Jefreys to Run For President/Vice-President in 2016
KIRKWOOD, Missouri (AP) --On a chilly November morning just three days after Tuesday's national election, two young men from the St. Louis suburb of Kirkwood called a news conference to announce their candidacy for the 2016 presidential campaign.
Matt Zimmer, 21, and Bryan Erwin, 22, stated that they are actively seeking the Democratic nomination for president and vice president, respectively. They have chosen the year 2016 because it is the first election year that both men will meet the minimum age requirement of 35 to hold either office.
"Today begins a new era in this great experiment we call democracy," said Zimmer, as he stood on the front porch of his Kirkwood home, flanked by his running mate and surrounded by a throng of family and local news media. "Bryan and I are committed to this quest to restore a new order of social justice and civic responsibility and integrity to our great land."
Both candidates are college seniors with no prior political experience. Zimmer is an Advertising major at Webster University in St. Louis, and Erwin studies English at Cincinnati, Ohio's Xavier University. Neither men are yet official members of the Democratic Party."We'll be filing our membership applications later today," said Erwin, the prospective vice presidential nominee.
Aside from politics, Zimmer and Erwin are best known for their work as sole members of their rock band, "The Jefreys." Critics have described their music as "a powerful blend of socially conscious poetry with enchanting pop melodies."
When asked if they were putting their music career on hold, Zimmer responded by saying, "This campaign is not an abandonment of our music, but rather an outgrowth of it."
With a span of 16 years until the 2016 election, the Zimmer-Erwin campaign will be the longest ongoing political campaign in history. Erwin has selflessly volunteered to spend the majority of the sixteen years in Hawaii, insuring the ticket gets that state's 4 key electoral votes.
The team has also broken with convention by developing their two-man ticket in advance of the primary season, a time when presidential hopefuls traditionally run alone.
"I don't think it's so weird. Why wait? Two is always better than one, right?" said Erwin.
Interestingly, the order of the ticket was determined by a quick game of paper-rock-scissors, with Zimmer emerging victorious.
"I'm not bitter at all, because my job is now to support Matt the best I can," said Erwin. "I showed rock, he showed paper, and that was that. Besides, Zimmer-Erwin looks better on our yard signs, so it all worked out for the best."
