SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE: MISTER ROBINSON'S NEIGHBORHOOD
(featuring Mr. T)

Mister Robinson walks into his rather drab apartment. With the music playing, he begins his song.

MISTER ROBINSON: (singing)
It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood,
A beautiful day for a neighbor.
Would you be mine?
Could you be mine?
I always wanted to live in a house like yours, my friend.
Maybe when there's nobody home, I'll break in!
So, I married a woman, said she was rich.
Spent all her money, walked out on the bitch.
Could you be mine?
Won't you be mine?
Won't you be my neighbor?

Mister Robinson puts on his yellow sweater and begins to put on a pair of gold shoes.

MISTER ROBINSON:
Hello boys and girls. You're probably wondering why Mister Robinson is putting on his glitter shoes. Well, these are rock and roll shoes, boys and girls. And do you know why? Let's look at our word for the day.

Mister Robinson walks over to an easel. Upon it is a poster with SCUMI printed on it in capital letters.

MISTER ROBINSON:
You can't read it, boys and girls, because it's the Soul Train Scramble Board.

Mister Robinson rearranges SCUMI to spell MUSIC. The audience is fairly pleased with this.

MISTER ROBINSON:
That's our word for the day.

Mister Robinson then walks over to a drum set, on which SMOKEY is printed.

MISTER ROBINSON:
See what these are, boys and girls? They're drums. That's a musical instrument, you know. Do you know where drums come from? From Africa. Do you know where these drums come from? Smokey Robinson was at the Apollo Theater. And left his van open in the back of the place. I ripped him off. I wonder how Smokey gonna sound with no percussion. Do you know what drums sound like, boys and girls? Listen.

Mister Robinson proceeds to bang wildly on the drums while singing Survivor's Eye of The Tiger. He continued playing the drums until the telephone rings. Mister Robinson curls his lips inside his mouth to thunderous approval from the Saturday Night Live audience.

MISTER ROBINSON:
That's the telephone, boys and girls! Let's see who it can be!

He walks to the telephone and picks up the phone.

MISTER ROBINSON: (yelling and sounding tough)
Who is it? What? Well, that ain't loud, this is loud!

Mister Robinson blows a whistle into the phone and slams it back down. He turns to the camera and smiles widely.

MISTER ROBINSON:
Now, where were we, boys and girls?

Once again, he begins beating on the drums. This happens until we can hear somebody banging on Robinson's front door. Mister Robinson is momentarily concerned.

MAN OUTSIDE DOOR:
Robinson? Robinson? I know you're in there! Stop beatin' them drums! You hear me?

MISTER ROBINSON:
That's my new neighbor. But don't be scared, boys and girls. I just installed a new lock, he'll never get in here.

Robinson resumes playing the drums. His neighbor breaks through the door and makes his way into Robinson's apartment. Of course, Mister Robinson's neighbor is revealed to be Mister T. T walks down and halts the drumming by grabbing Robinson's neck and choking him.

MISTER T:
Hello, boys and girls. The new word for the day is PAIN. Sing the song.

MISTER ROBINSON: (frightened, singing weakly)
A very happy tomorrow to you.

MISTER T:
Good night, boys and girls.

The sketch ends as Mister T continues choking Mister Robinson.