I work at a place where I constantly have to deal with people. I deal with them when I'm taking their orders, when I'm making their food...pretty much non-stop. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate people, and boy does that come out when I work.
One of the main reasons why I brought back rants and raves is that, after a long day of work, I am full of hate and anger, etc., and really want to choke a bitch. Every day, I deal with the same type of assholes. I've taken the time to classify the average customer.
-First-time assholes. Often, people will come in and start looking around like they were a little baby coming out of the womb. They kind of stare all funny like, and they're always look up and down the menu, laughing at the names of our food. "OH ILL HAVE A BLAH BLAH LOL THAT SO FUNNY LMAO!!!1!!!!" they'll say, as if I didn't know that was what the food was called. Its not like I've ever worked there...in fact, I showed up one minute before those fuckers! Please.
-The price bitchers. Where I work the food is expensive (or at least expensive for what we sell). They'll be like "OMG ITS SO EXPENSIVE" and they'll give me looks as if *I* fucking priced the food. Its not like I'm fucking scheming against these assholes and the food was half the price before they came in. The worst is when, after telling them the sub-total, they'll start complaining to me. "WOW THATS EXPENSIVE LOL!!1!!!" they'll say. Oh, since you fucking said that, let me cut you a fucking deal! No, fuck face, pay what the rest of the assholes pay. Christ
-The incomprehensible fuck-face. Sometimes, I'll stand at the register, be all like "What can I get you?" and they'll be like "CAN I HAF JHKJDHG:DGK" and I'll be like..."Erm...excuse me?" They'll repeat it, louder and more incomprehensible, and then it becomes the "Sam Tries to Guess What You Ordered Based On What Letters He Picked Up!" game, which blows. Then, they'll be assholes who just rifle shit off..."Oooo, clams look good...so does this...and that...and one of those..." and after they're done with that, they'll be like "Oh, and how much was that?" DOES NO ONE HAVE BASIC FOOD ORDERING SKILLS ANYMORE?! I ASK YOU FUCKERS WHAT YOU WANT, YOU TELL ME! SIMPLE AS THAT! NO QUESTIONS! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!...
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Alright, lost my temper...anyways...
-The smarmy kid. There is always that asshole of a kid who is 14 years old or younger who thinks hes the man. They usually order food fine, but when they're at a table waiting, thats when shit hits a fan. They're fucking loud, annoying, trying to impress their ugly girl friends, fucking around with utensils...all this bull shit. Usually, right about then, sanity leaves and I function the rest of the day on who knows what.
Allright, I can't write about work anymore...the migrane is killing me...ughh...
You done yet?
