HELP! I Can't Stand My Kids Anymore!
HELP! I Can't Stand My Kids Anymore!
Burnout, huh? Hmmm... contemplating sending your kids off to the local public school just so you don't have to go through the daily rigamarole of whining, cajholing, threatening, screaming, and the other behaviors that show you and your kids are bringing out the worst in eachother?
Do you end every day feeling that you just cannot do it anymore, even though you still think homeschooling would be the best thing, if your kids would just allow you to do it? Are you so frustrated that you just don't want to be around them at this point?
Please, drop the ruler and back away from the desk, slowly...
Here, take this cup of Tension Tamer Tea ... you sound like you really need a break!
The family, to me, is the very foundation of a successful society, and if the education cancels the family, then things need to be rearranged.
Maybe you have reached the end of your endurance, or maybe you need to find a new way to look at it all, but you *definitely* need a change!
Throwing up your hands and sending them to public school will not *fix* it. Your relationship with your kids will certainly not grow and prosper from that change, and you will most likely end up regretting it. Probably, you don't really want to put your kids in school, anyway, or you wouldn't have started homeschooling to begin with.
It sounds like you, and they, need to have some time to regroup, relax, rethink and renew... things have gotten out of hand, and you recognize that you have lost control. Hey, that's an important step.
You've probably put a lot of effort into setting up a workable plan of how you want things to be... but things never seem to work out according to "the plan".
You start out in a good mood, try to do something special, but the kids don't appreciate that and won't cooperate, and the shining ship of good intentions sinks like a stone. You feel the flush of anger, the muffler/filter thingy that you hope keeps you from sounding like *your* mother goes on the blink real quickly, and you resort to saying things you know you'd ground your kids for. The guilt factor here is simply overwhelming, and you end up beating yourself up emotionally and feeling like a complete failure. Well, you're not!
OK, your motivation is good, what we need to work on is the set up and follow through (yours and theirs).
The first step is going to be (re)establishing the proper hierarchy - You are the Alpha here (you and your DH can work out the details of your own standings later, LOL), they are the children/students/worker-bees/zed-beings. You *do* get to set the rules, and they *do* have to abide by them.
Be sure you set up your plans so that *if* they choose not to cooperate, it is *them* who lose, not you.
I highly recommend a book by Beverly Guhl (sp?) called "Purrrfect Parenting" - really good at helping you maintain a sense of humor while maintaining/regaining control over the kiddos.
I have had to work hard to get to the point where *I* can feel like I am in (almost) total control of myself no matter what they throw at me (figuretively speaking, that is - if they *really* throw something, their little butts are gonna get really tired of sitting on their beds) and I've learned to do the 'broken record' routine - "The rule is that you must do your schoolwork to the teacher's satisfaction (that would be ME), or the television, stereo and computer games are off limits for the rest of the day." (week, month - whatever you can and absolutely will hold them too - IMPORTANT!! - do *not* make idle threats, nor threats that you cannot comfortably fulfill, or you might as well throw in the towel on any real progress and a clear conscience for the duration)
It takes some work to get through it, but I hope you find the strength to try again with a new perspective and a new attitude toward you kids. Hopefully, they will learn to do the same with you.
Take a minute to read the "HELP! I'm ready to quit!!", "HELP! My Kids Just Play!" and some of the other pertinent FAQs listed just to the left here. You may also find the "Getting Started" page helpful, even though you've already been homeschooling for a few years, it may help you look at it through a new perspective.
And remember, no matter what your final decision is, you've put a lot of effort into this, and you deserve some credit for that.
Have a question that isn't addressed here? See the Homeschool Resourses link on the far left, or write to us about it.
This page, all graphics and writing are ©1999 S.A. McUmber-House, Sassafrass Grove Studio - all rights reserved.