This is my quotes page. Or as you
may know it...Mulderisms and scullyisms. hehe. ok, I like quotes, so I hope you do too.
Later.
Mulder Quotes
"Coke, pepsi, saline IV?" -- Fight the Future
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced." -- Fight the Future
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofutti rice dreamsickles!" - The Unnatural
"I want to believe." -- Conduit
"How can an eight-year-old boy who can barely multiply be a threat to national security? People call me paranoid!" -- Conduit
"Deep Throat said, 'Trust no one'. It's hard, Scully. Suspecting everyone, everything, it wears you down. You even begin to doubt what you know is the truth. Before, I could only trust myself. Now, I can only trust you. And they've taken you away from me." --Little Green Men
"Looks like I'm going to have to tell Skinner that the suspect is a giant bloodsucking worm after all." -- The Host
"If you want to catch a monster, you've got to become one yourself." -- Grotesque
"You're full of crap, Krycek. You're an invertebrate scum-sucker whose moral dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry." -- Tunguska
"Eenie, meenie, chili beanie, the spirits are about to speak?" -- Never Again
"Did you know Elvis bought all the furniture in just 30 minutes?!" -- Never Again
"I have those people's blood on my shirt, Scully, and I was missing for two days. I have no recollection of my actions during those two days. There where two rounds discharged from my gun. I have the keys to this house, the keys to their car. Do the words 'Orenthal James Simpson' mean anything to you?" -- Demons
"Birds to it, bees do it, even educated M.D.s do it."
-- Small Potatoes
"Paramastabatory?" -- How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
"Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? SHAFT! Can ya dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother--Shut your mouth!! I'm talking about Shaft."
--Bad Blood
"I've gone along, been the dutiful son. But maybe this time we can just cut out the Obi-Wan Kenobi crap and you can save me the trouble." -- The Erlenmeyer Flask
"Dreams are answers to questions we haven’t yet figured out how to ask." -- Aubrey
"I could be mistaken. Maybe it was another bald-headed jigsaw-puzzle-tattooed naked guy I saw." -- Humbug
"What do I do? I'm the key figure in an on-going goverment charade, the plot to conceal the truth about the existance of extra terrestrials. It's a global conspiracy actually. With key players in the highest levels of power that reaches down to the lives of every man, woman, and child on this planet. So of course no one believes me. I'm an annoyance to my superiors, a joke to my peers, they call me Spooky. Spooky Mulder, whose sister was abducted by aliens when he was just a kid and now chases after little green men with a badge and a gun shouting to the heavens, or anyone that will listen that the fix is in, that the sky is falling."
-- Fight the Future
"Look, there's no war going on, the world's at peace. There's a little trouble over at our white house, but that'll blow over...so to speak."
-- Triangle
"Excuse me! Could you help me find my dog? He's a Norwegian Elkhound. His name is Heinrich. I use him to hunt Moose." -- Tooms
"Well, I didn't get his name, I was too busy getting my ass kicked." -- Nisei
"How many folktales do you know that could eat a boy scout leader and a biologist?" -- Quagmire
"I love you."
-- Triangle
"Don't touch the red button. Noho on the Roho. 'Kay?" -- Little Green Men
"So you can clear your conscience and your name? You've been making reports on me since the beginning, Scully, taking your LITTLE NOTES!!!" -- Anasazi
"Listen to me, you black lung son of a bitch. I’m gonna expose you AND your project. Your time is OVER." -- Anasazi
"One more anal probing gyro pyro levitating ectoplasm alien-anti matter story and I'm gonna take up my gun and shoot somebody."
-- Patient X
"Woman, get back in here and make me a sandwich! (scully throws gloves at his face) Did I not make myself clear?" -- Arcadia
"I was hoping you could help me solve the mystery of the horny beast."
-- um...
"The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance." -- Irresistable
"I would never lie; I willfully participated in a campaign of misinformation." -- Shadows
"Is this boyish display of agility turning you on at all?" -- Schizogeny
"Did you really think you could call up the devil and ask him to behave?" -- Die Hand Die Verletzt
"Well, pick out something black and sexy and prepare to do some funky poaching." -- Momento Mori
"I think death only looks for you once you seek it's opposite." -- Tithonus
"You know, it's interesting that you should say that, because I've always wanted a peg leg. It's a boyhood thing I never grew out of. No, I'm not being flippant, I mean, I've given this a lot of thought. If you have a peg leg, or hooks for hands, you know, maybe it's enough to simpy carry on living, you know? Bravely facing life with your disability, it's heroic just to survive. But without these things, you're actually expected to make something of your life, achieve somthing, earn a raise, wear a necktie. So, if anything, I'm actually the antithesis of Ahab because if I had a peg leg, I'd quite possibly be more happy, more content, and not feel the need to chase after creatures of the unknown." -- Quagmire
"I made a last ditch effort to get out of it, but the Bureau's holding fast to it's federal employee's vacation policy. I haven't taken a day off in four years, so either I take a week's vacation now, or they start not paying me for eight week's vacation time. I don't like it, but I gotta do it, I gotta pay the rent, I gotta eat." -- Never Again
Scully Quotes
"Mulder, the truth is out there, but so are lies." --E.B.E.
"Mulder, why would alien beings travel light-years to Earth in order to play 'doctor' on cattle?"
-- Eve
"You set us up, you're in on this with Lucas Henry. This was a trap for Mulder because he helped put you away. Well I came here to tell you that is he dies because of what you've done...four days from now no one is going to stop me from being the one who will throw the switch and gas you out of this life for good you son of a bitch!!"
-- Beyond the Sea
"Ok, fine, Mulder. But I'm warning you, if this is monkey pee, you're on your own."
-- The Erlenmeyer Flask
"It begins where it ends ... in nothingness. A nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded. Whispering images unlocked from time and distance. A soul unbound - touched by others but never held. On a course charted by some unseen hand. The journey ahead promising no more than my past reflecting back upon me. Until at last, I reach the end. Facing a truth I can no longer deny. Alone, as ever." -- Emily
"How is it that you're able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you're unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle even when it's right in front of you?"
-- Revelations
"Her name is Bambi?"
-- War of the Coprophages
"Sure, Fine, Whatever."
-- Syzygy
"The truth is in me, and that's where I need to pursue it."
-- Memento Mori
"Your contact--while interesting in the context of science fiction--was, at least in my memory, recounting a poorly veiled synopsis of an episode of 'Rocky and Bullwinkle'."
-- Never Again
"Mulder, if you had to do without your cell phone for two minutes, you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia." -- Home
"Not everything is about you, Mulder."
-- Never Again
"Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower." -- Fire
"You want me to do another autopsy? And why do I have to do it tonight? I just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy all for you. I do it all for you, Mulder. You know, I haven't eaten since six o'clock this morning, and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel. And it wasn't even real cream cheese, it was light cream cheese. And now you want me to run off and do another autopsy?! What the hell happened to you?" -- Bad Blood
"You're in the basement because they're afraid of you, of your relentlessness. And because they know that they could drop you off in the middle of the desert and tell you the truth is out there, and you'd ask them for a shovel." -- Piper Maru
"Mulder, what are these people dying for? Is it for the truth or for the lies?"
-- Max
"If your sister is your aunt and your mother marries your uncle, you'd be your own grandpa."
-- Synchrony
"Did you know that the inventor of the flush toilet was named Thomas Crapper?" -- War of the Coprophages
"This is your Holy Grail, Mulder, not mine...It just means proving to the world the existence of alien life is not my last dying wish."
-- Gethsemane
"One day you look at the person and see more than you did the night before, like a switch has been flicked somewhere and the person who was just a friend is suddenly the only person you can imagine yourself with." -- The Rain King
"Jeremiah was a bullfrog, was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine. Joy to the world. All the boys and girls. Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me."
-- Detour
"I do it all for you Mulder."
-- Bad Blood
"Don’t you see, Mulder? You’re doing their work for them. You’re chasing aliens that aren’t there. Helping them to create a story to cover the shameful truth. And what they can’t cover, they apologize for. Apology has become policy!"
"Don't think! Just pick up that phone and make it happen!" -- Fight the Future
"Mulder, do I detect a hint of scepticism?" -- Beyond the Sea
"It's the dim hope of finding that proof that's kept us in this car, or one very much like it, for more nights than I care to remember. Driving hundreds, if not thousands of miles, through neighborhoods and cities and towns where people are raising families and buying homes and playing with their kids and their dogs, and in short living their lives, while we--we--we just keep driving." -- Dreamland
"For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat. The seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning; the numinous misteries that once seemed so distant and unreal, threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in it's passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden, as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart--look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you, that are you, is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again as a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions. If not for which, I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you, and look at you incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you." -- Momento Mori
"'Baby' me and you'll be peeing through a catheter."
-- Dreamland II
"Shut up, all of you."
-- Dreamland II
"I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly."
-- Dreamland II
"In med school I learned that cancer arrives in the body unannounced. A dark stranger that takes up residence, turning it's new home against itself. This is the evil of cancer. That it starts as an invader but soon becomes one with the invaded, forcing you to destroy it, but only at the risk of destroying yourself. It is science's demon possession; my treatments--science's attempt at excersism. Mulder, I hope that in these terms you might know it, and know me. And except a stranger that so many recognize but cannot ever completely cast out. And if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think that there was the possibility of some secret intervention; something you might have done. And though we've traveled far together, this last distance must, necessarily, be traveled alone." -- Momento Mori
"I'm not going to ask you if you just said what I think you just said because I know it's what you just said."
-- War of the Coprophages
"Mulder! You may not be who you are!" -- Ice
Other People Quotes
"I can kill you whenever I please...but not today."
-- Cigarette Smoking Man
"You think I'm the devil?"
-- Cigarette Smoking Man
"Now, unless you intend to kill me, I'd like to answer my phone." -- Cigarette Smoking Man
"Never underestimate the public's willingness to blame the red man for anything they can't explain." -- Cigarette Smoking Man
"You can kill a man, but you can't kill what he stands for. Not unless you first break his spirit. That's a beautiful thing to see."
-- Cigarette Smoking Man
"Life...is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctoral gift that no one ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So, you're stuck with mostly undefinable whipped mint crap, mindlessly wolfed down when there's nothing else to eat while you're watching the game. Sure, once in a while you get a peanut butter cup or an English toffee but it's gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. In the end, you're left with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth shattering nuts, which if you are desperate enough to eat leaves nothing but an empty box of useless brown paper wrappers." -- Cigarette Smoking Man
"This is where you pucker up and kiss my ass."
-- Skinner
"There are no answers for you, Mr. Mulder. They have only one policy: Deny Everything."
-- Mr. X
"The truth is still out there, but it’s never been more dangerous." -- Mr. X
"It's Frohike, you punk ass. What the hell did you do with Mulder?!"
-- Frohike
"The best way to predict the future is to invent it."
-- Well-Manicured Man
"Kill Mulder, and we take the risk of turning one man's quest into a crusade."
-- Well-Manicured Man
"Not everything dies."
-- Marita Covarrubias
"Always keep your friends close, Mr. McGrath, but keep your enemies closer." -- Deep Throat
Mulder and Scully Quotes
Mulder: "Tell me I’m crazy."
Scully: "Mulder. You’re crazy." -- Deep Throat
Scully: "It smells like... I think it's bile."
Mulder: "Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?" -- Tooms
Mulder: "Who was that on the phone?"
Scully: "A guy."
Mulder: "A guy. Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the other night?"
Scully: "Same guy."
Mulder: "You going to have dinner with him again?"
Scully: "I don't think so."
Mulder: "No interest?"
Scully: "Not at this time."
Mulder: "What are you doing?"
Scully: "Going with you to the Smithsonian."
Mulder: "Don't you have a life, Scully?"
Scully: "Keep it up Mulder and I'll hurt you like that beast woman." -- The Jersey Devil
Mulder: "Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?"
Scully: "I'd settle for a life in this one." -- Shadows
Mulder: "I have to admit, that fulfilled ONE of my boyhood fantasies."
Scully: "Yeah, it ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning how to braid my own hair."
Mulder: "Come on Scully, you have to admit that was exciting. Mission control, the countdown." -- Space
Mulder: "And one girl was just abducted."
Scully: "Kidnapped."
Mulder: "Pa-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe." -- Eve
Scully: "Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room."
Mulder: "No I'm not."
Scully: "Do you have a girl coming over?"
Mulder: "What's a girl? I've got a movie I want to watch on TV. Sleep tight." -- Eve
Scully: "There's something up there, Mulder."
Mulder: "Ooh, I've been saying that for years." -- Genderbender
Mulder: "I think I saw some of these same people at Woodstock."
Scully: "Mulder, you weren't AT Woodstock."
Mulder: "I saw the movie." -- Miracle Man
Mulder: [looking at picture] "Rugged, manly men in the full bloom of manhood."
Scully: "Right, what am I looking for?"
Mulder: "Anything unusual, unlikely, unexplainable... a boyfriend?" -- Darkness Falls
Scully: "Fox..."
Mulder: "I... I even made my parents call me Mulder..."
Scully: "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anybody but you."
Mulder: "If there's an iced tea in that bag, could be love..."
Scully: "Must be fate, Mulder. Root Beer. (Mulder fakes a wounded sound and throws his head back.) You're delirious. Go home and get some sleep." -- Tooms
Mulder: "How was the wedding?"
Scully: "You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?"
Mulder: "Did you catch the bouquet?" -- Roland
Scully: "Mind if I sit here?"
Mulder: "I have to warn you, I’m having violent impulses."
Scully: "I’m armed. I’ll take my chances." -- The Host
Scully: "This was living inside the body. Apparently, it had attached itself to the bile duct and was feeding off the liver."
Mulder: "LOVE-ly."
Scully: "Believe it or not, something like 40 million people are infected worldwide."
Mulder: "This isn’t where you tell me some terrible story about sushi, is it?"
Scully: "Maybe you’d rather hear what you can catch from a nice rare steak."
Mulder: "So...what? The murder weapon was a nice rare sirloin?" -- The Host
(actually, this is Mulder and Frohike, not Scully, but it's hilarious, so...)
Frohike: "So, Mulder, where’s your little partner?"
Mulder: "She wouldn’t come. She’s afraid of her love for you."
Frohike: "She’s tasty."
Mulder: "You know Frohike, it’s men like you that give perversion a bad name." -- Blood
Mulder: "I brought you a present. Superstars of the Superbowls..."
Scully: "I knew there was a reason to live." -- One Breath
Scully: "Good morning."
Mulder: "Whatever tape you found on that VCR, it isn't mine."
Scully: "Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all the other tapes that aren't yours." -- Excelsius Dei
Mulder: "I was told once that the best way to regenerate body heat was to crawl naked inside a sleeping bag with somebody else who's already naked."
Scully: "Well, maybe if it rains sleeping bags, you'll get lucky." -- Detour
Mulder: "What was that?"
Scully: "These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained chiches from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound we get a chill, we-we see a shadow, and allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand. The whole--Mulder...the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying. That, I mean that a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean, that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body-that-that we witness these spirits clad in their own shabby outfits with the same old haircuts and hairstyles, never aging, never-never in search of more comfortable surroundings. It actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead! I mean, Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the-the unconsious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the-the longing for immortality. The hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil, that-that we might never be long without our loved ones. I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what make us human. The very essence of Christmas, actually."
Mulder: "Tell me you're not afraid."
Scully: "All right, I'm afraid. But it's an irrational fear." -- How the Ghosts Stole Christmas
Scully: "I mean, there’s nothing odd about..."
(Toads fall from the sky for about ten seconds.)
Mulder: "So... Lunch?"
Scully: "Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!"
Mulder: "Guess their parachutes didn't open. You were saying something about this place not feeling odd?" -- Die Hand Die Verletzt
Scully: "That’s impossible. It would take a large python hours to consume and weeks to digest a human body."
Mulder: "You really do watch the Learning Channel." -- Die Hand Die Verletzt
(actually, this is between mulder and mr. nut. but, it's too funny!)
Mulder: "Tell me, have you done much circus work in your life?"
Mr Nut: "And what makes you think I've ever spectated a circus? Much less been enslaved by one?"
Mulder: "I know that many of the citizens here are former circus hands, and I just thought that..."
Mr Nut: "You thought that because I am a person of short stature, that the only career I could procure for myself would be one confined to the so-called 'Big Top'. You took one quick look at me, and decided that you could deduce my entire life. Never did it occur to you that a person of my height could have possibly obtained a degree in Hotel Management."
Mulder: "I'm sorry. I meant no offense."
Mr Nut: "Well then why should I take offense? Just because it's human nature to make instantaneous judgements of others based solely upon their physical appearances? Well I've done the same thing to you, for example. I've taken in your all-American features, your dour demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded that you work for the government; an FBI agent... but do you see the tragedy here? I have mistakenly deduced you to a stereotype. A caricature, instead of regarding you as a specific, unique individual."
Mulder: "But I am an FBI agent." -- Humbug
Mulder: "...You see this is a helium balloon here, and the only thing I learned in kindergarten is when you let them go, they float up, up and away. But you see this is moving away from him. Horizontally."
Scully: "Did you learn about *wind* in kindergarten?" -- The Calusari
Scully: "...Nonsensical repetitive behavior is a common trait of mental illness."
Mulder: "You trying to tell me something?" -- Soft Light
Scully: "I just came up with a sick theory."
Mulder: "Oooo, I'm listening!" -- Our Town
Scully: "The tread looks like a standard military boot, men’s, size 8 1/2."
Mulder: "8 1/2? That’s pretty impressive, Scully!"
Scully: "Well, it says so right here on the bottom.
Mulder: "Oh..." -- D.P.O.
Mulder: "Imagine if you could come back and take out 5 people who had caused you to suffer. Who would they be?"
Scully: "I only get 5?"
Mulder: "I remembered your birthday this year, didn't I, Scully?" -- The List
Mulder: "Technically, but whether she knew it or not she was repeating the exact same words spoken by Amy’s abductor at the exact same time 20 miles across town."
Scully: "That's spooky..."
Mulder: "That's my name..." -- Oubliette
Scully: "Mulder, I think the only thing more fortuitous than the emergence of life on this planet, is that through purely random laws of biological evolution an intelligence as complex as ours ever emanated from it. The very idea of intelligent alien life is not only astronomically improbably, but at it's most basic level, downright anti-Darwinian."
Mulder: "Scully, what are you wearing?" -- War of The Coprophages
Mulder: "Bambi also has this theory I've never come across about U.F.O's..."
Scully: "Who?"
Mulder: "Dr. Berenbaum."
Scully: "Her name is Bambi?"
Mulder: "Yeah, both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFO's are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields."
Scully: "Her name is Bambi??" -- War of the Coprophages
(Scully enters with a tray of cheese and wine)
Mulder: "Who cut the cheese?"
Scully: "Since we won't be making it to the conference."
Mulder: "Par-tay!"
Scully: "However, I must remind you this goes against the bureau's policy of male and female agents consorting in the same motel room while on assignment."
Mulder: "Try any of that Tail-Hook crap on me Scully, I'll kick your ass!" -- Detour
Mulder: "Go ahead."
Scully: "No. You go ahead."
Mulder: "No. Be my guest. I know how much you like snapping on the latex." -- Syzygy
Mulder: "Will you let me drive?"
Scully: "I'm driving...Why do you always have to drive? Because you're the guy? Because you're the big macho man?"
Mulder: "No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals." -- Syzygy
Scully: "I just put money in the magic fingers!"
Mulder: "I won't let it go to waste." -- Bad Blood
Mulder: "Dana, if um, early in the four years we've been working together...an event had occured that suggested or somebody told you that...we had been friends together in another lifetime...always...wouldn't that have changed some of the ways we looked at one another?"
Scully: "Even if I knew for certain, I wouldn't change a day...well, maybe that flukeman thing, I could've lived without that just fine." -- The Field Where I Died
Mulder: "Modell psyched the guy out. He put the whammy on him."
Scully: "Please explain to me the scientific nature of 'the whammy'." -- Pusher
Mulder: "So what if they had sex?"
Scully: "So we know that it wasn't an alien that probed her." -- Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'
Scully: "This gift that you gave me for my birthday. You never got to tell me why you gave it to me or what it means... but I think I know. I think that you appreciate that there are extraordinary men and women and extraordinary moments when history leaps forward on the backs of these individuals... that what can be imagined can be achieved... that you must dare to dream... but that there's no substitute for perseverance and hard work... and teamwork... because no one gets there alone... and that, while we commemorate the... the greatness of these events and the individuals who achieve them, we cannot forget the sacrifice of those who make these achievements and leaps possible."
Mulder: "I just thought it was a pretty cool keychain." -- Max
Mulder: "It was wonderful, we just spooned up and fell asleep like little baby cats, isn't that right, honeybunch?"
Scully: "That's right, poopiehead." -- Arcadia
Scully: "Poor Queequeg."
Mulder: "Why did you name your dog Queequeg?"
Scully: "It was the name of the harpoonist in Moby Dick. My father used to read to me from Moby Dick when I was a little girl, I called him Ahab and he called me Starbuck. So I named my dog Queequeg. It's funny, I just realized something."
Mulder: "It's a bizarre name for a dog, huh?"
Scully: "No, how much you're like Ahab. You're so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or mysteries, everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology."
Mulder: "Scully, are you coming on to me?" -- Quagmire
