i believe in you
i believe in the identity i am blessed with
i believe You know how i have fought hard
all my life every step of the way
there wasn't a single day in my life
i am unconscious of this inner battle
i have been my own warrior, fighting , choosing to fight
only to discover, i am my own enemy
i fought against myself
and tried not to be her
but above all, i believe
i acknowledge this choice to be mine
perhaps, my preference would be witnessed
as a weakness or a disease
but i have come to the conclusion,
i can no longer make this life livable
unless i come to terms with her
you know how hard i have fought
i know a few words to express them
my vocabulary is as limited as my knowledge of your identity
but i know you hear me when i pray
i know you grew with me every step
every inch of the way
i have hoped, i will not regret
this decision i have made
i tried and persevered - i lost
indeed defeat i must accept,
readily do so but will not come to a stage
where i must fight only to find
in the end to emerge as a winner,
is to end your precious gift life itself
everybody said people like me live in a closet
to a certain degree it's true, but not alone
i have you, i know that, i believe that
i never thought, i am alone in this fight
there was you, one who understands
the closet i am living in is not small
your forgiveness is imperative
for all the indulgences i partake in my future
should you fail to find in your faith to forgive me
then i fully understand
perhaps i have failed you,
indeed somehow you stopped
loving me the way i believed you
i hold myself to blame, i am the guilty one
if you cannot love me still, i won't hate you
i realised my decision has made me unworthy
of a love as almighty as yours
perhaps i am weak,
i would rather admit defeat than die
for dying would be an insult to you
i now admit to you,
myself and all the love on earth
i am a lesbian...
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