It is not enough to win, but to see ur enemies fail.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So smack me around and push me down and show me that you like me.

Unless you see what I see through my eyes, unless you feeling what I am feeling inside, unless you taking the footsteps I have taken, dont even dare attempt hating who I am

*~ThOse Who ReaLly LovE yoU, doNt mEan To hUrt You And If tHey Do tHey Can See It iN yoUr eYes And It hUrtS thEm tOo~*

ThE MorE FriendZ U GoT, ThE MorE ProblemZ U SeE, CuZ Every1ThatS A ParT Of uR LifE TalkS WheN YoU CanT SeE!!

Don't treat a person as a priority, when they in turn treat u as an option.

Sometimes ur the windshield, sometimes ur the bug.

A Teen Girl’s Prayer
Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, bitched, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my parent’s credit card. However, I will be getting out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.

Too often, we lose sight of life’s simple pleasures. Remember, when someone pisses you off it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, but only 4 muscles to lift your arm and bitch-slap the motherfucker upside the head.

Do I look like a grocery item, because I see you checking me out.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

“Very funny Scottie, now beam down my clothes.”

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

Everyone is allowed to be stupid, but you’re abusing the privilege.

4 out of 5 voices in my head tell you to keep on dreaming.

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because...well, ok, hate me because I’m beautiful.

You see, you like, you try, you fail. Meanwhile, I see, I like, I want, I get

All good boys and girls go to heaven, that’s why I wasn’t invited.

I’m so cool I make ice jealous...
I’m so hot fire don’t stand a chance.

Did you fall off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down?

Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me.

A bitch is a dog. A dog barks. Bark is part of a tree. A tree is part of nature. Nature’s beautiful, thanks for the compliment.

I wasn’t kissing him, I was telling his lips a secret.

So often we lose sight of the actions we love, but when you turn around and bitch-slap someone, you learn never to lose that love again.

When you wanna be naughty...go to your room...When I wanna be naughty...come to mine.

Famous Last Words-
-I can fly!
-These pills are awfully small, I think I’ll take a couple more.
-Gee, that’s a cute tattoo
-What does this button do?
-So, you’re a cannibal.
-Which wire was I supposed to cut?
-I wonder where the mother bear is.
-I’ve seen this done on tv.
-These are the good kind of mushrooms...
-This doesn’t taste right.
-I can make this light before it changes.
-I can do that with my eyes closed.
-Look ma! No hands!
-Let’s split up, we’ll cover more ground.
-Oops.
-Don’t worry, it’s not contagious.
-I’ll be right back.
-I’m sure this isn’t the poisonous kind.
-Hey! What the hell?!?
-No, this tribe is peaceful.
-No, I’m sure they cleaned out this mine field years ago.
-Safety harness?
-What green card?
-Don’t move, you’ll trip the sensors.
-Stupid safety labels...
-No, no these are safe, I’ve seen birds eat them all the time.
-”Dammit Lizzie, get off your fat lazy ass and cut me some firewood!”- Mr. Borden
-”How’s he going to read that magazine all rolled up like that?”-insect
-”And now that I’m running my life support system through Windows 95, I’ll never have to worry about---beeeeeeeeep....”

A pretty girl can kiss a guy. A bird can kiss a butterfly. The rising son can kiss the grass, and you, my friend, can kiss my ass.

How many hott, rich, funny, sweet guys are there out there?
Two, but they’re dating each other.

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

High heels are a device invented by a women who was tired of being kissed on the forehead.

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.

God made Adam before Eve because He knows you always make a rough draft first.

Any women who think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is aiming a little too high.

I’d probably get married if I could find a man with 15 million dollars, who would sign over half to me, and promise to be dead within a year.

Coffee, chocolate, men. Some things are better rich.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Hershey factories make millions of kisses a day, but I’m asking for only one.

Last night I was looking at the stars and was wondering where the hell is my ceiling!?!

I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...then I realized that suicide’s a crime.

I’m an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight.