I am weak!
Mood:  down
I ate and ate and ate! I worked out a ton but I binged again! I said I was not going to do that yesterday. I need help! I am worthless!

Aghhhhhh!!!
I just ate two serving of pasta! I feel so bad right now. I was doing fine untill dinner came around. I ate good all day but by dinner I was starving! Then I ate and ate and ate! I feel so bad. I also feel like I have no self control! I knew I should have stopped after I had my first serving but I didn't care. I just wanted to shove more food in my mouth to feel full..I think I like the feeling of being full and that is why I eat so much..I eat untill my stomach hurts and then I stop eating becasue I am to sick to shove anything else in my mouth. Tomrrow I WILL control my serving of food.


After I wrote that I then made a HUGE serving of chicken and rice and ATE it!!! OMG!!! What is wrong with me! I can't blame PMS! I wish I could. All this is my falt! I am a fat PIG! What would my Master think! I bet he would tell me to throw it up if I could and then fast for days! I really don't have any self control. Tomorrow I WILL be good!!! I will be in control!! I won't fail! I can do this!!

I want food!
Mood:  hungry
I am staving right now. I really want something to eat!! I have not eaten that well. Part of me likes this feeling but I am so used to feeling full! I hope Poe makes pasta tonight! God I can’t wait till dinner! I know I should not even eat dinner but I need to slowly progress. I can’t just starve myself when my body is used to eating properly!

Life is okay I guess...













I am not well but I am not good either. I am stressed out and worried. I will update this later. I need to clean. *yuck*

That quote is very true. I am a emotional eater and when something is wrong I BINGE! It is gross and afterwords you feel ill because of all the food you have consumed. When I binge..I don't taste the food at all..I SHOVE THE FOOD DOWN MY THROAT AS FAST I CAN..THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT FEELING FULL THAT SOMEHOW MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER..BUT THEN YOU GET SICK BECAUSE OF ALL THAT FOOD AND YOU FEEL GUILTY because OF HOW MUCH YOU ATE AND ARE AFRAID TO GAIN WEIGHT!!! and then you end up THROWING IT UP!! It is a fun cycle. *eyes roll*

Mood:  happy
I just started this...I am kind of stressed out just from creating this thing..It is a pain in the ass!!