Draco Malfoy ducked through the door that presented itself. Potter and his friends really should have known better than to do anything that could result in Slytherins finding out about the Room of Requirement. Now he just needed to wait it out. Shouldn't take too long. And the room was now comfortable enough that waiting wouldn't be an inconvenience. He had sprawled himself out on the long black leather sofa and debated what to do to pass the time.
A moment later the door to the room opened slowly. Draco knew the odds of someone else discovering the room, and they weren't good. His intruder finally slipped through the door and turned, revealing himself to be...
Himself?
"What the fuck?! Who are you? What are you doing here?"
"Oh, damnit. What time is it?"
Very conveniently, a nearby clock struck at that precise moment.
"Fuck! A turn too many... Now what am I going to do?"
"WHO ARE YOU?"
"I'M YOU! Come on, I'm smart enough I should have figured that out. I mean, we're smart enough you should have figured that out. I mean... Oh, you know what I mean."
"Do I, now? You can't be me! I'M me! What is the Hell is going on, here?"
"Timeturner. For reasons I can't discuss I had to use a timeturner. I needed to duck in somewhere for a minute and chose the same room I choose every time. This one. But apparently I turned it once too many times, and I'm too early. Since I'm just a future you we chose the exact same room. See, you should have figured it out. I'm smart enough to have figured it out..."
"So now I'm stuck in here with a future me who can't tell me what's going on?"
"Apparently. And I'm stuck in here with a past me who I can't tell anything."
"Well, what are we going to do? I'm not one to talk to myself."
”I'm not one to talk much at all."
"Exactly. So?"
"I don't know. What do I usually do when I'm bored?"
"Envision world peace?"
The two Dracos exchanged a look before breaking into very undignified snorts of laughter.
"Good one."
"Thanks. I try."
"I know."
"So... what do you want to do?"
"I don't know..."
"You know what I've always wondered?"
"Yes."
"Oh, right... So..."
"Sure, why not? Hopefully this isn't a chance I'll ever get again."
"Very true."
So Draco went to sit next to Draco on the sofa.
It was very strange, came two thoughts, to be attempting this with yourself. None of his usual ploys would work. How do you seduce yourself?
They looked at each other for a moment. Draco shrugged, and Draco answered with a shrug of his own.
Completely identical lips met in a tentative kiss. Very strange. The next kiss, however, was fierce. It was still strange, but now that the initial testing was over, Draco could get exactly what he wanted.
One Draco was pushed down on the sofa by another. Two robes were partially opened, then pushed up, and finally thrown aside.
The two groaned in perfect unison as their cocks aligned completely, perfectly, and without barriers. Two pale right hands reached for the cocks sliding against each other and started to pump at the perfect rhythm. It was still strange, and rather more clumsy now, but so much better than it was alone. It didn't take long at all. Even less time than it normally did. Everything was just so much more intense.
They lay there together, wondering how it could be awkward with yourself, when one of them realized he needed to go. He'd only intended to duck in for a minute, really. So they dressed, not really sure whose clothing they were actually putting on, although really it was all his, so it didn't really matter. And they wondered how to explain the hickeys they'd, technically, given themselves.
