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Baby Blaine
Friday, 27 June 2003
Baby Blaine
Well, at this time Blaine is 20 months old. I want him to slow down. I literally relish every second with this angel God gave me. I always hope I'm doing the right thing. Trying to balance a fine line between spoiling the child and giving him everything he wants versus never letting him have the freedom he deserves and inflicting punishment over the wrong things. How do you worry about this at 20 months old??? I need mother's advice. He's my first...may be my last...and I want him to just be a STAR. I know that sounds lame...but in my heart, he is. As I'm sure that's how probably every mother feels of her children. I don't mean a star as in the 'Baldwin' sense...just a STAR as in the helps old ladies' across the way and gathers the neighbors' mail without consent kind of star. I want him to be warm and loving and giving. I want him to be unselfish, carefree with affection, and always able to pick up on others' frustration. But tell me...is that not an ENORMOUS load to put on a child's shoulders??? I know this because my parents did this to me. But I also understand viewing other HUMANS that this is better than being in the narcissistic ranks of most that I encounter. Ahh...waht to do? So let me tell you what I've done so far and PLEASE send comments. I have let him develop his very own personality. In the eyes of my family members (mother) this is just unacceptable. But I do discipline if he hurts others. I think hurting others just inflicts pain on yourself. If I can teach him this ONE thing, I think he will turn out WONDERFUL. Call me nuts, call me 'a new mother'...I don't care. I think this is the one lesson that will keep with him throughout his life. Be your own without hurting others!!! Is that so bad? I also am from the stand-point that it's not in human being to 'intentionally' hurt others. I know, I know...but hear me out. He sometimes doesn't realize what he is doing hurts physically. But I can tell you, if you look at him like you're mad, sad, or anything of the like, this baby of mine immediately gives you a hug and kiss and says, 'ouchy bye-bye'...so I'm doing ok, right? While at the same time not walking that fine line of the 'guilt complex from hell' which I had growing up. If I get hurt in front of him I assure him it's ok and not his fault what-so-ever. If he bites me, I assure him in turn that it is his fault and not to do it again....wrong? Let me know. So far, it's working. He has his moments. He's a wonderful baby...at times he's a heathen. But even when he's a heathen and throwing a tantrum, I can't help but love the fact that he expresses himself in the most immense way. I suppressed everything as a child in fear of the punishment. I want him to express his displeasure while at the same time not being rewarded for tantrums. Which we do NOT do. We leave the room, ignore him, and yes! My child gets spanked. Not often, but when I feel the need. But am I a judge of that? That's my question and ponderous moment of the evening...thanks for any input!
Jenni was bored at 9:34 p.m.

Posted by moon/blaine at 8:21 PM MDT
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