Waiting
I lay awake,
waiting.
But for what?
I don't know
Is it for sleep?
No.
Is it for life?
No.
Is it for love?
Perhaps.
Is it for you?
Yes.
I lay awake,
waiting
I'm waiting,
for you.
But you're not here.
9/10/99
Empty Life
How can we Live with this hate?
I tell you I love you and then curse your name.
My brother is a stranger,
My heart is filled with anger
I don't know how to live,
I've got everything but nothing to give.
How do you say,"I'm sorry".
When you're boozed up and full of fury.
I can't explain my actions
I only have reactions
I have everything,
and yet my life is empty
9/10/99
My Little Boy
I look into your eyes,
and what do I see?
It's my own reflection,
staring back at me.
My own baby boy,
smiling back at me.
How is it that me,
still not sure where I am going
Is holding this life?
And how to care for it.
I'm still not knowing.
But I'll try my best
to pass the test.
I'll hold him close,
ever close to my heart.
Until he knows what I know,
and then we'll have to part
9/10/99
War Rages On
War rages on inside me.
It's going on all around me
To my left and to my right,
all they ever do is fight
To the front and to the back
someone is shot and stabbed
I see no peace in this lifetime
Byt then, there's never been peace in our timeline.
Even in the time of Jesus,
People were crying "God, please free us!"
Why can't we love one another,
Call your neighbor your brother.
We say all our problems are gone
But still war rages on.
9/10/99
You
Your grace and beauty
amazes me.
A vision of you,
is all I want to see.
I'll pour my heart and soul,
into your life
Only when we are completely together
can we overcome any strife.
You are the life force.
that runsthrough my veins
All I need is a touch from you
to ease all my pains
To you am I bound to pledge my love,
through the glory of our lord above
My life is for you
and I will always be true
In short, my love...
I Love You!
9/10/99
On The Edge
I'm standing on the edge,
should I stay or should I go?
My life seems like a waste
nothing is all I know.
Where is my life going?
To Heaven or Hell?
When my life is frustrating,
all I do is yell.
Stay away!
I don't want you here!
I don't want to be here.
All I have to do is jump!
Don't tempt me I'll do it!
Back off!
I'll Kill You Too!
I'm Serious!
Leave Me Alone!
Down, Down, Down,
The seconds feel like eons.
Amazing Grace...
How sweet the sound...
I once was lost...
But now I'm found...
And to Hell I am Bound!
9/10/99
Malevolence* (go down)
Staring at the mirror
I hate the reflection
Why am I so horrid?
I want to kill all who looks better!
My God has rejected me!
Nobody loves me!
I'll kill them all!
First, I'll rip off their clothes
Then I'll rip out their eyes with a spoon.
While they're bleeding snot from thir eyes,
or where their eyes should be,
I'll slice out their tounge
After they can't talk,
I'll slice open their stomach!
Then, I'll hang their entrails,
from the roof of my house,
I'll eat their rotting flesh
for the rest of my days
I'm ready to kill!
Everyone will die!
But I'll start with myself!
9/10/99
* The poem Malevolence is not I repeat not promoting violence! Before you get thoughts of distroying people or yourself, keep in mind that I told you so.
