we'd like to see...

Work is for people who don't know how to fish.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

All generalizations are false.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

Forget about World Peace...visualize using your turn signal.

We have enough Youth, how about a fountain of Smart?

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

      Change is inevitable...except from a vending machine.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let him sleep.

Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

No radio - Already stolen.

Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

Who stopped payment on my reality check?

Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.

Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.

Warning: Dates on Calendar are closer than they appear.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I don't suffer from insanity -- I enjoy every minute of it.

Your child may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.

I love cats...they taste just like chicken.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

"Hope you enjoyed it, see you later!"