It Started With An Angel

"I've Fallen In Love With An Angel" is a lyric I wrote for Tami to celebrate our 20th anniversary.
It was put to music and performed by Ken Medema, and is used here with his permission.

A Rough Start

A year after being released from the hospital and rehab when I first became disabled, my marriage failed and I found myself like a helpless babe back under the roof of my mom and dad. My first marriage (which was only a year old at the time of the diving incident) was doomed the minute I hit the water. It turned our relationship completely upside down. It is not an uncommon occurrence for a marriage to fail when a spouse becomes disabled, and when you consider our age at the time... It does no good service to relive the details of our separation, and unfair to her for you to hear just one side of that part of my story. One important lesson I've learned in life is not to look back. I am thankful to God our friendship has remained and that she has since remarried with a life of her own. She is a beautiful soul with a heart for God.

It had become my parents, me, and a home health aide that would come and go daily to bathe me and get me up into my chair - my strange new companion that I loved and hated with the same passion. It was, to me, a colossal behemoth that had come to take over my life. I knew in the end, either it will defeat me or will defeat it. So that became my new quest. I was David and the chair was Goliath. You could not think of one without the other.

But my troubles had only begun. Just less than five months after I moved in with my parents, my father succumbed to unbearable bone cancer. My world was crashing down on me. It was difficult for me not to envy him as he slipped into eternity, but I also know how hard it must have been for him in his last days to see his youngest son totally paralyzed. At least now he is in paradise with the Savior and has traded his suffering earthy rags for a snow white garment of heavenly Love.

I spent the next few years living with my loving mother and eventually, I moved into a house of my own with a live in aide, holding on to my fraying faith, and praying that God could somehow sustain me as I struggled to learn this bizarre new way of life where I had to rely on someone else for virtually every detail. You cannot imagine the terrible burden it is to be responsible for a full grown quadriplegic. It is an endless routine of meds 4 times a day, bed baths, feedings, transfers to and from the chair, changing positions, doctor visits, sometimes hospital visits to battle infections... My bedroom and bath is more like a hospital room in disguise.

Introducing The Angel

"Hello." Just a single word and my heart stopped. I was calling my cousin, and Tami, her roommate, answered in her absence. She had the voice of an angel. I asked to speak to my cousin and she replied, "She's not here. May I ask who's calling?" I became instantly intoxicated. I told her who I was and she said that my cousin had spoken of me. We talked for a few minutes then I said I'd call later. It was all I could do to wait for "later" because I had to hear that voice again.

That evening I called and asked my cousin about her roommate. She told me a little about her and after we talked a while, I asked to speak to her again. We must have talked for over an hour. With her every word I found myself becoming drawn into another world. There was no paralysis there. She saw past it. She saw inside me and seemed to like what she saw. Love poured out from her with every word. When we finished, I told her I'd call her back the next day (a Saturday) which I did... three times! Then three times again on Sunday.

During the third call on Monday, I heard words I never thought I would hear. With a heavenly sigh she said, "I'm falling in love with you." It was as though I had been given life again. How could anyone love me? I thought. I continued to call her three times a day and then by Thursday I was completely overcome. I asked her to marry me over the phone, sight unseen. She heartily agreed, and in less than two months she had packed her bags and moved away from her town and state and into my paralyzed arms. We were married in an intimate ceremony in my house in front of family and friends.

On our first morning together she got up to fix my breakfast and brought back my usual bowl of cereal on a tray. Beside it was a single crimson rose in a slender clear vase. I was so moved. It was as though God was saying, "I am with you."

We eventually moved to her town because, besides her friends, I had relatives there. Now it is our home. My mother moved as well and married again. She and my step-father live ten minutes away from us. Ten years later we adopted a child and now God has blessed me with what I thought was impossible for someone in my condition... a family. Also, thanks to the remarkable progress of computer and music technology, I'm able to create music again, and I continue to sing His praises.

By the way, if you're wondering how I type if I'm unable to use my hands... I have a mouthstick I use to peck at the keys--one at a time. It takes a while but I couldn't type any faster with my fingers before my accident. (smile) When you're disabled, you learn to use what works and just make do. It's quite an adventure! (PHOTO.Wedding.)

And Then One Day...

So there I was, going on with my life, finally settled in and it hit me. One of my battles is my inability to cough without someone's help. They must push on my diaphragm, much like the Heimlich maneuver, and help me cough any congestion from my lungs. Sometimes, however, there's just too much and I get an infection which leads to pneumonia. So, very next year after we had adopted my son, I found myself full of congestion, barely able to breathe, unable to cough, and headed to the hospital.

HOME - THE VOICE AND THE VISION

"GLORY AND HONOR AND PRAISE"
by Jeff Leslie