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July 2002 - October 2003
| Viernes
10 Octubre 2003 Holy H mother of Jesus, I thought I might be a bit ill, but I never thought it was that bad. Internal bleeding, amoebic dysentry and a bacterial infection so bad that me turds were composed of over 85% bacteria. A pile of submarine sized tablets of varying strength, a few days of rest and i feel a lot better. Last weekend we went to see a bridge made of straw. Sounds a bit dull. But it wasnt, i can tell ya. The last of a type of Inca bridge that used to be very common across south America. We ate potatoes from the highlands, swam in a freezin river, ate guinea pig, rode through mountains 4500m high... all cushty stuff. In the meantime I managed to buy a beautiful little 10 string Mandolin. It was so cheap and has such a rich sound, such a bargain. The guy that makes them also makes guitars of solid local wood and I'm considering buying one of those too. Next week the classes are shifting to the heart of the Sacred Valley, Urubamba. Much tranquility me feels and a good heavy dose of Inca and other ruins... aaahh... Do you ever wonder what happened to that old friend from years back. Well, this week I found out.. My first love got in touch. Turns out things have really changed for her in the last 11 or so years. What is she doing? well, she works in a UN peace envoy as a super duper intermediary, calming opposing partys of conflict around the world. funny eh?. Burp! |
| Tuesday
30 September 2003
Up here in Cusco the air is thin, the mountains are broad, the chill is nippy and the sky is crystal clear. From the Spanish school the vista is amazing. Nature is yet to be seen, and there is distinct lack of it, but the Inca walls, the churches, the history more than make up for that. Altitude sickness hit me bad in Chile and here is the same. I´m getting used to it slowly, pero no todavia no usado a la verbos reflexivos. The Quechua Indians, descendents of the Incas, are a friendly if a little too submissive lot. Their features are impressive and im looking forward to visiting some cushty touristy things and buying lots of ponchos Send news! |
| Wednesday
24 September 2003
Holy hot sticks and the Mother of Mary, Jesus H Christ the cousin of Jehovah.... Getting ready to leave Panama to Peru. I've been told to buckle up me braces in preparation for the cold... I'm more worried about the altitude sickness - last time I was that high I kept having to have a quick word with god on the great white telephone (or driving the porcelain truck if you're from down under) and I couldn't walk properly, although the low air pressure meant farts escape much easier. Will be sending news and views of Peru, Cusco and Machu Pichu as I settle in. ¡Qué suerte! |
| Sunday
15 September 2003 I have talked about the Castillo de San Lorenzo before here. It is in fact my favourite place in Panama, so that may have something to do with it.
Usually, I like to drive down to edge of the river (on the left here), swim across with waterproof box tied round my waist and walk the 2 mile long beach on the other side collecting shells and wood (to the right of picture). Then, swim back in time to catch the sunset up at the Fort and watch the fireflies flit through this incredibly magical place. So this time my plans were not to be scuppered. Elizibeth and Drude had never been before so I was their guide. I was actually quite scared since seeing a three metre crocodile in the river, but it turns out the crocodiles weren't going to be the problem. I couldn't persuade Eli to cross the river, so she sat on the bank reading - luckily for me and Drude. We set off and were finding it quite hard going, when really quite suddenly we were being washed out to sea! We tried fighting the current but there was no way we could make it. Even cutting sideways didn't work - we were both exhausted. I started to panic, Drude was already panicking. We decided to shout and wave, Eli heard us and commandeered a small fishing boat to race out to us. We were saved, and the first thing the guy asked us was were we from STRI..! he could just tell - two gringo types floating out to sea must be something to do with those mad scientists! Its Mango day today... eat a mango and be happy.... time fly's but passion lingers Cutting it fine |
Thursday 21 August 2003 More! Holy jesus, i couldn't get rid of that stupid banner, so all change here... its a mess I know. The above cake photo is courtesy of Microsnot - it comes with the web page template i've used. I chose it because of the cake and so will leave it there as long as i can... mmmm tasty.. bare with me...
I DOnt think im very good at all this. I dont have the patience to do it properly so I've decided to keep it messy. Ruth says it suits me. ta love!... |
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Wednesday 20 August 2003 Weird dreams last night. I dreamt it was 'Famous People on Eggs Day'. Every egg in Panama had to have a picture of a pop star, Telenovas star or politician printed on it. No idea why. But it was very important I remember that. Apparently, when I have stayed over at peoples houses, I have been talking in my sleep - nothing new there, i always do that - but now its in Spanish. Donna seemed to find this hilarious. To help these dreams become fluent and perhaps even understandable I have booked myself onto a four week Spanish course in Cusco in Peru. High in the Andes, near Machu Pichu I will be intensively speaking Spanish, living with a Peruvian midget family and their edible hamsters no doubt, wearing and eating wild Vecuña and playing the pan pipes for hours on end. I cant wait. McVitie's.... |
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Saturday 16 August 2003 Brown! The colour of chocolate, wood, soil and Idi Amin. I wouldn't recommend just anyone to read The Curious Incident of The Dog in the night time by Mark Haddon, but its a great book if you can stand it. Thanks to Damien and Marcus for that. Nearly died in a taxi t'uther night - it was a very close call. And then he threatened me when I tried to ask him to slow down. ¿tiene un problema? I remember once, when I first got to Panama, I got in a taxi with a really friendly driver. The friendly ones always try hard to get you into conversation and are always interested in where you're from and so on. This guy was chatting away to me and I couldn't understand a feckin word he was saying because he was going at it at ten to the dozen (ten to the dozen? ten to the dozen? jaysus, what does ten to the feckin dozen mean?... anyway,,, soz..), so I said 'más despacio, por favor' - slower please, and he misunderstood me and thought I was complaining about the speed of his driving, which was actually quite slow. With this he went straight for the brake and looked at me with a sincerely upset face as if to say, oh god, im soo sorry, i didnt mean to scare you! He was such a nice guy and was really relieved when I explained. Douglas: Hey Felly! did you pass the simulation test? |
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Friday 15 August 2003 There was an earthquake the other night which measured 5.7 on the Richter Scale. There was a rumbling noise that woke me first and then the shaking which lasted maybe 20 seconds followed by some frightening after shocks. I thought about running somewhere but then thought naa, i'll just stay in bed. A few buildings fell down but nobody was killed luckily. It was the biggest I had felt in Panama although not as big as the one in San Diego. That one felt huge and lasted for ages and the next day nobody mentioned it... I have been in Portobello the last four days for the scientific diving course. I am absolutely feckin' knacked! We did 15 dives including a night dive which was great. Working underwater really takes it out of you though. I did see some great marine life though. The highlight was two gorgeous Nudibranchs sat inside a Giant Barrel Sponge. I have yet been unable to identify them and didnt get a photo. Instead, I show you a picture of A Wind Dancer Nudibranch from Indonesia, photo courtesy of Phillip Slosberg. Have a look at the The Nudibranch Roundup for more beautiful pictures
The Arkan and the Arnon! |
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Wednesday 7 August 2003 Not much going on except last night I proved to myself that it was possible to go to sleep with a plate balanced on one finger over the edge of the bed. I went to sleep twice and the plate stayed but the third time I did one of those uncontrollable jerky body movements you do when you're slipping into deep sleep (especially on trains) and the plate came crashing down. It scared the livin' Mc Jesus' out of me as well... Its great having a life isn't it? ¡No tienen pesadillas! |
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Monday 5 August 2003 Welcome back! England was great - I want to say thanks to everyone who looked after me, came to see me, took me out to pubs, cinemas, bands and gardens, introduced me to new sights and new people, and generally kept me drunk for two weeks. Thats what made it, meeting up with all you eejits and realising that Im not alone... I wouldn't say that I found out that my heart lay in the fair land, but i did warm to it quite considerably. A two week holiday is exactly what it was and thats probably why it felt refreshing. Just like a holiday, I even had the runs getting used to the food, or, was it as a couple of friends have pointed out, something to do with the beer?? Coming back to a mouldy bed and an empty flat wasnt too great. Lots have people have left, including Martina, and I miss them all. But now im keeping busy. Today, for the diving course, I swam 400metres in 8 minutes, followed by 10 minutes treading water, the last five of which were without the use of arms and the last two while holding a set of weights above the water, followed by a 30 metre swim underwater with one breath. After all them fags and pints I couldnt believe i did it. Panama is refreshingly damp. The nosebleeds I got when first in England where a pain, and my excma skin thing came back, just in two weeks. Now its back to the weird bites around the feet, the big feck-off cockroaches, and the fungussy skin in all the places you want to know. As me mam pointed out, its all a big trade-off. she was drunk The most surprising thing I found about England was the smell. Its earthy, so earthy. here the smell is all air-bound, it's floral and mouldy, its rotten mangoes and fragrant pinky-russet bundle-joy cosy sweets.. if you know what I mean... A holiday would not be the same without some holiday snaps.. would it..
Thats it. After the diving course its back to the feckin microscope and get down to it. I have a hell of a lot of work to do in the next two months. What the hell happened that bunch of feckin eejits, the Labour Party, eh? remember spending years thinking how great it would be with them and not Thatcher? Back here the corruption continues. the latest involves the building of a ramp into the sea for no apparent reason other than giving some chiefs brothers company the work. Avenida Balboa will never look the same. ¡Las eejits del mundo, únase! |
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Tuesday 15th July 2003 The moon has dominated the last few days. I took a photo through my binoculars: Soz about the lack of posting on the eejit. Its been a mad time of working, doing the scientific diving course (which, incidentally currently involves practicing our scuba skills by cleaning out the salt water pool at the marine station!) and messing about in odd places. In the holy-jaysus-fantastic jungle on the way to fossil hunting at Fuerto San Lorenzo this weekend we found a freshly-dead three toed sloth and within two metres the whole clean skeleton of another - strange why they both died so close together yet at different times. I looked for electricity lines in the trees but there was none. Martina suggested that they were lovers and once one died the other could take it no longer while it mourned close to its lost partner. Maybe there is a picture in the tree above that is so shocking to sloths that when they see they instantly die .. mmm... I collected all the bones I could find for a reconstruction treat later, even the skull was there....
Then we came to a family of Howler monkeys playing in the trees... mothers with babies and adolescents...
The heliconias were all flowering and attracting some great insects. We watched a large hummingbird with a long decurved bill and long colourful tail flit between the flowers while butterflies fed..
And underneath a banana leaf.. a shield bug
We swam across the Rio Chagres and collected on the beach. Then we went up to the fort itself for a fantastic view of where we had just been...
and of course a sunset which was immediately followed by a moon rise behind us
Ten solid months of Panama and in a few days I'll be back in blighty. The Strettons have done it after a tremendous trip. I'm really looking forward to the whole thing, especially seeing all the people I have missed. I also want to see what England was all about and why I stayed there so long - whether I will like it. Will it be the same as coming back after a holiday - now that my home is in Panama? or will it be like a holiday itself where everything is new and different and exciting and then you have to leave after two weeks? The next post I will be able to tell you i hope! El Pavo Real, el Pavo y las tortugas P.S. if you want to stop all the banners popping up when you're reading this page just press the stop button on your browser when it has finished loading... eejits |
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Friday 4 July 2003 San Blas ... again... its a hard life! Went for a medical test yesterday for my diving examination. It was held at the Panama canal administration building because lots of diving goes on in the Canal apparently. All the obvious stuff was good fun, My eyes are perfect and my hearing wasnt great. I then went down town with martina to a dodgy wood-panelled medical centre to get my chest X-rayed. The place was a seedy weird place. The technician couldn't take his eyes off the telly, and when i went in the x-ray room itself, complete with 1950's X-ray machine, I noticed that in order to help relax the patients, he had framed a few tasteful soft porn photos. I looked at my x-ray and it looked to me like my collar bone was broken but he didnt seem to be interested. In fact I sat there waiting while he continued watching the soap opera. After a few minutes of me thinking I needed to hang around for something he turned to me and said 'Ya'... I could go.. I hit the street with Martina and it was a hot day. The sun was beating on a 12 o'clock drum (eh?) and the fumes lined the mucous of my nose. The men leered at Martina and the kids stared at both of us. We found a second hand shop full of 70's synthesizers and sunglasses, 80's stereos and unusually a whole selection of dope smoking pipes. Ruth, my good friend, has finally left back to the evil empire. Panama just wont be the same without her. Good luck love! Le gusta esto? |
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Monday 23 June 2003 Its been a wildlife time these last few days. First came the plants. the epiphytes are all flowering and the heliconids are growing a treat. Then I found a spiky caterpillar - dead in me kitchen. Ruth then called me to a baby boa constrictor that sleeps during the day wrapped around the bars of her house.. And then, last night, after seeing a really shite film with Steve Martin in about girls in the hood an B-boys, me and Martina got back to the front steps to find a huge tarantula waiting for us. It was dark and it wasnt moving, we couldnt really see it properly. We stepped over it gingerly and got a torch. It was the exoskeleton. The thing had moulted right on my front step, which means that there is now an even bigger tarantula hanging around there. In the photos you can see the size of its fangs... all good stuff! In the mean time, i've been arrested and am being held at Scotland yard for gatecrashing a party at Windsor castle. William said the Osama costume was spiffing, even though I told him it was only knocked together from a couple o' toilet rolls. Las Ranas! |
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Monday 16 June 2003 So, finally the eejit has had to downgrade to an inferior host with banners. Soz. It had to happen sometime; the Natural History Museum were threatening to sue me about all the anti American sentiments - something about Tony bush Blair visiting the museum this month. I reckon maybe it was the huge bandwidth i was taking up. So, how are you all doing then? whats new? I havnt seen your big fat bum round here for some time. The Pope over there is thanks to Scrag Ends Ancon Hill rules! |
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Sunday 15 June 2003 I have just snapped out of a dream. I was in a pub in Warwickshire called The Case is Altered. It's a pub that is now in two pieces, split up by the wife and husband when they got divorced. He has the original bar, resplendent in casks and bare wood, while in the next door room, in the same house is the wife's bar. To get to that you go in the front room and sit on sofas round a fire. The two are totally separate and equally bazaar. I was dreaming about sampling a pint in both. God I really miss a decent pint Panama city has an English pub, with fish and chips and a dart board. I go there to play babyfoot, but the Guinness is shite and expensive. Its even brewed in Panama. Orient Express - where does it go? |
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when? 13 June 2003 What is Shifting Baselines? It sounds like a bit of a waste of time, or maybe a Captain Beefheart riff or something you might hear from a politician and pay no further attention BUT, this is important, believe me.... Take the time to explore this site. It is of incredible importance, even though some of the humour may be americanised Kak... Piense acerca del pez en su plato I went to see X-men 2 and wanted to keep saying things like ' what's that man doing with those knives' and 'is he the baddy or the goody? 'My uncle John has assured me that hair growing out of your ears is fairly normal after 30. |
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Tuesday 3 June 2003 Weapons of mass destruction (WMD or white men digging) - the hot new phrase. Who is seriously going to doubt old George Shrub and his poodle Bony Tony? We trust our leaders, we understand that they are doing the best for us and the world at large, they are privy to information that we dont have and we therefore believe what they say. We understand that we can never really understand the intricate details of these things, and so its best left up to these men of honour. Bollocks! The justification for this war? not WMD but OMD, Oil of Massive Value
Sange y Arena, el mismo, el mismo! |
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Monday 2 June 2003 Here are some more
photos of Chris and Donnas stay.... While they were here I finally submitted a huge grant proposal to the NSF for me to stay here in Panama for another three years. I will not hear until December if it has been successful though... In the meantime I am supposed to be starting the Scientific Diving course here this week. Back to Blighty on the 17th July for two weeks to see family and friends. The thought of spending any longer sort of gives me the eebie jeebies. I dont know if its because I dont like England anymore of if I like Panama too much. We shall see, and it will be great to catch up with the low life's. llueve aguacates |
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Saturday 31 May 2003 Chris and Donna want to lick me bum for letting em stay at my house. so, here I give them valuable space on me blog: Yes, yes. This is all very well. But how much do we know of the author of this blog? On what authority does he lay claim to criticize such immutable monoliths as the United States of America? In considering the validity of the
contents of this site, we must consider the following: In light of the above evidence, I vote that he be ceremoniously de-trousered, and whipped soundly in a public space. Failing this – IMMEDIATE RELINQUISH OF AUTHURIAL RIGHTS TO THIS WEBSITE. My numbers may be small, but they are rising. PS. We are wazzocks. He is, in fact, a gentleman. And the wife and I are forever in his debt for the sweet times in Panama he has bestowed upon us. Northern Hobbits? Nah! just round the world travellers... |
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Monday 26 May 2003 It's not often that you actually get the opportunity to prove an Urban Myth: I am not usually bothered by the few cockroaches in the flat, I let them intermingle with my life and every now and then step over them..., but this one was HUGE and it put the shivers up me - For some reason it was raised really high up with its legs underneath its body, and it was bobbing up and down a little, emanating a sort of intelligence the others didn't have. Surprising my self, I suddenly leapt on it and with it under my new sandals I stood there thinking about what an evil person I am. I scrunched my foot around to make sure it was dead, lifted my leg and the bleedin thing ran off at ten to the dozen. When it stopped under the shadow of me guitar that was it, I picked up the nearest hard thing I had - a can of pineapples (dont ask) and squished it across its abdomen. First this brown stinking juice flew out - it smelt strangely of cashew nuts. As i pondered on how a cockroach came upon a cashew smell (did it eats ants that were eating a cashew tree or did it simply have a taste for cashews themselves?) I was fairly surprised to see two tiny baby cockroaches crawl out of the split body and run around in a mad panic. I was amazed. While being amazed I had visions of me letting loose a new superbreed of cockroach, a breed not only able to stand high and grow big and withstand the pressure of sandal, but one with a grudge against humanity (me in particular) and fitting the bill of Part 2 of the series of films, "The Cockroaches Strikes Back" or whatever it tends to be these days. I was on a mad mission by this point, and went for them too. Jesus!, little cockroaches these days grow up fast dont they? 10 seconds out into the world and they are able to dodge a huge tin of pineapples, spot a darkened corner and get there in a flash. They used tactics against me too - both heading in different directions so I didnt know which one to go for and therefore just stood there, confused, frustrated, fist clenching the can.... I retired to bed. Somewhere in my flat, they wait. Does anyone know how long it takes for a cockroach to reach adult size? Turn the big light on |
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Wednesday 21 May 2003 McMother of Desmids...! What a great few days we've had! Des himself turned up at Panama airport looking all Germanic and suddenly followed by Chris and Donna (AKA Go, Strettons, Go!), the round the world travelers, doing what we all wished we ere doing... I stuck em in the truck and we went straight out to Casco Viejo, the old colonial centre of Panama City and then out to a great big Jungle party courtesy of the gracious Emma, hostess with the moostess... We drank and swam in the lake with crocs and then listened all night to monkeys throwing mangos onto our roof. Then a quick hop skip and a jump in a little squinty plane to the shortest runway in the world into the Kuna Nation and the San Blas... Holy moly, mcmother of jaysus!, hundreds of picture-perfect deserted islands, coconuts hanging lazily over sandy beaches that are scattered with large conch's. The snorkelling was great and we swam with dolphins after seeing them on the way between islands and jumping in to the deep blue... Because they are fascinating, you may have read about the Kuna Indians in here before, and it was great to see them in their habitat. They were surprisingly incredibly friendly with us and treated us by inviting us in on their bingo games at night. We ate lobster and swung in hammocks. It was gorgeous. Here's a gallery of photos to prove it.. Des left yesterday back to the Dominican Republic, Chris and Donna are planning their trip to the West Country to hang out in coffee and cloud forest clad volcanoes. Kuna Rock! |
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Tuesday 13 May 2003
Trash Bugs! The larvae of this particular species of
lacewing are often seen around Panama. They are called TrashBugs because
they cover themselves with debris and the skins of their victims,
presumably as a sort of camouflage. Expecting a 'package' from Miami..! |
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Friday 9 May 2003 What a busy busy week. I have been trying to complete this mammoth grant proposal - it will be well worth it if it gets funded - three more years in Panama, three years of hammock and margaritas (when im not writing another grant proposal to lie in hammocks and sip margaritas,, hang on, this could go on for ever and i would get no time to lie in hammocks and sip margaritas... all seems very circular and strange.. mmm. Oh well, there are worse places you can be when you're circular and strange). This from the BBC made me laugh out loud today...
Legal to sell children in Scotland was the funny bit. Does this mean that Canadians dont get sarcasm as well? oh no... Sorry Ruth.. The photo of the two camp canal pilots has made it onto the BBC website. Go to: Have Your Say and click on the Your Pictures link. My laptop screen is smashed and I need a new one... please if anyone out there has any inkling of how to get hold of a new one then please please get in touch.. The monkeys are eating mangos... |
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Friday 2 May 2003 Was in a car accident this mornin' - it was real panamanian style, although not as bad as the lorry-Squish-taxi thing we saw tuther day. I observed this nutter in a golden Volvo (that reminds me - chris and donna - you must sing the volvo song when you get here) as he cut me up. Not unusual or unfair in this tropical heat I hear you shout, and right you would be. But about 400m later, I was in the right hand of the three lanes on the death road - the one they're constantly digging holes in and then leaving them, unmarked and open. He was over to the left side. Suddenly he came swervin' over and just crashed right into my front. His car jumped all over the shop and I slammed on the brakes to a smell of burning rubber. He stopped and I stopped. He got out, I stayed in the car. He went to look at the damage - a big scrape in the side of his car. He turned to look at me, gave me an evil latino stare and got back in his car and drove off. That was it, nothing more. Its normal here to have your car dented in. And I guess he didnt have insurance so wasnt too interested if my car was damaged. Remember in father Ted when Father jack squishes the raffle car like a concertina? there are cars here that are just like that and fully functional - often piled high with pineapples or maybe a cow depending on where you are. Went swimming this afternoon and saw a beautiful circular rainbow halo round the sun: In the picture you can see some mangos in the tree. then we went for lunch at the FermentingMango house where i got these two to pose for a photo. They are students of a local naval (not navel) school and are training to be part of the team of pilots that take ships through the Panama canal. I like the photo.
If I was living in the states This sort of thing would be putting the crips up me What's next? A bit of nature i reckon.... Flavor + Color = homogeniZation |
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Tuesday 29th April 2003 Last Thursday was the ZENITH! One of the only two times in a year when
the sun is directly overhead. It happened in Panama city at 12.40pm. We
went down to the canal building and drank sangria to celebrate. It was
bloomin exciting I can tell ya! - there we were, there was the sun,
right high up, and, well, we looked at it, it was hot, we drank a bit more
sangria, we looked at our shadows - not much of them left, and well, we
stood there and well, that was it really... No big disasters or cows
falling out of the sky or Panamanian devils trying to sell us molas or
anything like that. Playing the Vines - be afraid Environmental Working Group - all good stuff and full of info
Chris and Donna Stretton, the future of investment potential and on
their way Round
the world, are coming to panama in a week and a
half. I just heard though that the big Chris fell off a snowboard in
Canada and broke his Carrots |
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Wednesday 23 April 2003 I am not a xenophobe and to prove it I am giving a hearty welcome to the Algae of this world by giving em prime space on the banner. Oh god its hurting me... Thanks to Nicola for this treat of microscopic diatomomonic treats. My mum has just been given the boot by the evil Hill-Rom after umpteen years of (somewhat) loyal service. She got told to leave over the phone! However, Its a great chance for her to take some time off and do some really great things, like, erm, knitting and erm, collecting vegetables from the garden. Dont worry mum - all will be cushty bardy! I seem to be going through a phase - I keep getting stopped by police here in the city. They are constantly looking for bribes - pulling me over for taking a left hand turn or reversing into a street. They come over, ask for me license and then walk round the car slowly. They stand there, slowly inspecting my license, waiting, waiting for me to just get fed up and give them 10 dollars, its a well rehearsed role. But now I am an accomplished actor in this scene and I wait, I wait and wait too. After a while I do the obscene and show them my diplomatic visa, their face drops. Corruption is rife. And it filters right down. All those without a diplomatic visa get screwed at every opportunity. There is a story that the Panama Police had a helicopter that was
getting so old and knackered and they couldn't afford to fix it that they
thought they would do an insurance job on it - that way getting a big pile
of cash for their pockets. So, one night they flew out into the Bay of
Panama from a presidential entourage and dropped it into the Pacific
Ocean off the Rio Hato early last year, apparently because it ran out of
gas. The problem was that it wouldn't sink! They tried shooting the
inflatable ski things on the bottom but to no luck - the feckin thing just
wouldn't go down! The following day, the National Maritime Service was
sent to the floating helicopter with orders to sink it with machine guns!
which they did. But the whole thing came out and is now going through a
series of anti-corruption trials. The thing is that the $1.8 million
insurance claim that was filed quickly after the sinking was approved by a
politically connected insurance agent, despite the fact that aircraft
insurance policies exclude coverage when the problem is the result of
running out of fuel! The whole lot were all paid off. The Pilot is a
friend of the president. Sangre y Arena |
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Saturday 19th April 2003 Just got back from a really nice paddle up the Rio Chagres:
The water was fresh and almost health-giving. The farther up the river we went the clearer it got. Swimming with a mask and looking down into the depths the green-gold sunlight rays came in from all around to converge on what seemed to be a single point a thousand fathoms away. Blood and Sand |
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Friday 18th April 2003 No tiene cedula que lo identifique como ciudana de este pais... PERO....
Well blow me down! Maybe the holy land will become a safer place now the true origin of our lord is known.... I wonder, if Jesus came from Panama, did he have a big bum? These things are important. Me thinks those historians and theologians are asking the wrong questions The sickly, thickly, sticky and juicy mango season has started here. Mangos lie in the streets in their thousands, each one nibbled by the bloated agoutis who, like me can stand no more but still keep eating them. The trees are ripe and mature, the red hues of their heavy fruit contrast against the waxy green dense foliage. They are 'heavy with child'. The stench of fermenting mangos persists in some quarters while the floral fragrance of a perfectly ripe mango is enough to get your mouth watering. It's the Avocados next, apparently the cars have trouble sticking to the roads with all the squished avocados. The Green Cross Code |
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Tuesday 15th April 2003 How come it's possible to immediately tell a US website? The gold lines? the huge unreadable fonts? the clashing colour schemes? the crammed in information? the rambling and useless crap? the dodgy animations? the Bruce Springstein background music? From the diaries of Saddam Hussein:
Take a look at a photo gallery of Saddam's art. Not my cup o tea, but still pretty impressive stuff. Photos of Darien Gap, Embera and Wounan And although they're trying to sell stuff this is a good site for photos: Panamian Art جامع بوش |
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Tuesday 15th April 2003 Had a trip down the mad Avenida Central this morning to buy some shoes. I took my camera and recorded some of the things and people. A lot of the photos are of Kuna women and men. The women wear bonkers outfits, full of colour and hand made Molas sewn all over, beads riding up their bandy legs and often a nose ring. The men compete with beige slacks and beige shirts. Crib and Dob! Get in touch! |
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Friday 12 April 2003 Hello badgers Isla Iguana was great - particularly my night snorkel in the billions of bioluminescent stars and my chance-upon a sleeping turtle that I then swam with until it bolted into the night. Wonderful.
Beach were we camped
Needle fish...
and lots of Angel fish too With the thievery going on in Baghdad the Americans are showing their true colours:
Is that right Mr. Rumsfeld? jeysus H, It's not the regime that is repressed (well it is now of course), it's a repressive regime, you eejit. The Iraqi fighters never wanted a battle in the city - why should they? that is where their families live. The propaganda worked, and now we have another country ready to be given a pre-pack of drive-ins in return for another fuel rod for western capitalism. Watch out Syria.. Love is a healer |
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Saturday 5 April 2003 Just seen a Toucan out of the window and thought I'd share it with you. Amazingly beautiful - especially when they fly....
It's Ruth on the star turn this week and her banner features a carpet of feeding bryozoans. At least she can spell eejit. In the worlds before Monkey, primal chaos reigned. Heavens sought
order. But the phoenix can fly only when its feathers are grown. The four
worlds formed again and yet again, as endless eons wheeled and passed.
Time and the pure essence of Heaven, the moisture of the Earth, the powers
of the Sun and the Moon all worked upon a certain rock, old as creation.
And it became magically fertile. That first egg was named
"Thought". Tathagata Buddha, the Father Buddha, said, "With
our thoughts, we make the World". Elemental forces caused the egg to
hatch. From it came a stone monkey. As well as Monkey I Have been watching the Baghdad Webcam. While I was patiently waiting for Saddam to run between two palm trees I saw the same car drive round three times. Exciting stuff. The log? Dont like talkin' about it |
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1st April 2003 Hey there chickens... soz about the lack of eejit based activities recently - one thing and another, like The Big Boss being around cracking the whip, and this war - increasingly ugly and untenable, depressingly unreasonable and plainly wrong, I didn't really feel up to being cheerful on the internet. I have never before felt ashamed about being British. This may sound asinine, but sadly it is true. We are all lucky that we are not being blown the shit out of by some foreign eejits - although the threat of an attack on Britain seems almost due. We would not be surprised - would we? But this doesn't really bother me. What seems more important (apart from currently 640 civilians) is the increasing instability. Its the way things are going - the developments in Syria - 'with us or against us' - you stupid stupid idiot Bush. All is cushty bardy weeny cushty ace apart from that... Carrots are in season here - you wouldn't believe the size and colour and variety that is available in these tropical clines. Small purple ones - bloomin' stringy but tasty, huge red ones with sweet centres, and these so called 'doble' carrots, the shape of a well-linseeded cricket bat, and just about the same taste too. I bought a clarinet for just 10 dollars - its in a bit of state but I fully intend to piss the neighbours off and torture my friends at every opportunity as soon as the tropical rust is removed and I have bought some reeds. Oh yeh, and thanks to the GanglyGandhi for the new Banner - to be honest matey its a bit bloody dull - look around nature has given us colours.. Look at yerself - I think you'll find that today, you're the eejit... Keep smiling me lucky lovelies.. |
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Wednesday 12 March 2003 As you can see we have a super new banner for the eejit....'Wowow-ooozy!' i hear you shout!. Designed on commission (not bloody cheap either i cant tell ya) by BrainBoy.tom, a new high-tech graphic design company based in the up and coming world class technological centre of Liverpool - I heard Aigburth Road is the new silicon valley... I particularly Anyway its up for a week and thats it. A call for new banners is made - otherwise after the week is over its back to the evil eyes... OK... Well, it looks as though the dry season may have come to an end here in Panama. Three months of glorious weather and the rains came suddenly the other night, washing the stream of flowers from my balcony trees and the dirt down the hills. Since then the air has been thick with humidity, the sky filled with clouds and its a lot cooler... its like a friend has returned after a trip away, but just that little bit too early, someone you like but dont think about much when they're gone. There's a really different feel about everything. The dry season left just as suddenly as it came. All very strange. I'm still holding out for a few more sunny days though, although one of my shirts has started to go mouldy already... Put the Chicken in the Pan.... |
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Wednesday 12 March 2003 US congress has decided that because of Frances resistance to a war on Iraq, it has to retaliate. So, the cafe in Capitol has banned the use of the words 'French Fries' and instead are now selling (hold on while I try and not choke) 'Freedom Fries' (cough, splutter). Explained by the feckin eejits as:
What do you think? Did Alsatians eat fewer children during the war when it became unfashionable to call them German Shepards? No... Read more here. I have been in Panama now for six months. A good time to reflect? look back, see how its all gone? plan for the future? re-evaluate me life position?.......... Bugger that for a laugh... Hooray! a day out in the spaz bus! |
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Sunday 9 March 2003 Feel like you might get bored this evening? Do you have hot hands? Do you ever know what's going to happen next? Are you one of those limp-wristed eejits that believe in Astrology? Are you blind bonkers? YES? If so! maybe your evening should be spent with Stead from the Avengers holding a séance to contact the Spirit of Diana... Good luck... Pond Fairies - Fresh water Bryozoan movies! Make sure you listen to the music - that's the bryozoans playing the bells themselves, its amazing what these blighters can do... particularly in this day and age. Where's the Beat? I dont see anybody back there but the drummer... |
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Friday 7 March 2003 Carnaval, HOLY MOTHER OF JAYSUS! Las Tablas was plastered with people, this small town in the authentically 'Spanish' area of Panama, Los Santos, is overrun with party-goers every year. Two streets, Calle Arriba (high street) and Calle Abajo (low street), have entered what appears to be an arms race. Instead of guns and missiles they have a mix of gold leaf, gaudy dresses, kitsch and tradition. Each street competes to have the most impressive floats, the most beautiful girls and the best music. Each street has a Carnaval Queen together with countless princesses. These princesses all have the ultimate goal to one day themselves be the Queen. The dreams are in their fathers eyes who will pay out thousands to see their daughters as a queen. Every day, for four days, there are two parades, one in the morning and one in the evening. Each street has three floats, and on every parade they have different floats. The first float has the princesses, the second the Queen and the third the band, bringing up the amazing brass and getting the crowds moving. The parade circles the town and every time they pass the 'headquarters' of their own street, they are welcomed with cheers, multi-coloured confetti and an orchestra of fireworks. When they pass the enemies camp, black flags are brought out and abuse is thrown across the crowds. The beautiful girls on the floats all sing about how ugly the other street is. Describing the floats is difficult. Check the photos here and at TipicoPanama.com for an idea....
One of my favourites was the Queens float of Calle Abajo on Monday night. Two egyptian-looking fellas on the front, leaning out with open hands and their mouths open wide, in loin clothes. Huge fans of feathers tickled the crowds as the float crawled by. On every corner smoke would pour out of the mouths of the 4 metre high blokes up front and the band would kick up another notch. We made allegiances with one of the streets by joining the music float and dancing the whole town. I have no idea which street it was, but the music was fantastic. How the Queens manage is unbeknown to me. Every day they endure two long parades. Constantly dancing, constantly smiling and looking beautiful, constantly singing abuse at the other team, always dressed to the nines in what must be the itchiest substance known to man (except, of course, camels pubic hairs). During the day the tempo changes. The heat rockets and lorries of water are driven into the town. Kids load up with bottles of water and evil-looking water pistols. I remember as a kid water pistols being small, red and transparent, with a spongy trigger and a range of maybe 2 metres. Now they are as big as a briefcase, have four different water holes, a pump action pressure system and a back pack for extra water storage. Everyone was soaked, and when you dried out, you wanted to be wet again... We stayed in a dreadful house near Las Tablas. Infested with Scorpions it was a pleasure to get out... The end of carnaval saw a mass migration back to the cities. Me and Martina left the crowds and headed the other direction to the end of the Azuero peninsula. A half hour boat ride and we made it to Isla Iguanas - a small island in the Pacific , a Nature refuge covered in Iguanas. We camped the night and had the whole island to ourselves. The coral was great - the best i've seen in the Pacific, but the fish were just incredible. Untold species, multi-coloured, spotty, black and white and almost all were HUGE. They surrounded you as you swam. One very large species, a soft blue and pink like the setting sun, was so tame you could stroke it while it grazed on the coral. The Caribbean has the bright colourful fish but they are almost all small, the pacific is host to the big fish and Isla Iguanas seems to be the place to see them. Martina swam for two minutes with a turtle, only to loose her in the strong currents...
As the sun set the terrestrial wildlife made its entrance and introduced itself to us. First a two metre Boa constrictor. Then the Hermit crabs came, in their millions.. Inhabiting Littorinid shells, they swarmed the beach and all our belongs, getting in our bags and eating our food. The vultures got the remains!.. biting millipedes attempted to innocently find a home in our tent. Scorpions lurked... Martina's away to Costa Rica... Buena suerte.. Oh yeh, and the eejit lives up to his name - First I ran over my rucksack and then I left my new shoes on the beach for the sea to take them away. feckin eejit... Beans on toes puzzles police is this strange? why is it that people think this needs police attention? it sounds like a great way to liven up a dull shopping precinct in cold and wintery Scotland. Read this from iraq. Thanks to Lucy... |
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Saturday 1st March 2003 Ship of Fools: The magazine of Christian unrest.. Cleverly mixes a semi-sensible look at religion with an out-right total piss take. Have a laugh at: Gadgets for God and Born Twice.. But before that, you can boil your brain with wonder by going all psychic Im off to the Interior of Panama this week - Hey! didn't you know its Carnaval? Panamanians know how to Party, and the best Place to Carnaval in Panama is Las Tablas. Expect to be covered in tomatoes and foam... apparently.. Blood and sand, the eejits better watch out.... Back sometime soon,
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Monday 24th February 2003
People in Panama City |
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Saturday 22nd February 2003 Ooh me lordy, last night I saw (thanks to eagle-eye Ruth) a Boa Constrictor in the bush at the back of the building where I work. It was an incredibly beautiful thing to watch.... and to touch
Dont buy Snake goods... OK?
Stop messing with the bleedin design, ya eejit... |
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Friday 21st February 2003 Beaming Bristolians top smile league Via green fairy... an excellent piss take of the Ready.gov - From the U.S. homeLand Security web site (dont be afraid, be prepared)... click here to read it.. mango verde |
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Tuesday 18th February 2003 Over fishing is a serious global problem that has consequences far beyond the simple extinction of certain species. For example, the amazing Leatherback Turtle is now considered to be dangerously under threat to extinction as a result of BlueFin Tuna fishing. If you like to eat seafood I recommend looking at the Green Guide to which fish are 'Good' fish and which fish are under threat from overfishing or have a high impact on the environment. Although obviously biased I would recommend anyone who has the chance
to read the short paper by my advisor (Jeremy Jackson) on the history of
overfishing (Jackson, JBC, et al. 2001. Historical
overfishing and the recent collapse I have never held fort with the idea of vegetarianism to protect animal welfare simply because i see this as hypocrisy - everywhere I look I see the human alteration of natural animals environments. But to know that chicken and meat and farmed fish are fed on fish collected by huge ships then i would recommend everyone to eat more vegetables. I feel the destruction of habitats is a much more pressing problem and our lifestyles have considerable impact on the marine environment in many more ways other than just eating lobster once a month. This is of course the same for terrestrial ecosystems, but with the sea we have a chance (albeit a small chance) to save what is truly natural. Nick Cave - Mexican Wave |
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Saturday 15th February 2003 This Saturday I joined the estimated 10 million people worldwide in protesting against the war on Iraq. Here in Panama city a march was planned and around five or six hundred people made it out - although my estimates on numbers could easily be well-out. . The march was led by the red-flag communists, complete with Che Guevara. We walked behind them and alongside a gaggle of gringos and CND members. Following us were women for peace and then some hard core anti-american political league who seemed to be in it for a bit of a ruck. The blue flag flyers were at the end... again, Che featured prominently here. There were a group of Kuna who made it too which was good to see. It was a beautiful clear sunny day. Police presence was exceptionally low except at the US embassy which was utterly surrounded. We blocked Avenida Central which is usually the maddest most busiest road in Panama and reached Plaza de Cinco de Mayo for a rally. We were observed politely by the passers by who continued about their daily business. Most people here think that this war is out of their lives. they are not interested in what's going on on the other side of the world. That was clear given the small numbers of 'regular' Panamanians that joined the march and the complete domination by various political groups, most of whom had a clear anti-American agenda. I told a German friend that it was a shame that people on the march thought that all blancos and blancas are Gringos. She said that it was probably a good thing because it showed that gringos weren't afraid to protest against their country. I really missed being in London this weekend. The pictures were amazing.. Went fossil hunting yesterday with Ken and Michael
the Californian Tiger. Plastic Rat! |
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Saturday 8th February 2003 Waking late to the breeze and sun streaming into my bedroom I wandered bleary eyed onto the balcony and collapsed into a hammock. Too many rums last night. The sea was shimmering in the distance past the not-so-skycrapers. Leaving for work I drove down the hill that is La Cresta and pulled onto the main road. Immediately I was attacked by taxis and buses as a I tried to get into the queue. The real problem was that the men driving these vehicles were concentrating on something much more interesting - a chica walking down the street. The cars and taxis and trucks and buses often have two types of horns. Along with the regular hoot, there is the option of wolf whistling a passing señorita.... eejits. Panamanian women are generally extremely pretty and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, just like everywhere. Panamanians in general are however well known for having big bums, and not the fat type like North Americans or people from Swanage, but the Big and firm type. They stick out like a Mahogany shelf sculpted into a curvaceous wonder. This particular girl was well endowed with her genetic curves, in fact she was extremely plump, and the men loved her as she waddled down the road seemingly enjoying it all thoroughly, the synthesised wolf whistles and all. I have heard that the skin and bone affair so idolised in western europe is a no-no for a lot of men here: "who wants to go to bed with a skeleton" and "there's nothing there to hold on to"... My journey then took me onto Tumba Muerto, or the tomb of death, where I was stuck behind three huge lorrys transporting wide and fragile wooden houses. The lorrys were so old their wheels buckled and they had no brake lights. One look and they would haven fallen apart (look at that - oh, its fallen apart). The houses on the backs were sagging at the edges and looked like they would fall off at any minute. The lorrys were being 'escorted' by a policeman on a big Harley bike. He casually had a machine gun swinging from his shoulder and was having fun riding no-handed. I started to imagine a Buster Keaton or Harold Lloyd type of stunt where one of the houses falls off and the policeman drives through the front door and up the stairs and out of a back window.... No one could get past them. The huge pot holes in this road allow you to drive like a nutter and swerve all over, and the cars were switching lanes, pushing in and cutting each other up while simultaneously trying to dodge the ice cream sellers who use this route to get into the city on their tricycles. It was the start of a hot day. The road suddenly narrowed off from three lanes to just wide enough for them to squeeze through. All the other cars were going mad at the speed of the lorrys, shouting out of their windows and hooting their horns. The Policeman on the bike felt a bit left out and wanted to get involved in all this skullduggery so he too started waving his arms at the three drivers telling them to get a move on, while still riding no-handed. Haven't seen a carpet in months... |
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Friday 7th February Americans Annoyed By International Shit On Internet Me and Angus used to spend days climbing around the house inventing strange ways to hang and fit into small areas high up, suspended from banisters, squashed between corridors and ceilings. Now House Gymnastics is fast becoming the new craze... Panama wont know whats hit em... 'Buffalo stance' by Neneh Cherry or 'Pour some sugar on me' by Def Leppard? - its your choice... |
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Thirsty 6th February A 15 minute flight out of the city took us to a weird and beautiful island in the Pacific. Hosted by Germans intent on establishing a rule and a line for everything imaginable, the rules they had were strict but soft - rules designed to bring pleasure and comfort to our lives. The beaches were empty and white. The sea was clear and a little cold due to the upwelling. The fish were big and unimaginably colourful - blues so iridescent. Charlie, another German, drove round the island in a tractor that was dressed up as a train, and blaring german supermarket music out, he loved to stop and chat, his hair line coming down to his eyes and his voice whistling in the sun. The Armenian cook with a super dab hand at baby-foot and a secret spliff causing him to undercook his fish. The gorgeous dry air, the mad aeroplane rides, the strange kung-fu lessons... The island is called Contadora and when the Shah of Iran was ousted by the Ayatollah Hummingbird he chose to live here.... nutter... Suddenly its February. What do you do in February? Eat more carrots.... ... blood and sand... |
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Monday 3rd February 2003 Well you blog readers out there, this is the eejits mother. Coming in on the blog, pokin' my nose in and getting on the eejits nerves (its what we mothers do damit!). Back here in England after my visit to Panama and other places I picked up a newspaper as soon as touch down. It seems nothing had changed in my absence. Firemen and their mad leader are still being Fiery and going on strike. Bush and Blair are still posturing and striking attitudes (they scare me so I suppose it works). Did you see the empty missiles they found? Outrageous. Imagine the damage they could do to your paintwork. No we must obviously fight this great evil. I propose we send the firemen to Iraq - they'd bore Sadam into submission. On my way back from Dubai last week I saw miles and miles and miles of empty snow capped mountains in Iran. It looked wonderful (from 32,000 ft). Perhaps Iraq is like that too. Last weekend here was chaos because it snowed. Especially in London. It is all the governments fault apparently. Anyway there are daffodil shoots in my back garden so I'm keeping my spirits up. As long as you've got your health that what I always say. The eejit is off to the Pearl Islands so any attempts to persuade you he is working or in any way under any stress whatsoever is completely false. I wiggle when I piddle cos my middle is a riddle |
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Thursday 30th January 2003 Had a really weird dream last night... I was back in England and had to drive four unknown STRI scientists from York to somewhere in Hertfordshire or someplace like that for some unknown bizarre reason. We set off and I started driving like I was in Panama, changing lanes, dodging traffic, pulling out onto main roads with oncoming traffic and all that, and of course all the brits on the roads were getting well pissed off with me, particularly when I honked my horn over and over again.. The problems started when we suddenly hit a huge desert. I had the truck so we decided to head straight into it. The scientists weren't very happy in the back but I told them it would be OK. We drove for ever and finally had to camp. It was night time so it was really cold but still light, strangely. The unfortunate bunch in the back got out and collapsed in a big pile. I decided that they were both too cold and dehydrated so I thought I would boil up some water in a big pot for some tea. As it was heating up I went for a wander in the desert and found a tin tea pot buried in the sand. i pulled it out and had a blind-flashing great idea! - I would put all the scientists inside this tea pot and fill it up with boiling water and they would therefore be hydrated and warmed up in one go. So, I got back to the camp and they were all still lying there. But luckily (or not) they had all shrunk while simultaneously the tea pot had grown a bit so they all fitted in perfectly. I stuffed them in and covered them with boiling water. Put the tea pot in the back of the truck and headed off for a long drive to a small town in England to meet the longest and oldest woman in Britain. I did something else, went to a pub and chatted with some locals. Later I pulled the scientists out and they were all dead. Obviously. Soz about the sad ending to that... Swimming trunks, nervous monks... |
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Tuesday 28th January 2003 Have I told you about the weirdos that science harbours? I think I have hinted at it.. AND Whoaaa! Hold on a minute! you think that this eejit is a case in point.. BUT you would be mistaken in that thought, not just because im not, but because even if I am im not as weird as the REAL weirdos.... Museums are the best places to observe em. But in every institution you can get lucky and find a real treat, quite often they are retired (they are a retard? as Borat would say)... Of course the highest concentrations and best examples can be found at Cambridge University but that means actually having to go there which easily outweighs the thrill of watching and talking to these nutters. Social misfits, strange mannerisms, dribbling, uncoordinated eye and hand movements, inability to express interest in the world outside, odd-shaped beards, blind bonkers nutter voices.. all these are traits to look for. There's the christian born again creationist who works on fossils yet still manages to equate creation with evolution. There's the museum worker who comes in every day 12 years after retiring, wandering round in a boiler suit and a huge set of lenses perched on his head, pressing small boiled sweets into the palms of anyone under the age of 45. There’s the weasely-gangle of a man with a perfect boiled pudding bowl haircut and a tendency to squat unexpectedly in corridors. There’s the plump fella with a laugh that scares the frits out of ya who even after being told not to stare at women’s tits still does so. There’s the exceptionally timid technician who just cant unfold her arms – nobody has ever seen her open a door. There's the mad-staring-boggle-eyed gay lecturer who runs everywhere in pink trousers and breathes at high speed whenever he stops. And here we have our fair share too. The best is a treat of real treats. Lets call him Gilbert Shea, for his name must be changed. He introduces the weekly talks here and has a long drawn out nasal voice which sounds like its been synthesised. He is well known for saying ridiculous things and scratching his crotch in public. His beard is thick and grey and his hair is a mat. Somehow he seems to be able to lean back and slouch forward at the same time. He is skinny and fat all in one. He has exceptionally long legs and his trousers ride up revealing Sloth pins. Standing on the stage, introducing a talk, he unexpectedly stops and turns to the side. Everyone is wondering what he’s doing as he starts to deliberately pick his nose. After an inspection of the finger in question he decides not to eat it and a sense of relief ripples through the audience, but the precious life of this relief is cut short as suddenly he shoves his hand down the back of his trousers, deep deep down, and starts picking his bum. After a good rummage, pick and a scratch he pulls his hand out slowly and sniffs his finger. Turning back to the audience – some of whom are clearly shocked, others obviously used to this behaviour - he continues introducing the talk. At the end, he squares up the audience, his eyes suddenly light up like a babies and he starts running towards the end of the stage. As the stage ends his long gangly arms leap upwards giving him momentum and he makes a crashing jump onto the floor, swings round 180 degrees and places himself into the seats below. There is silence. I love it. I love the diversity. Where else can you find so much entertainment? People are slowly coming back after being away and its good to see them Saw a two toed Sloth this weekend really close and he was moving around a lot. I had never seen a two toed sloth - just the regular three toed. This was much bigger and his toes were hugely long and curly. really really nice to watch , and just round the corner too! Ants and seeds |
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Wednesday 22nd January 2003 You cant get away from it. Even here in Panama, the land of the nod. There is now a strange and growing sense of anti war sentiment coming from Britain. Apparently, the Daily Mirror has splashed a plea for people to protest against an attack on Iraq (albeit without the UN's backing) and although they clearly want to jump on a band wagon which has yet to materialise, it seems nonetheless impressive. There are numerous internet sites gathering anti-war signatures and support for protests. Anti war demonstrations in London are growing, celebrities are coughing up their views in public. I am not in touch with the people on the street, but all the 'professional' brits I know have deep scepticism about Tony Blairs Mandate.... I guess I feel like I'm missing out on attending the demonstrations, getting a feeling from people on the street and talking to people about the issues (here generally people dont talk about it, maybe because there are often many Americans in conversation, and either they dont like to talk about these things until they've happened (read sept 11th) or other nationalities dont want to offend them). It appears that Panama is much less likely to be attacked by 'terrorists' than Britain. Although, with the canal here (The Land divided, the world united as the Panama Canal Commission ironically says), and the canal being such an important hub of western commerce and an important symbol for US development, Panama could indeed be under threat. I wonder what would happen if the canal locks were broken, would Panama City be flooded? I work on a hill and live on another hill so Allah would kindly save me... Off to the island of clothed monkeys tomorrow |
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Monday 20th January 2003 Just got back from a fantastic weekend away with
Martina. We went to my favourite place - Fuerte San Lorenzo, a
Spanish-built fort on We camped in the grounds over night and watched the sun go down, turned round and watched the full moon rise... Rum with a good dose of fire-fly's... In the morning we decided to try to get down to the
river that we Congratulations to Lynden on passing his pointing at strangers test |
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The Pigeon is Back As many of you know there is a Pigeon in my life.... If you dont know what its all about then see August the 5th in the archives. It was a good pass (damn) Extremely well executed by
Bob with my mum in assistance.... The timing couldn't have been better.
There I was He's a bit hot, but getting used to it. The pigeons round my apartment are called ruddy ground doves and are amazingly pretty things but much smaller, so our brit Pigeon just about has the upper hand... The pigeon will stay in Panama for some time, but watch out BOB.... he's a homing pigeon and homing pigeons just love to come home... |
| Sunday 12th January 2003 The trip to the west of Panama was a real treat of super treats. We made true eejits of ourselves thereby carrying on a family tradition but now extending it to the far reaches of the new world. There were so many amazing experiences that it would be impossible to tell you all, so, im just going to tell you one of my favourite... On Isla Bastimentos in the Bocas del Toro region we stayed in
traditional 'huts' but these were five star luxury open sided huts with
hot water, huge mosquito nets, fantastic views of the Caribbean and
sunset. The huts are only reachable by boat and are backed by fantastic
rainforest but sit on a golden sandy beach with coral reef stretching out
to the horizon. Michele and Vincent, the owners, looked after us with
three gorgeous meals each day and lots of excellent wine. It was weird
because it was so idyllic. Photos are here... Took me mum to the airport this morning. We had a great time and she was pretty cool. Although I can excuse the public farting, burping and getting drunk and making a complete eejit of herself.. I still find it hard to accept the snoring.. Another, and much more well known native indian group of Panama is the Kuna Indians... I found this funny history of the strange Kuna flag at this site...
Fancy that? |
| friday 3rd January 2003 Feckin marvelous times. Feckin weird times.... I hate keys, I hate loosing them, and I hate the way they trouble a whole neighborhood. I wish all doors could scan yer eyes and let you in... Tomorrow me and me mum head off to David and Boquete in the west mountains for some cool climate and one of THE best bird watching places in the world. The cloud forest up there is supposed to be a treat... Then 2 days later over to Bocas del Toro to relax on a coral reef island in the caribbean for four days! Bugger, its a hard life. So, there may be a lull in the blog for a while, but hold out cos the photos should be cool... Thanks to everyone for all their emails recently. Im soz for no replies, but you're all just worthless shite and ive got much better things to do now... I love ya really.. Is the answer in the sea? |
| thursday 2nd January 2003 Happy new year... Me mums here... She's drinks and plays the fool... the mother of all eejits, I guess... She wants to write in the blog... uhoh:
soz for slapping ya, i'm soz, really really soz..... (hehehe) |
| Monday 30th December 2002 New Year, oh come by ar me lordy, come by ar. Summing up a year is tough, but .Scrag Ends does quite a funny job (for brits anyway). Talk about torments of good and evil in my mind, now there is a discussion developing between God and the Devil in my guestbook. Come on! role up yer sleeves! Lets see some action between these two... I'll take bets on first blood, intellectual command and total domination. thank you for the days... |
| Saturday 28th December 2002 The festive season is a reason to drink some rum and have some fun. A fine time also to wiggle in the middle right down to yer bum.. Christmas eve was-a-spent livin' it up bloomin' nature stylee with the BCI massiv. First a boat trip out to the island in the canal and from there, loaded with food and drink a crowd of us buckled into a wicked ride in numerous small boats round the island to one of the peninsulas on the mainland - this is Gigante research station. A party of mixers and dancing interspersed with trips into jungle, chocolate cake, gorgeous midnight swims under the stars and forty winks in the hammocks made for a party to relish. Christmas day I woke to a bloomin' lovely cooked breakfast and treats of all treats - some presents to open! Another swim, then back to the island and eventually the mainland via water taxi. Thanks to the superstar slipstress PanEmma for all her organising and festive treats (party pictures coming soon). On the mainland and into Gamboa where the super-sweetheart Andrea, her bruv and bruvinlaw invited me for a rippling and relaxing christmas dinner. But first, it was important to get a lazy swim in at the luxury resort round the corner by sneaking in for free. Thanks to Andrea and the GingerBadger for putting up with my hangover and treating me so kindly.... Will there ever be another christmas like this? Jesus hasnt really had much to do with all this. I guess he probably feels quite left out of a lot of the celebrations round the world. Like the interesting but dreadfully shy bloke in the corner who no-one ever talks to, always nervously thinking about getting home for a cup-o-tea... Me mum is coming in two days for a well-needed holiday.... She says she's bringing tea with her..... nutter. FIRE but not brimstone... |
| Monday 23rd December 2002 Here are the most recent Google and Yahoo search terms that were used by people to end up at the eejit:
Nearly christmas, and my lordy has it come round quickly. Having no seasons here means that my body clock is still hanging around at the end of August, waiting for it to get colder... I'm in a climatic limbo and its great because it explains why time has gone so fast... I am heading out to Barro Colorado Island tomorrow for a christmas feast and then a party on Gigante thanks to an invitation from PanEmma. Christmas will be spent by lush tropical rainforest and trying to avoid getting eaten by crocodiles in the canal. Don't expect too much of Christmas Day. You can't crowd into it any arrears of unselfishness and kindliness that may have accrued during the past twelve months Have a bloomin love-erly holiday/solstice/xmas, wherever yay is.... And may your stockings be filled with treats beyond treats... At last.... its raining... |
| Saturday 21st December 2002 I am definitely a woman! Statistically speaking, I am a chick. This comes with an 86% confidence. The Sparks Gender Test can confidently predict your gender - they claim that it works almost all the time... is it time for me to reconsider..? People are heading back to their families for christmas leaving STRI with just a rumbling empty stomach load of eejits. Nature calls I guess, and when nature calls, you have to act. This morning I took Ruth to the Airport, but before doing so we went to the Canal administration building which is built on rubble from the canal. This means that it is surrounded by amazingly steep grassy slopes. Ruth had been going on at me for ages about how great it would be to slide down the slopes on a tray, so, as a potentially lethal christmas present I bought her a tray. HOLY Mac mother of Jaysus! that slope was steep - watch the video, its a digital definition of an eejit.. but may take some time to download (right click to save).... After that escapade, she did it again... I am getting really excited about the science... and im not joking either. One of these days I'll tell ye all about it Grass stains up me bum... |
| Thursday 19th December 2002 I would like to apologise to ALL american citizens for my small and unnecessary outburst... This is part of Fuerte San Lorenzo, a spanish fort built of coral blocks and used to house the gold from south America before being transported over to Europe. An amazing place. In this photo of Panama City from where I work you can just see where my house is. If you look at the two tallest towers in the centre my place lies just between them. Those towers have amazing views over the bay of Panama. My view is a little more restriced... This is the view from me work window - its Ancon Hill
off to the panama canal this evening |
| Wednesday, 18th December 2002
A friend just sent me this......... she's alright really... a bit bitter, but ok... here's something for your precious blog... "all americans are satan-spawn
crap. they all love john ashcroft, voted for bush and eat arab babies with
peanut butter for breakfast every morning. furthermore, they are
illiterate, consumerisitic, fat, unstylish, whining nun-draggers who
couldn't make a decent cup of tea to save their lives. they are
responsible for the world's drug problems, AIDS, obesity, the color puce,
the change in the body shape of jaguars, bad poetry, the corruption of
punk music, the end of british expansionism, the theft of keith richards,
reconstituted ham products, jennifer aniston, the phrase "quality
time", the success of the spice girls, internet kiddie porn, all
fried food and bad TV. there is not a redeeming quality to be found in a
single damn one of them, except maybe the entertainment value of pamela
anderson. let's just nuke 'em all! Big Mac anyone?.. |
| Wednesday, 18th December 2002
Unbelievable from Attorney General John Ashcroft.... A friend who is a student at a University in the States sent me this email that got sent around to all students: On December 16, 2002, in the _Federal Register_, the Immigration and Naturalization Service published a notice, effective on January 13, 2003, requiring all males "born on or before December 2, 1986," who are nationals Armenia, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia, who were last admitted to the U.S. on or before September 30, 2002, and who will remain in the United States after February 21, 2003, "to register and provide additional information to the Immigration and Naturalization Service between January 13, 2003, and February 21, 2003, inclusive." Attached to this message, please find the relevant excerpt from the December 16, 2002, Federal Register The attached message describes how all males from these countries over the age of sixteen have to register, with all documents, be fingerprinted, photographed, swear under oath and be detained if necessary to answer any questions that may be put to them. This isn't going to happen just once, but at regular intervals.... Police state, outright racism... Cack fucking Americans... |
| Tuesday, 17th December 2002
The traffic is a murky madness right now in Panama City. In the middle of the day, most of the main streets are backed up, as opposed to the normal ebb and surge during rush-hours. Must be all those christmas shoppers ready to lubb it up with big presents and hampers of spam. But somehow it seems all surreal. "Verano" (summer), or the dry season here, has arrived full fried force. Days are filled with sunnnyshine, a pleasant breeze from the north, and clear blue skies. And then there are the giant scarey Christmas elves (or perhaps they are children?) and Santa Claus, five times life size, painted in gold and bright colours, all along the shopping district of Via Espana. Look up, go on!, you there, yes! you! can you see it? its a huge balloon packed to the brim with dancing midgets, making its way through the city advertising the local beer. Big Bay of Brine |
| Thursday, 12th December 2002
Today is the 12th of December. Christmas is coming, and Panama is preparing. Streams of lights wrapped around trees, trucks and tramps. Across the street from me someone has made a decision that the best way to praise the son of God is not only to have plastic lit-from-inside Reindeer pulling a wire sled, but to fill their garden with a full life size plastic nativity seen, again lit-from-inside. We have the three wise men, all of varying height and race. There is a tall black man who's well on the way to becoming a Michael Jackson look-alike, a brown haired geeza with a stash of Gold or maybe its a ninebar of high quality Moroccan gold-seal for Mary's pain relief, who knows, and in front of him, somewhat surprisingly, a little ginger Scottish-looking fella with a ginger moustache. Mary and Joseph, who are both on their knees praying, are looking at a patch of empty ground... Jesus is missing... where is he?... perhaps they thought that being such a small babe he would be prime nickable material... and have decided to lock him safely inside, maybe they have him on their mantelpiece, all wrapped in a plastic lit-from-inside blanket. Lovely! Dry ice discos... remember them? |
| Wednesday, 11th December 2002
I remember, when in England, going round to my foreign friends houses and observing the things they had. I found it fascinating to see what sort of things people buy when they haven't been exposed to years of conditioning by advertising, peer pressure and what their family and friends buy. So, you would see a real mix of obscure brands, hippy stuff mixed with council estate stuff, middle class goods mixed with pikey things. 'Who on earth would buy that washing powder after seeing those ads of people going from door to door' sort of thing. Now I am here, now I am the same. In the supermarket I look at a huge selection of unknown goods and feel completely liberated at having no pre-conditioning over any particular choice. I choose my washing powder on bizarre observations like the angle of a stripe or the ability of the box to fit in between two candles and a big bag of nachos in my trolley. I was told once that advertising should be made illegal. In order not to have any advertising and still have choice we would have to be given long lists of all the goods that were available from different manufacturers and we would make our choices simply by guessing. I reckon it would be a great way of going about it, but of course it wouldn't work... thats often the problem with great ways of going about things. The exception, I always remember, was my friends toiletries. For some reason foreigners always had cosmetics, shampoos and toothpastes that they had brought from their respective countries.., you know, the dodgy grey hair colouring from Saudi Arabia with moustache man on the front in faded yellow and peach sort of thing. I look in my bathroom and see the same pattern, here I find British shaving foam, toothpaste and soap.... Is that boring? Ok, have a photo of a red-legged honey creeper then... More guestbooks please! Fast and Bulbous, The Mascara Snake, Fast and Bulbous! |
| Friday 6th December 2002
Its Eid, the end of Ramadan. This article by a British Muslim is definitely worth reading... Last night my Spanish lesson was interrupted by a huge Mexican band trooping the neighborhood (hood to the b-boys) followed by fireworks which initiated a small music and food festival in the local Park. After learning to conjugate ir verbs I went down to find Osvaldo Ayala strutting his stuff on stage. Osvaldo is one of the leading proponents of Musica Tipica - a unique style of music from Panama, characterised by a strong accordion theme, poppy latin grooves and yodeling! Osvaldo was excellent, and it was clear to see why the Panamanian government have named him Cultural Ambassador. Listen to Osvaldo by going here; Osvaldo Mp3. Everyone here has had a cold and I have been told that its to do with the 'change of season'. It's true, although amazingly subtle, that it is actually starting to get dryer. Clothes dont go mouldy so fast! Maybe off to the Caribbean this weekend |
| Wednesday 4th December 2002 Driving in Panama is great fun! At first you are nervous, frightened after being in the buses in the taxis and seeing the madness, you drive defensively and shit yer pants at every corner. Then slowly you develop the panamanian way - you drive faster, and start cutting in to traffic, you notice that this is the way its done and it is expected. Your hand rests on the horn. You have yet to master the full complexities of the horn language, but you are learning the basics: The long 'hooot' means 'get out the effin way ya eejit'. The much longer, in fact never ending 'maaaaaaaaa' means 'im sat here, I know the traffic isn't gonna move because there is an overturned lorry up ahead, but im still gonna let everyone know that im here anyway'. The nice gracious little 'peep peep' means 'im here, im coming watch out', a slightly longer 'peep peep' means 'hey, nice arse/legs/tits' whatever.. and the 'peep peep hooot' which means 'hey Carlos, how ya doing! i'll be coming round later to pick up that video I left last Tuesday'. The subtleties are complex but I feel more fluent in it than in Spanish already. I now have a guestbook at the bottom left... post some comments my lovely friends......... obscenities, anonymous slaggings-off and blasphemy are welcome! Sunshining, vultures soaring |
| Monday 2nd December 2002 The best thing about bryozoans (for there are many good things) is how their obscurity mixes with their beauty. Many biologists have never heard of them, let alone know what the holy jaysus they are. To see a face light up when someone sees them framed and magnified in a microscope for the first time, when the small smudge, the brown spleck on a rock suddenly becomes an intricately sculptured organism, when for the first time the glorious sweeping fields of everted lophopores are seen feeding and reminds people of a summer meadow. What is this alien life? My office has been infested by ANTS while the cockroaches at home seem to have hit an extinction as I haven't seen one in ages. Dogs on beds. Dogs love to sleep on beds with their owners. Everytime you go to the toilet they say 'hey, I have to drink out of that!' Its time for a bit of audience participation... Dr. OD morning! |
| Friday 29th November 2002
The BBC have decided that eejit is cool and come up with a definition. The phrase pile of pants is also worth reading. Lynden sent me this link to a nice bit of FLASH. make sure you have sound... Not much going on here. Work and then off to a party in Gamboa with live Tipica music apparently!... A soft mornin' to ya! |
| Thursday 28th November 2002
eejit |
| Thursday 28th November 2002 One of the very few things I miss about Britain is the lack of stuff to pike. Living in a rich society means that there is an awful lot that people throw away, discard and leave derelict, and the competition for these resources is generally low. For four years I raided the Habitat skip and I think I miss the feeling of rescuing something useful from an eternity in landfill. Here, in Panama, the amount of waste is generally much lower, people recycle and reuse at home, and the competition for junk is much higher. So, its really hard to find useful stuff just kicking around. An exploration in a skip leads somewhat disappointingly to a big pile of manky Papaya and an aggressive encounter with a couple of half dead cats. Although Panama on the face appears to have little recycling 'initiatives' ('orrible word), I think that almost all useful material is salvaged. There are no bottle banks, but I see people with bags and trucks loaded high with empty bottles. who cares pm |
| Monday 25th November 2002
OK! enough of all that Bush beating. Back to the Panamanian plaintives..... Well, the treats of Panama unfold themselves to me more and more each weekend, like taking apart a complex origami. This paper Origami started as an abyssal floor and became a peaked isthmus on the equator, now squeezed and held up by two continents, North and South and two oceans, East and West. It is the marriage of kinds, the relationship of the seas and of the lands, separate and apart, and being here you can feel it. This weekend we went, with Kayaks, up the Chagres. The Chagres is the river that was damned to form Gatun Lake, which acts as the passageway for the Panama Canal. Great fun was had by all. The eejit bunch really are a treat... And the wildlife too - Highlights included watching an Osprey fishing and listening to the deep calls of Howler monkeys echo across the valley. There was something spiritual about being in the waters, so clean and fresh, so different to the sea in taste. 9:49 am |
Friday 22nd November 2002
From uncle Damien - ta for that.. 1:09 pm |
| Wednesday 20th November 2002 At 4am
yesterday I woke and drove to Naos to watch the Leonid
Meteor shower with the eejit bunch...
By six I was on a boat heading directly into the rising sun and the island
Saboga in the Pacific. With the warmest orange blue sea in front and a
steely black water behind, with Dolphins diving to the sides and a pile of
12:22 pm |
| Monday 18th November 2002
Friday - party fun at my house followed by salsa dancing till the wee hours. Ended up making a right feckin eejit of me self on the dance floor after a few Rum's. Saturday drank some more Rum at home. Yesterday we went to El Valle to the artisan market and I bought another hammock... (why?) and loads of really nice pots for my plants.. Then we went down to Santa Clara beach - an expansive sandy beach on the Pacific side with huge surf. It rained most of the time so I swam or rather got bashed about by the waves and came back with numerous sand burns. Drank more Rum there and also when I got back. Sat in my new hammock last night - the first one's going mouldy - and while drinking Rum I watched the mating habits of Geckos on the ceiling. The male clucks away (listen) and chases the female round then grabs hold of her head in his mouth... then, a quick step and a jump... and suddenly its all over... They were all at it last night, males clucking, females running away like blithery, hot gecko action and all of it completely upside down... I went to bed on me own... again... Geckos are such cool creatures that I have decided to celebrate them by putting a page in the gallery of a single Gecko. This gecko was my friend for a day... he's called Trevor. Look at the pads on his feet used to cling to things. 9:32 am |
| Friday 15th November 2002
Is George Bush destined to be just a figure of comedy, or will the
consequences of his personal missions prove to be significant? Either way,
the number of jokes and general piss takes going round at the moment make
for a good few spare minutes... This picture was sent to me from Jane with the caption "this man is about to start a war".... I'm sure I put this up already but its so good that here it is again: Make Bush strut his stuff on the dance floor by clicking here. And from Rich this is a treat.. bush So, enjoy yourself taking the piss out of the worlds biggest eejit while we sit and wait to see how the world goes... 2:52 am |
| Thursday 14th November 2002
The indigenous Kuna Yala people of Panama are well known for having strong views. Read what they have to say about the Human Genome Diversity Project, and this makes interesting reading too: Indigenous People Fear Genetic Slavery Do you dream of being made of Lego? I do... and now, at last! it's possible to see how you would look if you were a Lego man... Using the Mini-Mizer this is how I came out. Link comes via Alas, a blog 9:02 am |
| Tuesday 12th November 2002 Pictures of the trip to Nusagandi are here.... Africa 1389. The continent's oldest known map is displayed.. 10:02 am |
| Monday 11th November 2002 Well holy mother of nature, what a fantastically cushty weekend out on the cusp of the San Blas Kuna Yana Region, at Nusagandi and the Pemaskey Nature Reserve. Where to start... Getting there and getting back was an adventure. I got the van stuck in the thickest gloopiest pile of mud at a surprisingly obtuse angle. we couldn't drive the whole way because the track deteriorated from barely drivable and dangerous to holy jaysus insane, so we left the the cars and hiked the rest of the way in the dark.. piled high with food, guitars, candles and copious alcohol we passed through steamy jungle down monkey valleys and literally right over a deadly poisonous snake...
The lodge was a wonder situated in the cloud forest with basic amenities, sleeping on the porch, the calls of frogs all around at night, and waking to the sight of numerous Toucans, their hugely impressive and colourful beaks pulling them through the forests to feed on tree fruits. The first night we all immediately got drunk to celebrate actually getting there as well as Ruths 30th birthday. Then, at one in the morning, decided that we should find the waterfall where one can swim in the pool and all go skinny dipping. We couldn't find it trekking for what seemed like hours through the jungle. Most people turned back after most peoples torchlight's ran out of power, but three of us stayed on. Eventually though we headed back and decided to console our unfulfilled dream of swimming with baboons in the moonlight (susie..) by taking a quick dip in a small stream. So, clothes off, thoughts of nasty willy-fish and leeches out of the mind and jump in... mmm... not to bad, a bit shallow and those shrimp biting your bum aren't too good... and then it clouds over and its really pitch black. The three of us decide to get out and rejoin the party, and we head in the sort of general direction of where we left our clothes. Could we find them...? No way. We couldn't see a feckin thing, except the luminescent fungi which were cool, and something we got a good look at given that for the next 20 minutes we were on all fours crawling through the jungle, bums in the air patting the ground in the vain hope that someone's clothes would be there along with a torch. This ground feeling business was done in a sort of hurried 'oh shit we've really got to find these clothes' to a much less hurried and nervous 'oh shit, what if that next branch is one of those feckin snakes' kind of way. Susie found the clothes, Ruth shat herself and I only got bitten 30 times. The next day we Bushwacked through the jungle to find the waterfall - and what a treat of all treats it was swimming in the pool, washing the mud and sweat away. The last evening spent lazing in hammocks talking rubbish and drinking Baileys! Making it back with only one mechanical disaster made for a thoroughly Plastic-flastic long weekend... It was so great to be out of the city and thats a place where you really are out of the city. Im knacked, but feel great... Pictures on the way. 7:07 pm |
| Sunday 3rd November 2002 Blood and Sand.... First the guard here guessed my age as 38 and now this.... Apart from the really strange idea that I am the proud owner of a US government driving license what do you think is not right about the details on this card...?...> Hair colour = "White"! Thats it I suppose. I am now considered to be white haired by the general public... Look, Look!.... it even says date of birth is 1972..... not bloody 1942.... Hey ho, such is nature. Anyway, with this license I have a 4WD and a gang of us are off to Nusagandi this weekend, which is a Nature lodge in the San Blas region up in the hills. The road is supposed to be exceptionally bad, almost impassable except by horse when it's very wet.... It's been raining a lot today. Should be fun! 2:47 PM |
| Sunday 3rd November 2002
All North Americans (albeit Canadians of course) should read and sign the statement of conscience on the Not In Our Name website... Have been digging up all sorts of fantastically exotic plants from a sort of forest wasteland near here and potting them up for my balcony which is hopefully going to look like a jungle soon. Now, these things aren't exotic of course - they are all weeds here. Its dead easy to be green-fingered, just pot and water. And if you really want to be lazy and dont want to even do that you can just get some epiphytes and stick them on a piece of wood and hang them up in your garden. Epiphytes are plants that grow on other plants - they use them for support and get all their nutrients and water from the air or from little crevices in the bark of the tree they are on. Some trees can be really thickly covered in epiphytes and epiphytes growing on epiphytes! Some of the most beautiful epiphytes are orchids... here are some epiphyte photos... I have heard reports of misery hitting the UK.... via the gulf stream. To think that its now getting cold and wet and miserable in the UK when this morning I went swimming in an outdoor swimming pool, relaxed in the sun on the side and burnt my feet on the scorching tiles. I cant imagine trees stripped naked by the cold when all I see is luxuriant vegetation in every crevice. When traveling I dont usually miss places - just people, but Bonfire night is something I thought I might actually feel a little loss, but to hear that Bristol's fireworks were cancelled due to torrential rain makes me settle into panama just a little more. At the moment Panama is partying for its Centennial celebrations - there have been huge Parades up and down Via Espana.. One hundred years ago the revolutionary sentiments that had been brewing in Panama to break away from Colombia came to a head when Colombia enforced Panamanian people into conscription to fight their civil war. With the backing of the US (who had a lot to gain from Panamas independence since Colombia were unwilling to give the US the canal treaty) Panama declared itself an independent state on the 3rd November 1903. Colombia apparently sent troops to regain control but were stopped by US warships in the Caribbean and Pacific. You may actually notice that the date is November 1903 and not 1902!! So, why all the celebrations this year? Well, I guess Panamanians love to party.. and any excuse to practice for next year, by jimmin theyve been practicing these parades for the last month already...... Tomorrow is a national holiday. Now, the hot humid air is filled with beating drums and horns and the sky is filled with firework displays that seem to have no end... 5:32 PM |
|
Friday 1st November 2002
The day Spike Milligan interviewed Van Morrison...
5.50 pm |
| Thursday, 31st October2002.
Isla Grande was Great You may be wondering where all the taxi tales have gone... then again, maybe you're not... who gives a balboa.... Well, its because I have recently started taking the bus, to save a bit of money but mostly to experience the real panama. The buses in Panama are called Diablo Rojos (Red devils), because they are sort of red and they drive like devils. All Diablo Rojos are privately owned, and painted by the owners in bright colors with images of their favorite musicians or politicians, pokemon characters or soap stars, or just a complex scenario of Rambo in the desert or Ruben Blades sifting for gold in the hills. The artwork on some of them is unbelievable while others aren't so hot - one I saw had tried to paint the face of a beautiful senorita on the back, maybe she was a pop star, unfortunately the portrait of her smiling at the backed up traffic behind the bus turned out looking like a grimacing bat with a moustache..... Some particular buses are so popular that people let other buses pass by going to their destination, to wait for their favourite... At night these divils really come alive - lit up with flashing lights on the front, sirens, UV lights underneath and dimly lit inside with pumping ragamuffin Salsa blasting out from huge speakers.... The buses themselves are all ex US school buses, you know, the yellow ones, and so the seats are tiny which generally suits the Panamanians but not my bony knees! Each bus and bus driver travels the same route every day, the names of destinations plastered on the front in metallic lettering or sometimes in neon lights. They stop at every corner and take an age to get anywhere.... Its strange to be sat inside the thing that everyone else on the road avoids rather than feeling that the wheel of a Diablo Rojo will be my last site of Panama. Actually, the wheels themselves are also a treat - often lit up in kaleidoscope fashions.... Photos on their way and maybe a video.... 8.40 am |
| Sunday, 27th October2002.
Off to Isla Grande to go diving on the reefs and eat coconuts..... back on tuesday. |
|
Saturday, 26th October2002.
Halloween party tonight. I'm going as a burn victim with bandages all over me and a scorched t-shirt which is rather funny given the incident with the oven last week. I have half the costume already....
The South Coast Diaries. From there Geordie's Ant Arena and Fly the Copter my top score was 806.
11.57 am |
| Friday, 25th October2002.
Via Bagpusscoffeeshop comes the amazing Weebl and Bob. Have a look at the archives and the mainsite too.... Holy MacMother of Mary, Joseph and jesus too, Mandy got me into this so blame her.....: The Jesus -is-Lord.com website is a must, although rather funnily it has been blocked by a number of Internet Filters for being... well, you shall see. If you cant get through to it because of your work then you're missing out on a treat... Especially good is the The Emperor Penguin and Is Halloween good or is it occultic? pages. Also in there is some of the most impressive drivle i've ever read about why evolutionary biologists are living a lie, teaching satans ways and generally being dead bad. Evolution - The big hoax gives us the "evolutionist's song" which is actually pretty good and I am thinking of using it in my next talk...:
Ever wanted a method of growing unicorns? A television tower with a revolving restaurant, an airship mooring mast, and a transparent globe for transcendental meditation? or a urinal with amusement features?....Patently Absurd!
11.57 am |
| Thursday, 24th October2002.
I'm covered in chigger bites. They itch like buggery.
They seem to be concentrated on me bum. I got them from walking through STRI's Barro Colorado Nature Monument on tuesday. Barro Colorado is amazing. It is a large island right in the middle of the Panama canal, and is composed of lowland moist rainforest. I cant begin to explain the richness and diversity of nature on the island. Nature is nature and that includes the chiggers and the ticks! A spare minute? have a go making the president look like an eejit: http://www.dancingbush.com/. Thanks to Ruth for the link. 11.57 am |
| Monday, 21th October2002.
May the force be with the Strettons as the leave today on their "Round the World in Rubber Chicken Outfits" for charity... Love to you both, and cant wait to see you in Panama next year... I've been an eejit, and this time a real feckin eejit. Last night I had my house-warming party, made loads of food and was looking forward to a real treat of an evening..... house warming turned out a little to literal for my liking... I went to light the oven which I had never used before, and, well.... blew the thing up. Ruth was with me and luckily she didn't get hurt by the incredibly impressive fireball that engulfed us both. I on the other hand had me hands near this evil contraption and received the full blast trying to light the bugger. After flying across the room in an overdramatic way and shouting obscenities, I looked down at my arms to see black charred bits all over, luckily on closer inspection it was just the hairs on my arms! But I knew immediately that I had burned my hands bad. Into ice, and the rest of the guests suddenly arrive. Luckily they are a decent crowd and understood fully, sat me down and fed me and gave me beer with a straw while I immersed my hands in ice which took the pain away. Slowly though, through the evening the pain got worse, and when my right hand was out of the ice the pain was unbearable. So, I didn't sleep until 8 this morning. I sat up, taking pain killers, drinking wine, smoking cigarettes and watched downloaded Ali G and Borat and Father Ted videos. The party went OK as far as I could tell. The next time I will try to be there to enjoy it. Thanks to all who came, and especially to those who ran around after me getting ice, rolling cigarettes, and sorting the food and dishes out. you lovely souls. Now my hand is badly blistered up and Im worried about infections. So, all bandaged up and beaten as you can see... Oh, by the way, apart from the feckin fuck-wit oven, the flat I've moved into is great. Sitting on the balcony with the bird songs and trees all around, in the distance the Pacific ocean, and up close the hummingbirds blipping around the sugar feeder as I lay in hammock heaven. Its a real treat... 6.07 pm |
| Sunday, 20th October2002.
Nunca olvidados. Un año. Paz en el pasado |
| Thursday, 17th October2002.
Ruth has lent me a fantastic book of pre-Columbian pottery designs from Panama. I have taken a few shots and put them in a gallery for your pleasure... Spent the day outandabout fossil hunting again
with t Found some fantastic sea urchins buried underneath mounds of snail-shells and corals, mostly in quarries in the Canal region. The sun shone and then the thunderstorms piled in and drenched this tropical earth. I mention its tropical because as any of you will know who have been in the tropics, the air and the ground both smell very differently to those in higher latitudes... its difficult to explain... And last and certainly first,....... I have only just been made aware of this song, by the great Captain Beefheart.... Thanks to me old chum Tom o' the Wood - he knows what I like and hes a real trooping mastermind... How I ever missed this song I dont know.....
Would you believe it.!...... The problem is I cant find a copy of it on mp3... if anyone has any luck then please let me know.... put some more snaps in the gallery...... 7.44 pm |
| Wednesday, 16th October2002.
I cant believe this.....Recharge booths end dead mobile time. Booths set up in London to charge your mobile phone .. It must be a joke.... you pay 50p and it charges your phone...... in a booth..... yes, a booth, very similar to a telephone booth! so, why cant you just use a public telephone...?.... madness. Maybe because I have been without a mobile phone I am completely unable to appreciate or understand them. I have had the belief that, ok, yes they are useful on certain occasions but the negative side of them simply out-weighs this. I find that they are another thing which takes the edge off life. Leaving things to chance I find always brings out the best situations. I see people relying on them so much. rather than becoming a tool to improve communication I have seen them as another way of secluding ourselves further into already-established groups..... Leave the phone at home and chat with your bus-seat neighbour instead! (deep breath) This opinion is to change... yes........ I have
my first mobile phone..... The apartment is a real treat.. It is situated in an exclusive part of down-town, right in the centre actually, on top of a hill called La Cresta. The vice president lives round the corner which is handy for a bit of political discussion or a cup of sugar... It has a lovely large balcony with trees all around, space for a hammock, and a sliver of a view of the Pacific ocean. 9.02 am |
| Monday, 14th October2002.
All the known paintings, watercolours, drawings and letters of van Gogh can be viewed online at the The Vincent van Gogh Gallery. Fantastic stuff... Yesterday was a good day. Ruth the Canadian eejit gave a thanksgiving meal. She cooked a huge lamented turkey and mashed squash, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce. Her surrogate family descended on her and scoffed the lot. It was a real treat... thanks Ruth! More photos in the gallery... 8.42 am |
| Sunday, 13th October2002.
I used to believe is a collection of ideas that adults thought were true when they were children. People submit their own, and others laugh at them: "I used to believe that if you stood under a satellite TV dish while someone changed the channel, you would die" "My dad told me if you played with your belly button, your bottom would fall off" "I used to believe that my immediate family were the only people in the world that farted" "I used to think that Cher really WAS a gypsy and a thief and some kind of egyptian ruler." 12.54 pm |
| Sunday, 6th October2002.
The bryozoans are free! 22000 fossil colonies have been liberated from the evil captivation of the museum in Washington and are now on their way with me on the plane, back to their home land. Years of being cooped up in cramped conditions, sometimes with up to 500 colonies sharing a single small box, has taken its toll on these endearing, naturally free-roaming animals. They are now dusty, dull in colour, and apparently of little interest to anyone. But wait! with your help I have managed to smuggle them out of the country and we can give these creatures their last chance to be free in the habitat they originally lived, albeit 5 million years ago. I expect a few casualties on the way to freedom, but even if only a handful of colonies 'make it' out there, then my work here will have been worth it. Yesterday was great fun. spent the day with lovely Vicky in the sculpture museum and then the evening with her and the mad two: Lucy and Emma. Arun joined us too and saved our lives by talking to the fire engine guys from Texas about hydraulics so that we could carry on our conversation. Thanks matey! I got pretty pissed thanks to the firemen who bought us an extra pitcher, got to bed at 4 and woke up and really could not remember a thing. Its coming back to me now though... The US has gone down in my estimation (which I have always tried to keep on the benefit of the doubt side). Its a bad country. I dont mean bad, I mean bad. Im not talking politics, which goes without saying.... The food is diabolical, getting hold of anything decent, anything fresh, anything unprocessed to death without the major ingredients being soya oil and sugar (even fruit juices) is nigh on impossible. The land of the free live in the most draconian rules i've ever come across. Queue here, dont go there, put your bags over there, dont roll your cigarette here, put your fingers up yer bum over there. People have no style. Although very friendly, its often hard to find any substance in someone... All in all, the more I visit the states the less I like it. Yet, at the same time there is an attraction... I dont know.. weird. ooooooh, on this plane there is a magazine called SkyMall. Its full of the most useless Kak i've ever come across, even worse than that inventions catlogue you get in the UK: There's the "All season moisturizing glove" which "rejuvenates hands or feet (eh?) in just 45 minutes" and is "ideal for sailors" $50 bonkers... The automatic vitamin and pill dispenser - a large blue thing with a revolving tray system to deliver your tablets for you... The antibacterial toothbrush purifier, which apparently "takes hygiene to the next level!" and is a "necessary oral health care device"... "Look great and feel relaxed in this beautiful silk Bomber jacket - perfect for almost all weather conditions" except presumably, wind, snow, cold and any bit of rain... "Your pet will be traveling in style" $290... Says it all I think... I really like the: "Lets face it! Temporary tatoos are fun..." .....What the??? "Arrive refreshed with your own personal, ultra-miniature air supply". This is a thing you hang round your neck and its supposed to remove pollutants, bacteria and odors. It is a "unique ionic wind technology project". How the McJesus its supposed to work when it sits a foot away from your gob I dont know... But my favourite is the air travel pillow... I
really had to I have started a new project. More details later.... For now, its back to Panama home, loads of love to all the really great people I've met in the last week in Washington. Don't forget - 'Gordon Bennet' at quarter to 3. 1.26 pm |
| Friday, 4th October2002.
Finished! my work here is done. I can now leave this city of mad presidents and extremely intelligent tramps before I get picked off by this lone marks-man that is shooting random people around here. James Gordon Bennet II, 1841 - 1918 is the man referred to, and was quite a colourful character. One of his many reported exploits was an incident where he flew an aeroplane through an open barn. The surprised onlookers were supposed to have said 'That was Gordon Bennett!', and hence onward to the current shortened phrase. Became popular again during the 1980s but is again falling out of use No its not! Lets not let it disappear... To keep the phrase on the curled up edges of everyone's linguistically dry mouth we should all shout out 'Gordon Bennet!' at exactly quarter to 3 this Sunday.... Come on, lets roll with this one! You never know they might hear it in Afghanistan. Oh yes, the intelligent tramp... Last night on my way back to the hostel I got approached by a short fella with a swinging walk. The first thing he says to me while whipping his hands around like a B-boy or a rapper or whatever... is "name a country! Aaaany country maaan! Name one - go on!". So, I say Chile. Suddenly, he's lost his home-boy slouch and is standing tall and erect. He then reels off this amazing list of facts and figures about Chile's geography, climate, politics..., and starts to go into the history of colonisation of southern Chile by the Europeans before he suddenly stops, stoops again and walks backwards while appearing to come forwards (if you know what I mean - I suppose its called leaning) with his first and last fingers pointing and says "name another maaaan, go on! name one - anywhere". So I suggest that Turkmenistan would be a good one.. and would you have it, there he is going on about the USSR, the mountains, even the Romans. After three more obscure countries (including the French invasion of England, 1066 and Shakespeare) I am truly amazed. He does this for money to fuel his alcoholic intake. He told me he couldn't read until he was 18, he looked about 25.. I asked him if had ever travelled to any of these countries. He said he'd never been outside of the Washington DC county never mind the country. 5.06 pm |
| Thursday, 3rd October2002
I have made a friend at the hostel. James works for a Republican congressman from California at the Capitol building. He is extremely patriotic (wears a stars and stripes tie), extremely friendly and very interesting to talk to. He was telling me about what congress are up to at the moment. It turns out its a shambles. The country is on the brink of war, the budget is overdue and guess what, for the 3 days out of the week in which they work, congress is deliberating on passing resolution no. 174 in the 107th congress which is based on what George Bush said in October last year - that "America has no truer friend than Britain". James kindly got me a photocopy of the resolution: "Whereas the United Kingdom has been a stalwart and loyal ally to the United States..". It resolves "That the senate extends its most heartfelt appreciation to the United Kingdom for its unwavering solidarity and leadership as an ally of the United States and reaffirms the special relationship of history, shared values , and common strategic interests that the United States enjoys with the United Kingdom." It reminds me of being kids at school - when you form into groups and pick on somebody. 'He's my friend but your not... naah-naah... '. It means nothing and is a complete waste of time... James has offered to take me on a tour of the Capitol building tomorrow morning. If my work goes well today I think I will take him up on his offer. Fighter jets constantly circle the area around Capitol and the White house. A lot of museum scientists hang around well after retirement, resulting in most big museums having there fair share of 'characters' or 'nutters'. Harold is a retired geologist who wanders round this department saying hello with his binocular microscope headset resting on his forehead. He's a lovely old fella who loves his work so much that he cant leave, even though he no longer gets paid. On his round, he comes into this office and is surprised to see me every time. Before leaving he always digs into his pocket and hands me a red stripy sweet, which makes me feel like i'm six. 8.28 am |
| Tuesday, 1st October2002
Here in the Capital, the art and history abound, the streets are clean, the buildings square and imposing, there is little traffic, and few trees. The Mall is the main drag for all the museums, and thats where I am. At one end is Capitol hill at the other the extremely pointy Washington Monument. Over the river is the Pentagon, and round the corner is the White house. The FBI headquarters are on my way back to the Hostel and look like they might suddenly explode with all the balingering going on inside, the activity oozes out of cracks in the form of high-pressure steam which is then harnessed by what are locally known as low-life... small, white angels with the miniature body of a Greek god and the mind of a hell's angel, they have a tendency to dry out very quickly, otherwise they might rule the world. I enjoy the Hostel Im staying in - a great place to meet people, although 2 years ago when I first came, I didn't feel old, now I look at all the young travellers and my eyelids feel like they are drooping at the edges. Grey hair is something you can forget about because you rarely see it unless you partake in mirror activity, but now I see it in the eyes of the hip kids who are saying 'this guys alright, but he's a bit old for all this isn't he?' Two Russians outside my hostel door, I open the
door to go out and one of them exclaims 'Oh! so there is a little men
here'.. Work is going well, very well. The material I am borrowing is great and rummaging through the cupboards is fun-ky. Make your children work for their keep? Good idea...<---- 2.38 am |
| Saturday, 28th September2002
Im off to Washington DC for a week to work at the Smithsonian's National Museum of Natural History. I will be borrowing lots of fossil bryozoans which will form the backbone to the work I will be doing here in Panama. Unfortunately, I will just miss the protests against the world bank that are occurring there this weekend... 2.38 am |
| Friday, 27th September2002
Soz, no taxi tales today... First, congratulations to Lynden and his blog, the bagpusscoffeeshop, for coming runner up in the Britain's best blog competition. re-reading Lynden's blog got me thinking about the billboard proverbs that are placed outside churches to make you stop, think and maybe, just maybe, go inside and......, well......... I dont know what you do when you go in these places, get saved I suppose. Here are a few I remember..
And these I found on t'internet as suggestions for your church..
Great stuff!
8.49 am |
| Thursday, 26th September2002
Last night I watched Lord of the Rings. Pretty good
but not altogether my cup of tea. Anyway, I downloaded the film off the
internet for free and watched it on my laptop. This morning I forgot to
take the power cable to work with me, so I jumped back in a taxi and
headed home (yes, i'm soz, but I have managed to 10.00 am |
| Wednesday, 25th September2002
Update on the taxi tale.... This morning my taxi not only had a thick sun strip on the tap half of his windscreen but also on the bottom half reaching upwards. This left just the thinnest strip of transparent windscreen through which one could see where we were going. So, be warned, if you're exceptionally short in body you may well not get away with the plunge into tropical taxi blindness. Never seen a woman taxi driver here. The Smithsonian's stupidly named Make the Dirt Fly! online exhibition on the Panama canal 2.23 pm |
| Tuesday, 24th September2002
The portrait artist Stephen Bennett did a series called "Spirit of Panama", which really struck me as capturing the hugely varied faces and the expressions seen in Panama. He has done a portrait of the excellent Panamanian musician Ruben Blades who ran for presidency here in 1994. More portraits of his here. Check out Ruben's new album MUNDO. Also, if you're into salsa or meringue music then have a listen to the classic Willie Colon while you're at it. 5.15 pm |
| Sunday, 22nd September2002
Check out the Belief-O-Matic..! Now, you can find out exactly what religion you are after answering just a few questions - amazing! I came out thus: Unitarian Universalism
(100%) | Theravada Buddhism (95%)
| Liberal Quakers (87%) | Secular
Humanism (80%) | Mainline to Liberal
Christian Protestants (76%) | Bahá'í Faith
(61%) A huge and fascinating catalogue of old films from the US Prelinger Archives. There is a 1912 film on the building of the Panama Canal, a 1920's touristic stroll through Central London, Music films, including folk songs on Cleanliness..!, surreal atomic US Civil Defence films, films on Mexican Americans, and a 'Conservation' film called 'Look to the Land' which has great music, to name a few. Thanks to the green fairy for these. 1.04 pm |
| Saturday, 21st September2002
I take a taxi to work - have to tell you about Panamanian
taxis... Taking a taxi ride in Panama City is usually an experience. Not just because of the state of the roads, the mayhem or the speeds reached on corners. During a heavy downpour the roads can flood immediately and the bald tires of your taxi tend not to grip the road as much as you would like them to. This doesn't mean you get to your destination any slower of course. Night is the scariest as many cars dont have proper lights and pedestrians are lost in blackness. To shield the drivers eyes from a harsh tropical sun, most cabs have a thick dark strip across the top of the windscreen, like the ones that were fashionable in the seventies saying 'Trev and Shaz', except without the 'Trev and Shaz' bit. These are important because they are tailor-fitted so that they extend right down to the level of horizon- view of the driver.... Given that most Panamanians are short-arses, I have to slump heavily into the seat and crook my neck to get a view of where we're going or what we're going to hit next. At night its worse - It is absolutely impossible to see anything through this shield and it feels like you're driving into the black void that is tropical evil. This adds to the excitement. Many a time I have found myself clutching the door with white knuckles and my feet pushed hard against the floor. You have to trust your driver and say to yourself 'relax, relax, reeellaaaax'. There are many taxis in the city (lots of them are professional guys made redundant when he US moved out at the end of 1999) and its usually dead easy to hail a cab. Because of this it is actually possible to choose your ride on the state of the vehicle and height of driver. However, I enjoy taking the crumby taxis, with the loud music and no air conditioning. I thought I should do a search on Google and Yahoo to see if this page comes up - and surprise surprise... no it doesn't. So, here are all the other Blogs I found for Aaron or eejit: I like 'Aaron's Baseball Blog' - fascinating how serious this game is taken. daily musings of a mad eejit | The eejit strikes back | Aaron Wood's Blog | Aaron's Blog | Aaron's Baseball Blog | Aaron's Blog | Aaron Adams 9.24 am |
| Wednesday, 18th September 2002
There are two really nice things about the place I am living, both are
the result of being situated near some forest. The first occurred last
night and really was a treat to the senses. Waves of heavily perfumed air
blew in through For all those in Europe and Blighty in particular Freewheelers Lift Share My sculptures are in a new site - take a look 8.51 am |
| Tuesday, 17th September 2002
The U.S. is the only nation-state to have been condemned by the World Court for international terrorism. link. 5.02 pm |
| Monday, 16th September 2002
I love mangos and the trees that they grow in are beautiful. 9.52 am |
| Sunday, 15th September 2002
lluvia, lluvia, lluvia. This morning I walked to the top of Ancon hill, the hill in front of the Institute. Saw so much wildlife, including, two Titi monkeys, a big lizard, numerous species of flycatchers, crimson birds, brightly coloured butterflies, mesh-like fungi, frigate birds, and two really cool black and bright green poison dart frogs!. The bonus of the day though was watching a three-toed Sloth scratch himself while hanging around in a tree. Called Perezoso in Spanish the sloth lives up to his name. 4.37 pm |
| Friday, 13th September 2002
I have made it, and almost settled, physically that is, not mentally, yet. There has been a problem with the server at the NHM so I haven't been
able to upload the blog files and it wont be fixed now till Monday at the
earliest. No point me telling you this is there? There are three dogs at the place im staying. Woof! One ate my sandals this morning. Another wakes me up at 5.30. The house (right) is comfortable. It's situated in Albrook, a suburban area close to the national airport on the outskirts of Panama city. There is a supermarket and a couple of restaurants nearby which is handy.
So many things going on, so much to tell you, but you will have to wait... 5:40 pm - From now on its Panama time - currently six hours behind GMT |
| Wednesday, 11th September 2002
I'm on my way to New York where I get my connection to Panama. There are probably quite a few Americans on this flight although the
plane is fairly empty - I have six seats to myself. I only guess they are
Americans given the shirts/ blouses/ties/jumpers/socks etc all patterned
with the star spangled banner. After the 11th sept, a lot of people in the
States decided to hang the flag outside their houses. In Denmark they do
the same - very long thin red triangular flags with a white cross -
everyone has em in the country and they The following text is from Lynden's blog. I hold sway with what he says generally, and in particular about the hypocrisy - it is clear that in the broader picture the attacks on America were miniscule. (Hiroshima, Vietnam, Kuwait, even Panama!)
As far as I can see, most countries with any power are hypocritical. I think it is a little naive to expect the American people to sit up, notice what's really going on, and do something about it. It really is just not going to happen.. Do people really have a world view anyway? in some parts of the world they do, in America it seems to be very limted.... And then of course, being British doesn't mean I am exempt from such things. To be a liberal and spout views but not do anything about them can seem fairly weak, however, discussion of the wider view I feel is essential. Think and express. 12:04 pm |
| Wednesday, 11th September 2002
Yester Oh yes, here is a mission for you all. Can anyone find or create a better definition of an eejit than the one I have on this page. Send them to me and the winners shall receive a real life Panamanian Prize, and we all know what Panamanian Prizes are, dont we? 11:22 am |
| Tuesday, 10th September 2002
I now have a tiny digital camera which can also be used as a webcam and can make short movie clips too. Its so small and cushty and was really cheap too. It means that if you so desire you will be able to see me, actually in
Panama, actually in the Smithsonian, actually picking my nose... Great. With this camera and the help of Chris and Donna I have already been able to add pictures of some of my older sculptures to the sculpture page. 2:34 pm |
| Monday, 9th September 2002
Late last night I watched Gorillas in the Mist. Sigourney Weaver Fish plays Dianne Fossey the famous primate prodigy. I started to draw parallels between her journey and mine. My boss Jeremy Jackson became the obstinate yet generous Professor Leakey, and when she was left to find her own way up to her new home in the mountain forests, clueless and naive, but strong, faithful to her mission and determined, I felt the same way about going out to Panama. I know its a little far fetched! Instead of living in a hut in the rainforest I'll have a room in a posh house on the outskirts of Panama city. Rather than writing letters on a typewriter which her boss will receive two weeks later, I will be sat in an air-conditioned office typing instant emails. Her weekly Land Rover trips to the market will be replaced by my taxi driven jaunts to the supermarket El Rey. Small, dried-out bryozoans under a microscope will be my substitute for awe-inspiring interactions with wild Gorillas. mmm... did I say bryozoans were cool? Its only 2 days before I leave. Must buy some new underpants. 2:34 pm |
| Wednesday, 4th September 2002
Have just heard that the Natural History Museum server will be unavailable for updates till next Tuesday so thought I better say something now. But now I've got this far I cant think of anything to say. I suppose that's natures way? 9:14 pm |
| Tuesday, 3rd September 2002
I have decided that the second most boring thing to do in England is to drive the motorways of this land. This is a shame because it results in having to do the first most boring thing - cleaning and hoovering a car. My mum's back and so the car she lent me is now returned safe and shiny. Sunday was in Bristol and with Justin and Andy went to a car boot sale to get rid of the large amount of habitat skip stuff that Charlotte had kindly kept in her loft this summer. This was the third habitat skip car boot I had done, each one making about 100 squid. For the nearly six years I was in Bristol I seem to have spent a lot of time with my legs sticking out of the big red skips round the back of Jasper Conrans middle class creation. I got all sorts of great stuff, including chairs, tables, lamps, pots, glasses, sheets, towels, cutlery, picture frames. Most of it I gave away or used. The rest I fixed up and sold. Car boots are weird places. Friday was fun. Got me hair cut short and now I look 12. That evening we were supposed to be having a barbeque at Andy's allotment but it poured down so we retired to the pub. With empty stomachs and an evening of drinking most people got pretty inebriated. I said goodbye to the crowd. Love to; Rich (slurring short-arse who can play a mean riff), Dave (slurring tall bloke who can sing like an angel), Mandy (you're lovely too by the way), Bob (pigeon), Nell (survived a weaver fish and has the scars to prove it), Ronny (hairy but bald), Sophie (complete sweetheart, completely off her rocket), Justin no.1 (dream boat), Justin no.2 (brown haired film maker), Shaun (inspiration), Ros (a synesthesia synesthesia, synaesthesia radio fame), Kier (the king of gentle), Andy (Lambretta core), and Lisa (falafel queen). Soz to Lynden for not meeting up - ya eejit. So, that's the end of Bristol. What can I say? Happy times, sad times, some unfinished business there, both good and bad. The place will draw me back, but I certainly dont have any expectations that things will ever be the same. Times change, people move on and change, and im changing too. I can't help but feel positive about Bristol now. Oh, and this is funny - The
Framley Examiner. The Classifieds are the best: 10:23 am |
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Tuesday, 28th August 2002 One of the most prevalent
human desires appears to be an instinctive aim to live by the sea. The draw of
the shore, or indeed to other boundary areas is After Wales, Sophie and I went to another place with lots of boundaries - we spent a wondrous few days with my oldest and boldest friends Chris and Donna in Liverpool. We happened upon a weekend of festivities in Mathew Street and then these two liver birds each took a day off to take us to the ever impressive Liverpool Tate. Chris and Donna are truly one of the very few couples I know who are so clearly right - its an impressive relationship and one which drives fascination and envy from all that know them. I will miss em both loads, but they have booked a 3 week visit to see me in Panama at the end of May next year as part of their Go, Strettons Go! round the world trip. Our trip left us with serious wind burn as a result of driving through Snowdonia with the roof down - its OK though cos it looks a bit like a tan. Now its two weeks today that I leave for Panama. Time to get some action done. I did actually buy t-shirts today though. I was thinking about the clothes most high street shops sell and where they come from. The old sweatshop visions came to me and the protests i attended against GAP. I started getting confused.... Gap were highlighted not because they were the only company using sweatshop labour and paying a pittance to workers, but because of the amount of markup on the prices on the street (e.g. a shirt costs £30 but is made for 50p in El Salvador or some other place). The argument was that all this money was going into fat cats pockets and not benefiting the source economy. This is probably correct, I thinks. So, I look around for an alternative and come across H&M. The shirts here are considerably cheaper than Gap (I saw a T-shirt for £3), so, therefore, the amount of markup can no way be as much as Gap. So, therefore H&M are a morally better company...? This cant be right. can it? surely the money in the managers pockets isn't as important as paying a decent price for essential goods, such as clothes and food too? The problem with Gap is a bit more complicated than this, but still, im confused. I did end up buying 3 shirts though, and very nice they are too. 11:15 pm |
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Tuesday, 20th August 2002 Sweet baby jesus. Have spent the last few days in the big smoky London. Saw a real treat of treats in the form of relatives and friends. Took me mam to the airport - she's in Turkey walking like a nutter through the hills. Thanks to the uncle Damien for a swish soiree on saturday night, swished by a troop of interesents and soireed by a copious glug of champagne. Cousin Rachael and hubby Steve kindly put me into bed and looked after me with a fine collection of herbal teas. Spent time at the Natural History Museum (where I visited Himler's cell which lies underneath the west gallery) and then met up with the mighty Jane Pike after 5 years. Monday was spent in the hills and trees with guitar and mango, the mango was never eaten but the hills and music and moon were there. I do promise however to go back and eat the mango. Went back to Bristol last night and picked up Sophie. Today, on the way here (Lapland), we stopped at The Bards home - Stratford upon Avon - and took a zig-zag rowing boat out on that aforementioned river. I got my tickets finally on Friday. I'm traveling on September 11th from Brum to New York and then on to Panama city. Bienvenue al paraíso! Me and Sophie are spending a few days in the sticks with a tent, probably up in North Wales on the Llyn peninsula. Then on to Liverpool for a bash with Crib and Dob. Im driving my mums car and its a bit flash. At first I was concerned, embarrassed by being in a car with the roof down. Now I dont care - its just really great to feel the wind and see the sky, and its also good cos you can fart and it just disappears. I wonder what they do in space when they get the farts. Do you think there are loads of rogue farts orbiting the earth? 8:45 AM |
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Thursday, 15th August 2002 Hey up! Left Bristol, moved out of North Road yesterday, am now up in Lapland at Woodbine Cottages. Andy, once again the super-slug-star-with-van, moved all my stuff up to my mums house where it now sits in the shed. He did it with a broken arm too!. Leaving Bristol was a bit sad. Six years of settling in. Bristol is now rooted in me and I reckon I will be back. It was good fun living with Rich and Dave these last few months. Two of the most eligible bachelors this end of the continent (get in touch with them if interested). It was a real treat to be smoking and drinking and playing music into the wee hours with a couple of wazarks like them. (NO!). Rich and Dave are moving to Bath this weekend - all the best to them with knobs on. Now i'm at me ma's house. Its lovely out here in the west of Warwickshire. The house lies right between where two canals meet briefly before heading theri own way - the Grand Union canal from London and the Stratford upon Avon canal from, well, Stratford upon Avon of course. There's lots of great walks and treats like kingfishers to be seen. The family are coming today which will be great to meet up with em all. We are having a barbeque and the weather looks like its going to be glorious gaynor - the first rays of sun are streaming into the bedroom and the sky is blue for a million miles. 8:45 AM |
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Monday, 12th August 2002 Well bloomin eckers what a cushty weekend! The gig on saturday went unusually well. We were upstaged by a four year old who really saved our set. He demanded the microphone and shouted for more R&B instead of punk. Turned out he had a better voice than Andy! He had a go on Rich's guitar but was scared off the drums by scary Justin (probably cos his willy kept hanging out of his skirt). This little scragger was a real help actually. He gave the audience something to look at instead of nervously having to look at a group of 30 something eejits playing bad punk and feeling sorry for us. It was a really good crowd and we raised 200 squids for extremely beneficial projects in Sub-Saharan Africa. Lisa did wonders by providing the best falafels ever eaten this side of the Danube. Much respect to Andy and co for organisation. Last night me old mates Chris and Donna came to Bristol and Bob had a superb barbeque which turned into a venue for Twitchers only ever acoustic set. Bob trooped out endless tasty snacks and kebabs - well done and thanks! Im going to miss that crowd for sure. 3:50 PM |
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Friday, August 09, 2002 I have always loved to see plants growing in the gutters, out of the windows or on ledges of buildings where a scrap of soil has collected. There was one building in Liverpool down Rapid street that had a huge Alder tree growing on the top of it - Amazing! So, I liked this when I saw it: Kudzu Covered Houses For all you London nutters: The Lost Rivers of London. Can you help find those lost rivers? ! Twitcher have a gig tomorrow - We are playing at the Porter Butt Pub, London Road in Bath. Its an all day event - check the flyer and make sure you come along. Hacksaw have to be the best band in Bristol at the moment. One of their best goes: "dont feed the Geese, dont feed the Geese, dont feed the Geese, cos the Geese are Dead!". They also do a good one with bog rolls and have been known to have a full set of cheerleaders dancing on stage. Always good fun. Im sort of looking forward to playing our last gig but will be sad to leave the band. im sure the rest of the band see it as a great opportunity to start doing some proper stuff. They only took me on through a care in the community project. fools 19:56 PM |
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Friday, August 09, 2002 I've had a funny
couple of days. Although i've been in a generally chilled out mood I seem to
have attracted trouble. First of all after spending a lovely day with I took my bike to the Bristol
Bike workshop who said that a load of kids went out the night before just
trashing bikes round Bristol. Beat em all with sticks after chopping their hands
off.. evil kids must be punished!!!...
I have yet to buy me plane tickets. I tried a while back to get really cheap tickets: Given that I was to fly on the 11th September I thought that I might be able to wangle discounted danger-price tickets. The standard searches came up with nothing, so I decided to contact the airlines directly. Continental fly to Panama via New York and I thought; 'hey, that plane will be empty - they are bound to be desperate for passengers, especially a safe one like me'. The reaction I got from them was unexpected. They were appalled that anybody could even contemplate asking such a question. I went higher up into the drivel that is 'customer relations' and got the same response. It was as if they were in complete denial. As if accepting that the flights will be empty means accepting that 'it' happened. Oh dear... 12:03 PM |
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Tuesday, August 06, 2002 Find out which colossal death robot you are 4:17 PM |
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Tuesday, August 06, 2002 It is always nice to
spend an evening talking to lovely friends, one after the other on the phone. It makes life come
together, no matter how far away they are. |
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Monday, August 05, 2002 Time is catching me up... aaagghhh!... where on earth does it all go? I had so many plans of things to do before I leave, and now.... I only have one week in Bristol, so many people to see, to say goodbye to and no time. On top of that I want to sculpt as much as I can as I wont get the chance for a long long time. Breathe, relax.... aaah I wanted to tell you about
the Pigeon... stay with me on this one...... Myself and Bob have a game
involving a Pigeon. Its called Pass the Pigeon. It started one inebriated
evening where the pigeon was passed back and forth between each other. It then
evolved into a highly strategic game where we would each try Pass the Pigeon has turned into a
bit of a classic. All our mutual friends know The
Pigeon, by the way, is a plastic decoy (but its real in our hearts). Its a decoy
of a European Wood Pigeon (Columba palumbus), and has been carefully hand
painted. It has a hole underneath for attaching to a stick, and can be played
like a horn. Dont ask, just dont bother... |
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Sunday, August 04, 2002 I have finally bought my new guitar. Its a Simon and Patrick Spruce top acoustic and its a real treat of treats to play. It was time to get rid of Orla my lovely twelve string for moving to Panama. It was a sad affair to see her leave for part exchange. Twelve strings for twelve years, a rich sound, and she saw me through a few years of
busking, but by-eckers I wont miss tuning that great oaf again and it was about time to say goodbye to that 60's sound. |
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Wednesday, July 31, 2002 Welcome! |
This
weekend Drude, Elizebeth and myself
made a trip over the isthmus to Colon and then along the 10 mile rough
track through fantastic jungle to the nearly 500 year old Spanish Fort.
The location is terrific. Perched on
the end of a rocky peninsula, overlooking the exit to the Chagres river
and looking out over the Caribbean sea it was a perfect place for a
fort. The fort has nonetheless been attacked and burnt to the ground
three times, each by the British. First was Francis Drake in 1596, then
Henry Morgan made successive attacks in 1668 and 1671 and finally
Admiral Vernon in 1740.
a
headland on the caribbean coast reached from the road through a 10 mile
drive through lush rainforest. The fort, along with the more famous
Portobello was built as a safe hold for gold and silver stolen from Inca
and other south American peoples. The treasures would be brought up the
Pacific, then transported by horse from Panama City on the Pacific side
over to t
could
see from the fort (see photo to right) and as we had seen a small boat
cross we thought maybe they could take us to the long beach which
stretched away into the distance. We managed to get down to the river but
no sign of a boat, so we decided to leave our belongings and swim into the
strong current, across the river to the flotsam and jetsam strewed beach.
We wandered, picking up all sorts of amazing seeds, wood and oddities that
the natural world throws into the sea and back onto the land. After hours,
a collection of large pieces of smoothly eroded logs, bleached by the sun
were tied together with rope and we swam back with our booty, literally,
in tow...
looking out over my balcony talking about all the different species of
birds we get in La Cresta and there, nestled in one of my pot plants,
right in front of me eyes was the bloody pigeon, staring up at me... a
blast from the past, an unexpected visitor - Excellent!!
coffee in me belly. We reached Saboga with Tyler who works out there on
corals and algae and spent the day snorkeling the reefs. Saw some amazing
fish and had an encounter with the hugest 
When
I saw this photo in the local newspaper for Gringos - 'El Visitante' I had
to share it with you... Would you ever believe it - a black man goose
stepping with a BNP sign behind him - only in Panama!!
he
crew to the right.... Juan from the Panama Governmental Mineral
exploration blah blah, Felix from the Smithsonian and Michael 'the
Californian Tiger' Kirby from.... well.....California....
take
a photo - click and have a look. This guy looks like he's dead! The
blurb goes on about how great it is: "It works with gravity rather
than against it", you mean like an aeroplane? 
swingle
this round to a taxi tale again). I got chatting with my driver Anthony
(see right), he was a nice guy, who was amazed at how much I pay for a
room in Panama. So now he has my phone number and he is on a mission to
find me a cheaper place. He was intrigued by small digital camera and so
didn't mind me taking a picture of him. The funny thing was that he did
some serious posing for this shot before I took it, arranging himself in
his seat, checking his cap and finally slowly raising his thumb to a level
high enough to be seen but not so high that its coolness was lost.
Scarily, all through this process not once did he look at the road, and
given that when you press the button on my cheap camera it takes ages to
actually take the shot it seemed like an eternity before he checked where
he was going. It was like in films when they 
never
look at the road, and the steering wheel swings from left to right. 
no apparent reason. Other drivers pull out in front of you at all angles,
at high speed and strangely often at the last minute. When reaching a
crossroad the aim is to go for it, the ones with the most nerve making it
through first - the smaller vehicles give way to being squashed by the mad
buses (more on them later) or the huge jugonaughts that pass down the
longest road in the world - the 
the windows filling my room, filling my nose and contributing to a feeling
of well-being and light headedness... I slept very well last night. The
second occurs early every morning. It is the amazing orchestra of the dawn
bird calls coming from the trees close to my window. A move into the city
doesn't quite seem so appealing now.
Did
you know that yesterday was official world-wide Mango day?
I
have been sorting my stuff out at work too. The building I'm in (left)
isn't the main STRI building. It used to be a US Army hospital and is
opposite the High Court of Panama. Its quite close to the canal and you
can hear the blasts of the ships echoing round the area. 
Bloomin
noisy things aeroplanes and the videos are shite American shite, if you
know what I mean. Nice shades of blue though as you can see <--. I got
some really lovely views of Lands End as we flew past.
look great, they are gentle, they give you a warm feeling, and make you
feel like saying "yes, patriotism is good, im going back to England
with a new found and suitably justified pride in my country". So,
why, when I see the star spangled banner plastered on people and peoples
houses and peoples cars, do I not feel the same way towards Americans and
America? Is it the imperialistic overtones? Is it the harshness of its
representation? Is it the threat of a world Power (the Danes are quite
harmless, really reserved, dead nice generally and good in bed too), is it
my prejudices? or is it a fear of the unblinkered support of a scarily
dumb president?
day
my uncle John turned up to Lapland on a skive from work. 
Well,
there was nothing for it, we hit the Lapland town for my last night. First
we went to the local canal.. Me and me mum made eejits of ourselves (left)
while John photographed us and then proceeded to pay for our hearty meal
at the PoshPub. Thanks John (see right, and gaze at his saintly glow)..
Click on the pictures for bigger and better.. My mum's the best mum in the
world and thats for sure. I can confidently say that she is my only mum,
and has been right from the start, and that means a lot.
understandable
simply for basic human needs such as water and food. After spending five days
camping in a wild, secluded and beautiful bay on the Llyn peninsula in North
Wales I know that there is more to it than this - unexplainable, soothing and
nourishing. Thats probably why Birmingham is a dive.
Sophie in
Glastonbury eating soup and climbing the 
Last night was lovely though.
With Lynden and Justin getting drunk on a superb thick dark ale sat in a big
sofa in an old pub down by the docks. Did we really sort out the Palestine
Israeli problems? God damn it I think we did!
and pass the pigeon
to the other in more stylish, extravagant or clever ways. So far, I have had the
pigeon strapped to my bike, hidden in a freezer for me to find while thinking im
looking for a
great pudding, dropped in front of me by a stranger at a festival, hidden in a
rock pool and told there was a black octopus hiding in the algae by some kids,
and many more... Meanwhile, Bob has had it swing down on a rope in front of her
as she opened a door, given to her by a man she really fancied, stuffed under
her accelerator pedal, passed by a barman over the bar who called out 'is anyone
here called Bob'. Some of these stratagems take a while to plan and so in
between these we often make small or minor pigeon passes, finding it under our
respective pillows, stuffed under our beds, hidden in our bags, looking down at
us from cupboards.
about the pigeons adventures and
ask what its been up to. They often get involved with the passes themselves. My
move to Panama will hopefully not result in the cessation of Pigeon Passes. I
reckon that although the passes will become more infrequent, they may well
become more clever. This could go on for years!
