Ah, yet another lesson from Wolf that we all may benefit from. This actually starts with a daily card pull I did for myself. Every day I request Brother Wolf's guidance in drawing a card that symbolizes the energies I should be on the lookout for during the next day. I pull one card from the Medicine Deck by Sams & Carson and one from the Rider-Waite Tarot deck.
On this particular day, the card I drew from the Medicine Deck was Wild Boar. Boar carries the medicine of facing one's fears, stepping up to meet the challenges within oneself. It is very true that lately I've felt the strange emotion of fear on several levels regarding several situations. Needing clarity I decided to ask Wolf what the card was pertaining to, which situation I should face with impunity.
My meditation began as usual and I met up with him quickly. The difference this time was the sudden change in scenery. The instant we met I found that we were high on a plateau in the desert. I thought perhaps that it was his idea of scene and setting so I asked my question. He looked at me smiled and directed me towards the edge of the plateau. "Leap," was all he said.
I began to shake. Long have I been afraid of heights, one of the few things that truly scare me. Serious vertigo. I have overcome it to a point. I can fight the fear to the point that it is barely noticeable most times, but when I glanced over the edge and saw the height we stood at, I was more afraid than I have been in many years.
"You can't be serious, brother, I can't do that," I told him.
"Of all the cards you could pick, you chose Boar, the strength of staring down the throat of your fiercest enemy...fear. In order for you to overcome your fear completely you must face it with confidence, knowing that you are strong enough."
I backed to the middle of the plateau, shaking and whimpering. I just couldn't face it. How could he ask me to leap from the top of a plateau? Even in the other-world it would be foolhardy.
Wolf walked to me and nuzzled my neck.
"I know you have heard the saying that there is nothing to fear but fear itself, and that fear is the little death. These are not merely words," he rumbled into my ear. "These are the truth of life. If you find the strength within yourself, you have nothing to fear. When you begin to feel fear it destroys your confidence, tearing down your warrior heart. This is why fear is our greatest enemy. Can you face your fear? I tell you, pup, leap. Face it as the warrior you are, and fear nothing."
As he spoke I calmed my nerves, felt the fear flowing out of me. I looked to the edge. Then I ran. At the last instant I felt fear trying to creep back in and I faced it and crushed it. This time I didn't bury it, I merely wiped it out...and I leapt.
I fell for a long time, warring with a new fear. Fear of what lay at the bottom of the fall. Once I overcame that fear and just accepted, deciding to bravely face whatever may come...I began to soar. I flew over the desert and the plateau. For quite a while I continued, reveling in the sensation of flight, of freedom. I circled the plateau and landed, thanking Wolf for his wisdom and left the other-realm.
What this taught me is something we are all aware of intellectually, but never quite think about. Fear is our cage. We can never truly be free unless we are able to face that which we fear and defeat that emotion. Once we overcome our fear, once we challenge ourselves, put ourselves to the task and find the warrior spirit within, we can be free. Free to live life without fear.
Fear and caution are separate issues. We still must take care in certain times, but there is no need to be afraid. Let one word go with you. Anytime you feel frightened or begin to feel that gnawing in the pit of your stomach, think of it, and do exactly as it says. "Leap."
Walk in Light, Hunt in Shadow