Friday July 25th, 2003 12:39am (still my Thursday night...) I guess the trouble with being a free spirit is that eventually you hit a brick wall, and then your whole world just comes crashing down around you, lol. Fun week. Tuesday I went downtown with Katie, Caitlin and Jaimie for a concert thingee at the Kathedral on Queen St. It was a pretty awesome exoerience, all in all, and despite the fact that I contemplated running away from it all MANY times I'm glad I didn't. Plus I got some "Reggie and the Full Effect" and "The Ataris" stickers so it couldn't have been *that* bad... ;) Wednesday I woke up on the couch at Jaimie's downtown house. I had left my contacts in and my messy hair was still in braids from the night before. I looked half-decent, which was nice, but then I realized I didn't have anything to wear as the limited stuff I had brought with me was either dirty or weird from the concert the night before or unsuitable for the weather. Meh. I threw on some shorts and a shirt and Katie, Caitlin, Jaimie, Georgia (Jaimie's sister) and Jaimie's friend (forgot her name...) and I began the LONG trek from the greek area on the Danforth to Queen St. On the way we saw some awesome little shops, Katie met up with her sister Beth and got her wallet back and we were given free slushies from a lady who worked at 102.1 The Edge. An adventure that made the long walk worthwhile. After getting home and showering, I hung out all day doing nothing memorable. At one point I looked in the mirror and was generally pleased with my appearance, which was a rare and rather pleasant feeling. Jeff, Ian, and Wes stopped by and picked me up out of the blue and one of the best nights of my life began. We played in parks (on the swings, in the sand, ran around, played tag like little kids, and even battled it out American-Gladiator style on the soccer goals...), climbed onto the roof of McDonalds and scaled to the top of the portable at BA (I even scraped my arm on the shingles getting up there, which made the experience ten times cooler, lol) and just generally fooled around. No one else seems to have noticed, but I am positive there was something different about us all that night. So despite my distance lately, I just want you all to know that I truly love you. You guys mean the fucking world to me and I'm glad to have been blessed with the chance to meet you all. Thanks for knowing me better than I know myself, and holding me back when I'm about to make a huge mistake. It still boggles me how you can know all my faults and love me anywayz... Especially when I have such a hard time loving myself. you know you love me... it's the first warning sign of insanity :p Catherine Saturday July 19th, 2003 6:38pm at my cottage Lalalala I am ON THE INTERNET AT MY COTTAGE! The one place that is supposed to bring me closer to nature, strengthen the bonds between myself and my family, and disconnect me from almost all technology (namely, the internet). BUT I HAVE MANAGED TO ESCAPE ITS IRON-FISTED OPPRESSION! MWAHAHAHAHA! I really need a hobby or some sort of pastime... Well yeah! So far today I have watched 3 movies ("Miss Congeniality", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" and "The Incredible Ride" - a movie featuring Dr. Rabbit al about brushing your teeth and how "toothpaste with floride helps to fight decay!"), almost finished re-reading "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants", fell asleep sun-tanning on my dock (this time I actually used sunscreen too (not Baby Oil like last time... *painful memories*...) it may only have been SPF4, but I'm making progress!) and hunted for the huge box of crayons we had up here last summer. Apparently my crayons are gone, and with them all hope of melting them into wacky-fun, multi-coloured crayons shaped like hearts and motorcycles and such. Thats ok though because I have a bunch of books to read, as well as a tupperwear box full of markers and some paper. I plan on making tacky homemade stationary and then writing letters to all my friends. Maybe. As I was walking down to the dock for tanning session numero DOS (2) today, I started thinking about my old diaries. In my mind I was narrating what I'd write if I had been writing in my diary at the time. Kind of like when something is happening in a movie, but you hear someone reading a letter or narrating their thoughts as the action is happening. When I get home, I'm going to start a diary again. I miss the refreshing feeling of unrestricted, uncontrolled emotional release. Anywayz, no one is online for me to talk to at the moment, and I feel very bored. I thought the internet would entertain me, but I feel even more alone and bored than I did when I first connected. Ok, maybe that's exaggerating, but the point is, I'm still bored. So I'm off to get started on those penpal letters! you know you love me... maybe too much? Catherine Thursday July 17th, 2003 12:15am (still my Wednesday night...) Oh Man! The last two days have been *stellar*! Monday! I was supposed to go downtown with Adam, but due to me screwing up the minor plans we had made, and the fact that I had to be back home earlier than anticipated, everything was de-railed. Instead, Lefouzzle and I went to Value Village (I'm starting to love that place...) for some shopping. We thought it would be the first time any of us had made it there without missing a bus, getting on the wrong one, or getting lost... but then we realized that the bus we were on wasn't the route 90 after all, and we ahd gotten on the wrong one. It wasn't *too* bad though, we only ended up about 3 blocks north (and about 20min after) where we would have been had we gotten on the right bus. Once three, we tried on some ugly dresses and tacky bright orange shirts (a kimono with boobie tassles...?) matched with black poofy skirts before setting on 2 sets of pillow cases (for DIY skirts) and 2 pairs of pants for moi. Total cost = about $15. Pas pire! We then headed over to Licks for some cookies and cream milkshakes. That server guy was so nice! We also talked about the restaurant's layout, what we would change if we owned the place, and the advantages and disadvantages of making your staff dress up in wacky retro costumes and order things in weird made-up language. Tuesday! I TOUCHED A CLOUD! Ok so after rehearsal tonight (line run-through and blocking of the first few scenes), Wes picked me up and we scurried off to Morningside theatre for the 10:05pm show of "Finding Nemo". Amazingly funny + awesome animation + good plot + insults to the US = GREATEST MOVIE EVER! I never buy videos, but when this one comes out, I'm getting it :p "I swear, that snail was about to charge!" THEN, as we were approching the door, we could see that it was MAD FOGGY outside. Walking to the car alone was an adventure, but then we had to actually get home... All in all, it was one of the best car rides ever! First of all, Foo Fighters' "All My Life", The Ataris's version of "The Boys of Summer" and a song I can't remember by Coldplay came on the radio, so the music made the ride *freaking awesome*. Next of all, WE WERE DRIVING THROUGH A FREAKING CLOUD! I mean, I opened the window, and I could reach out and touch a cloud! When I sang, I was singing into a cloud! And when I got out of the car, I was walking (and dancing) in the middle of a cloud! How hype is that?! Truly awesome :) Wednesday! Today Katie, Lefouzzle and I all ehaded downtown, thus completing out first trip ever without geting lost, missing a bus or getting on the wrong bus/subway. We boarded our first bus around 1:15pm, and arrived at the Eaton centre around 2:30ish. From there we walked down Queen street (westbound), stopping in a couple of shops along the way. One of the best stops by far was in FX where they had the most AWESOME retro toys and memerobilia. I ended up buying two cool metal mint things: one with Cheerbear (the Care Bear) on it, and the other with that bunny dude and it said mints for friend From there we headed to lunch at McDo's before checking out some designer stores, gothic shops and vintage boutiques. We also stopped by this awesome place called "Bang On" where you pick out a shirt and an iron-on-transfer and they magically stick 'em together in front of your very eyes! The three off us got TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES shirts. They are the coolest things since sliced bread, easily :p Anywayz, I just got back from watching the video of Tommy with Paul W and Katie and I am super tired. I never realized how sexy Dan B, Richard, Neil, Mike N, Paul W and almost everyone else really are... holy bejeebus! I also never knew Richard was older than Paul... So yeah, back to being super tired... I think I'm going to head to bed now... *yawn!* you know you love me... but sometimes I think it's only cause you know you don't have me... Catherine Monday July 14th, 2003 12:34am (still my Sunday night) Funny story today... So no one had a car and could give me a ride home from rehearsal today at Box Grove. I really could have called my cousin, but I felt like such a hassle (I slept over at my aunt and uncle's house last night so I could go to rehearsal instead of going up to the cottage with my parents). So after having some piza and chillaxing with those remaining, I grabbed my bag and started back. Paul accompanied. So for those of you who don't know, Box Grove is about a 2 hour walk to my place. But with Paul W. by my side, it was one of the greatest walks of my life. We talked about people we knew, stupid stuff, relationships, MYT, the show, university, the rain, people... It was alot of fun. But then it started raining really hard... and I had to go to the bathroom REALLY badly... and I was getting blisters from my flip flops so I took them off, only to step on broken glass and have to limp... So we got to Paul's house and I hugged him goodbye. It had started raining really hard and I was wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans and was carrying a huge knapsack (all the stuff I had brought over to my cousin's) as well as my purse thing and a sweater. (Hmm... I just realized... I HAD A SWEATER!!!!!!! grr...) Anywayz, so I see this really hot guy come running out of his garage into the rain. He pulls his rainjacket hood over his head, and I remember wishing I had a rainjacket, and envying him for his. He ran toward the parking lot, and I was trying to send him telapathic messages to offer me a ride. It must have been my lucky day (*cough*) because as he's running toward me, he says "Hey, want a ride?". JOY OF ALL JOYS! So I walk up to this van, he opens the side door and I see *gasp!* Jeff Kerlow. Ugh... Well I wasn't about to pass up a ride out of the rain, so I got in anwayz (against my will! ...ok that's a lie) It was alright, surprisingly. The guys were obviously dealers, but as long as they didn't try to rape me or offer me some drugs, I was fine with that (plus the driver was even hotter than the guy who had offered me a ride!). So he asked me about stuff... do I have a boyfriend, what was I doing all the way in Box Grove, did I walk all the way... do I dance and sing in this musical (usually a musical is people dancing, singing and acting... is this not common knowledge?!). Then he turns around to face me and asks if it's "erotic". I was *SO* tempted to say something like "No, but you should come see me at work on Fridays... now THAT'S erotica!" but I bit my tongue. This was Jeff Kerlow and his older, smoker friends! Hardly the place to flaunt... Even though they were *REALLY* sexy... *sighs* So they're now on my street, and I'm feeling like I've made it home without having to fork over any information or personal junk, when the guy in the front seat asks for my phone number. him: We're going to this big bash at this guy's house... give me your number, maybe you can join us next time we head over there or something... me: uhh... ok...? So he hands me his cell phone, and I think about what to do (I wasn't entirely keen on giving him my phone number, afraid he might actually call me). I didn't know how to use the alpha function (his phone was weird, and I am technologically challenged) so I type in 555, then give up. They're right at my house, so I hand the phone to Jeff, grab my junk and start getting out. Right as I'm leaving, the older guy driving says "Nice meeting you, gorgeous. Tell me, are all your friends as cute as you?" Ahhh boys! you know you love me... Catherine Saturday July 12th, 2003 1:22am(still my Friday night) ARGH and double ARGH Why the hell can't I just be happy? Is there something so incredibly disturbed in me that makes me incapable of enjoying life when everything is going my way? Why am I such a fucking screw up? And why does everyone seem to think I'm nice, beautiful, kind, or pretty? Am I that good at deceiving people? Some things more people should know about me when they first meet me: - I don't mean anything by anything - liking me = the stupidest idea ever - I do not make committments. Chances are I will bail out of any plans at the last minute for no reason whatsoever. Save yourself the trouble, don't bother trying to peg me down. ARGH. I'm sorry... I'm sorry... Catherine Thursday July 10th, 2003 12:34am (still my Wednesday night...) HAPPY BIRTHDAY IAN!!! You're one earth year older and you've now made about 19 trips around the sun! Oh, and you are legally able to drink and purchase alcohol... Today I worked for 10 hours. And I was actually working this time too, not fooling around. Well, ok I *did* get to talk on MSN for a bit too, but that was when I had finished all the billions of tasks I was assigned and there were no customers in the store to assist. The way I see it, I earned it. You try spending 6 hours hunched over a laptop typing numbers into a spreadsheet and stopping only to sort receipts by date and staple the X tape to the white copy, and the Y tape to the yellow copies... and then we'll talk business. So yeah, I actually just got back from Spectrum where Ian, Rachel, Claire, Scott, Paul F, Wes and I were playing pool (mostly everyone but me, I only played one game right before I had to go home...). Eww I smell like smoke... But yeah. Holy brown cow, it was the weirdest thing! Ian can drink now that he's 19 and all, but seeing him with a drink made him look... dfferent, somehow. Much older, which I don't understand. I mean, it's a freaking drink! Oh well. Memories of tonight: - that awesome pink pompom - the box with monkeys on it (HAHAHAHAHAHahahahahaha!) - the umbrella (hahahahahahaha!) - having to fight against Wes AND Ian to try to keep my Ataris CD playing... ("Why don't you like Ataris?" "THEY RHYMED 'GROWN UP' WITH 'GROWN UP'!") I'm finding cracks in its "flawless" paint job, and I fear that underneath is a crumbling piece of rubble... "if you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? and would you miss me when you get there?" You know you love me, but is it only because you don't want someone else to take your place? Catherine Tuesday July 8th, 2003 11:17am When I got home at about 12:15am last night my hair smelled like cigarettes, weed and sweat, parts of me were still drying off, and I had a slight ringing in my ears. I wasn't NEARLY as messed up as Ian, but I felt like a wreck. Greatest experience ever :) I learnt a couple of things at that Foo Fighters concert last night: 1. Just when you think it can't get any hotter, it does 2. Although extremely large people sweat a lot more than little or average-sized people, they provide awesome protection from crowd-surfers (especially for vertically-challenged people like yours truly :p) 3. You can't catch the little sparkly things that float around in the air 4. People are really cool. Even (or especially, rather) the ones you least expect to be. Memories of last night (other than the concert itself): - "If he had a paper bag on his head, I'd do him!" - "He's not *that* hot..." - JUSTIN! ("I just want to reach out and TOUCH it! Like petting a sheep...") and that girl wearing my shirt (grr...) - my plan to cut my hair super short and dye it black - Ian's car has ultra shag-wagon potential. Moreso than just about any other car I've seen. So I'm supposed to be going in to work today, but I managed to convince my dad that I won't be able to given the conflicts in time and the constraints of my other obligations. I'll just have to go in tomorrow instead... Grr... For now I think I'll get some more work done on my quiz, and try to figure out some more coding and junk... We'll see. Oh yeah and Ian can't drive :p Thanks again, Ian! you know you love me Catherine Sunday July 6th, 2003 10:07pm I'M HOME! And boy does it ever feel great... Things I missed most about Markham: - a shower large enough to be able to safely shave my legs in - my own bed (a water bed, no less :Þ) - my friends!!!! - being able to use the phone or internet whenever the mood strikes Things I now miss about Montreal: - SIMONS!!! (greatest shop ever!) - my cousins (I mean, they may be annoying but i sitll love them) But Oh it's good to be home! I'll update later tonight... you know you love me... mais pourquoi? Catherine Saturday July 5th, 2003 10:05pm Internet access at the cottage! I'm so blessed :) So yeah... 245$ spent at Simons (the store) yesterday. Man, oh man! If I could, I'd live in that store! They have row upon row upon row of awesome clothing, and the prices are pretty reasonable too! If i have kids when I grow up, I'm bringing them here on shopping expeditions ALL THE TIME. Well, as often as my paycheck will permit me to, anywayz... So yeah... at my cousins' cottage (north of Montreal?)... Their cottage is bigger than ours but they don't have access to the lake like ours does. We have to drive about 10-15min to a "clubhouse" thing with a beach and lifeguard on-duty when we want to go swimming. I'm not complaining though, I can check my email at night! Nothing can bring me down, baby! Think sunshine... THINK SUNSHINE! I think my dog has the right idea about this trip. He spends 90% of the time sleeping, and the rest he is either eating, or watching my cousin's and sighing. Oooooh...! "What good is melody, what good is music, if it ain't possessin' somethin' sweet!" Great song! But yeah, I better be off... I'll be home tomorrow night(ish)! (around 8, perhaps) "No we didn't light it but we tried to fight it" Hmmm... I think my mind's made up you know you love me, but how do you expect me to know so unless you tell me...? Catherine Thursday July 3rd, 2003 10:08pm After about 6 and a half hours of driving and a 1 hour or so stop for dinner in Kingston, I'm about ready to roll over and die. HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL! Ok, well it wasn't *that* bad... I mean, I got to listen to the Ataris CD Adam made me for most of the time, and the rest was spent sleeping (briefly), reading my Grd 12 Philosophy textbook ("Hooked on Philosophy: St. Thomas Aquinas made easy") and trying to keep my little cousins entertained ("Oh look, another field!" "Catherine, this game sucks..."). SavemeSavemeSaveme! Tomorrow will be better, hopefully. Shopping in downtown Montreal rocks, so it's bound to be fun. Well, I'm trying to remain optimistic about it anywayz. You know what's ten billion times more annoying than having to endure 8 hours of travel squashed in a car with 5 other relatives? Thinking you have everything figured out, and then sitting down and having everything you thought you had established blown out of the water. Like working forever to build an awesome little lego mansion, and then having someone step on it. On purpose? Who knows. The point is it happened and there's no going back. So what do you do? Start building again? Or re-think your blueprints? Grrr... someone help... So yeah, I'm stuck here in Quebec for the next couple of days (returning monday?). Aside from being rescued, there is one thing that I would LOVE (read: LOVE) my friends to do: EMAIL ME! Please, please, please! It gives me a reason to smile while I await the lovely thrills of retail-therapy at Simons. That said, I must be off as my cousin Simon is counting down from 15 for me to give him the computer back... you know you love me... Catherine |