage from naked supermodel.

7:00

Watch Sportscenter.

7:30

Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon,20oz. New York strip.

9:00

Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.

10:00

Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.

11:00

Massage and Jacuzzi.

11:45 Go to bed.

11:46 One last blowjob

11:59 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart. Watch the dog leave the room.

12:00 Laugh yourself to sleep.