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Funny Bumper Stickers

"Seen on an old, beat-up car: "This is not an abandoned vehicle." "Forget the Joneses, I keep up with the Simpsons." "As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools" "The more people I meet, the more I like my dog." "Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot." "Conserve toilet paper, use both sides." "REHAB is for quitters" "I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!" "Ashes to ashes..dust to dust..get off my ass you crazy nut!" "SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver" "Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!" "It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you." "If you don't like the news, go out and make some." "I Brake For No Apparent Reason." "Nobody's ugly after 2 a.m.! " "Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips." "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!" "Assassins do it from behind!" "Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill them." "Don't come knocking if the car is rocking" "Save Water - Take a bath with your neighbor's daughter" "Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear." "He who laughs last thinks slowest" "Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else." "Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math." "Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies." "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes." "Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy." "Consciousness: that annoying time between naps." "i souport publik ekasion" "Sex on television can't hurt you unless you fall off." "My karma ran over your dogma." "Life's too short to dance with ugly men." "Never play leap frog with a unicorn." "The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful." "If it's too loud, you're too old."