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Characters Dick Clark Franco Francisco Charles De Gaulle Queen Elizabeth II Khrushchev ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (The Dating Game Theme) D: Welcome to the Dating game and I’m Chuck Wollery. She’s the first child of The Duke and Duchess of York, who loves long walks on the beach and traveling. Let’s welcome Queen Elizabeth II! (music) (Liz walks in) D: Welcome to the show. Where are you from again? E: (weird look on face like Dick is an idiot) I am from england…. D: Right, right….Are you ready to Play? E: If I must …(blasé) D: Ok Bachelors, its time to say hello to Elizabeth! Bachelor #1! C: (French accent) Hello…If you pick me I will get you a hat just like mine…Ah what a deal! (he he he) D: Bachelor Number 2? K: Ahh little cupcake…we can snuggle in the Siberian subzero together! D: Bachelor 3? F: If you pick me…We will dance flamenco until the sun rises… D: Alright Liz, why don’t you ask the first question? E: Right. Bachelor 3, I’m a political figure so naturally; I would like to know your basic ideals, regarding politics? F: My ideology comes from fascism. I am a simple man with a firm culture and most of my political and economic views are rooted to my humble beginnings in the military. I lead my country in the parameters that I am only responsible to God and History. I may sound aggressive but I only react when harmed or ignored. That horrible former government sent me to the Canary Islands for calling for the Army to re-establish the social order and look were it got them? OVERTHROWN (little chuckle). E: Very interesting…..Bachelor 2 …. K: (makes Buzzing sound) I’ll take Why the USSR is superior to the rest of the world for for 400 Alex D: What?! Bachelor two it’s not that kind of game. K: I’d like that to solve the puzzle? D: Not that game either! E: Bachelor number 2…. K: (interrupts) MARRY ME, MARRY ME (bangs shoe on floor) D: This isn’t the U.N. Bachelor 2! K: She must marry me; I always get what I want! I hate these programs, then again I like them, NO I HATE THEM! No wait…I dunno… C: Just like your policy with the west eh? K: Shut up and go fight Algeria or something Frenchie! D: Relax guys this isn’t a debate it’s a dating show. Go on Liz. E: Finally! Bachelor Number 2, I like a man who can stand his ground, explain to me why you are that man? K: Well being the opinionated and assertive soviet that I am…I have suppressed many uprisings against communism such as one in 1956 by Hungary. I also give criticism were criticism is due and have condemned my predecessor Stalin for committing mass murder and other crimes against the Soviet people. You may have heard of it, some refer to it as destalinization. E: Alright, this question is for all the bachelors, if you could take me on a date where would we go? D: Bachelor 1? C: Hat shopping definitely hat shopping. D:2? K: Ahhhhh (thoughtful look of face) My sweet, I would take you to a communist rally so you can be apart of the great Soviet Union! D: And 3? F: Since I am so fond of the military, we would have a brunch while watching weapons testing. Sounds good doesn’t it? E: (sarcastic) I can’t wait… D: Well it seems we are just about out of time! Liz have you made a decision? E: Dick you really haven’t given me much to work with. But…. (fight breaks out when she is about to pick) K: Hey why do your people ALWAYS change governments? C: Why do you people keep a horrible one? K: You have insulted mother Russia! Die! C: One step closer and you’ll find yourself with a mouth full of hat! E: Wait I haven’t picked… F: (interrupts) We should settle this on the battle field! K and C: Put a Taco in it Franco! F: I am from Spain NOT Mexico AHHH (F fake punches K) (improv fighting) D: Well thanks for watching The Dating Game….(shoe flies right by his head) and we’ll hopefully see you next time.. (cue music)
