i dunno.. lately i've been upset, depressed, confused and scared bout a lot of things. i think im goin through that stage of my life where im growing maturely.. i've outgrown plenty of things.. things that entertained me and things i used to do and enjoyed doing.. these things bores me now.. im scared to grow up tho.. i dont wanna leave my childhood behind.. those were precious memories.. the things that i used to do, i cannot do anymore.. im so scared!! i dunno wut life is ahead of me.. i dunno if i can handle it.. i really have to find myself.. i dunno wut i am.. i dunno wut i wanna be.. i dunno who im gonna end up with.. so confused.. but all these worries are out of my system now.. all thanks to God!! last night, i kept thinking bout this and i juss felt the sudden urge to cry.. i prayed and read his word!! i really poured my heart out while i was talkin to him.. and wen i read his word, i found a couple of encouraging verses..
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.
Jeremiah 29:11-13
"For i know that plans i have for you" says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and i will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Me worrying was really wrong.. maybe God was testing my faith.. and i failed his test!! and i really cried and ask for forgiveness.. i shudn't be worrying bout anything.. cuz I have a God who loves me and cares for me.. He loves me no matter wut.. das why he sent his only son to die for my sins.. and das wut u call grace.. sumtin that was givin to you dont u dont deserve.. i dont deserve him, i dont deserve his love.. but yet he still loves me.. He's always there for me no matter wut.. People change but my God doesn't.. das why im truly blessed to have him in my life. i can never ask for anything else.. cuz having God in my life.. having him as my Lord and Saviour i know i can do anything.. i can face any trials and i know he will always there for me.. and if i fall i know that he will always be there to pick me up.. So it was really wrong for me to worry bout my future.. cuz like His word said.. He has sumtin planned for me.. He will give me a future.. i juss surrender everything upon Him.. every decisions i make.. Everything!! I dont need to worry bout anything else.. last nite was really a memorable experience for me..

juss woke up.. its 12:00 in the afternoon.. and now im eating my breakfast/lunch, which is corn.. lol.. i never knew that corn wud taste good if u put butter on it.. it's really delicious!! hmm.. wut are my activities today?? umm, go to vocal lessons at 6 and das it..

movie and painting
went to church again to help paint.. and then we watched a movie after.. so many people are pissin me off nowadays.. i juss cant take them anymore!! i juss wanna go and cuss them off.. but i know its not the right thing to do.. need to pray and ask God for strenght and patience to endure these annoying ppl around me.. sum of them act so childish.. like, seriously man!! grow up!!
anyways.. me and my friends watched anchorman yesterday.. it wasn't that great.. yea, it was funny and all but i really didn't like it.. i wasted my 6 dollars for that movie, i shud've watched the notebook instead.. i really wanna see that movie but they all wanna watch anchorman.. *sigh*
omg!! saw the cutest guy in church today.. well, one the cutest guy in church cuz there's a lot of cute guys in church.. he's so darn cute!!! my friend intorduced me to him.. and wen i left for the movies he said bye to me and said my name!! i cant believe he remembered my name cuz my name is not that easy to remember.. oh my.. but the heartbreaking part is that he's already taken!! dang it!! howcome all the good lookin guys i know are taken!! dun worry, ill get ova him soon.. its juss infatuation.. but the sad thing is, he's so hard to get over with cuz he's so adorable, funny and a christian!! my type of guy!! the way he smiles and laughs is not attractive tho, but i still find it cute!! and i was watching him play volleyball with the kids.. *sigh* i miss the other guys tho.. i hope he was here but he's not.. why do u have to go sumwhere for ur vacation, u cud've stayed here with us!! and i really miss him!! man.. im talkin and thinkin bout guys too much!! i promised to myself that i wud stop!! and i also tried to start hating them but i cudn't!! its so hard!! they're so adorable!! hehehe!!
We have BBS later.. i hope it doesn't end up to be a flirting session.. well, no worriez bout that becuz ***** is not joinning us.. We were talkin yesterday and James said how some of the ppl only go to bbs to see sumone.. the guy made a point.. i know its true but im sure im not one of those.. becuz i dont like anyone in **** and im kinda pissed of at them.. psshh..
juss came home from bible study.. today's bs was the most lively bible study we had.. everyone was juss interacting and sharing their past experiences.. which is really good.. and then we sang songs after.. it was really a fun bbs!!

what a day!!
went to church and help paint posters and those thingy majigy!! it was fun but kinda tiring.. i got to spend time with my gurlies again.. painting was kinda fun and relaxing.. shud've taken art instead of music.. i juss discovered that i have an artistic side in me!! hehehe!!! never knew i cud paint.. lol.. yea, rite now, im bored and hungry!! no food in the fridge, they're all gone!! i shud've went to mika's place.. man, im shaking!! its prolly becuz im hungry!! lol!! o wellz.. i wont die of hunger.. so bored, no one to talk to on msn.. they're all offline.. ill try talkin to ppl who i dont really talk to.. i tried fixin my page but i dunno wut else to do with it.. man, i dont have a life, and i need to get one!! need to get a job before school starts or else ill be broke for the rest of the year :(.. oh goodie!! sumone's talkin to me on msn!! lol!! yea.. ill go now.. bye bye!!

today was a normal sunday.. i woke up early to go to church.. came back home and ate lunch.. now im sittin on the computer and typing.. talkin to sum ppl on msn.. feelin a lil bored.. im juss gonna sit here and wait for sumtin exciting to happen.. i have nutin else to do.. but stare at the screen.. *sigh*

Went to kim's house at four to spend quality time with her cuz she's leaving 2morrow to go to Philippines.. aww im gonna miss her!! Cant wait till 2morrow comes!! Goin to wonderland!! yey!!