"WhOA"

Whistle Obsessive Acquisition Disorder, or Syndrome.

This is a common and often recurring illness that besets most new whistlers at some point in their relationship with whistling. Early onset WhOA is the most identifiable stage. Later stages tend t be more subtle, requiring a deeper observation to ferret out the clues. It can be chronic, and there is no known cure. Most eventually outgrow the condition, though some find it a life-long affliction.

Symptoms:

• a wide-eyed slightly off-focus look that suddenly becomes sharply centered when a whistle, any whistle, comes into view, or is heard somewhere.
• an aching need to own 'just one more' whistle
• an obsession with the idea that 'there is one perfect whistle out there', somewhere.
• an overwhelming desire to try every whistle type, in every available key, by every maker, in every available configuration.
• a 'hole, inside' that can only be filled by more whistles
• stashes of whistles in varied locations throughout the home and office, as well as in the glovebox, or over the visor in the car.

WhOA has many side affects that impact the day to day existence of the suffer.

Marriages can be threatened, as finances dwindle and the precious whistle collection requires more and more space.
It is not uncommon to find stress between partners as more attention is given to the whistle than to the human relationship.
On rare occasions, it has become necessary to acquire new living quarters, either to house the growing whistle poplulation, or to wait out the mood swing of the non-afflicted party, praying that they do not dispose of your collection while you are sharing tenancy with the dog.

Related conditions:

WhOA-B - Whistle Obsessive Acquisition with attendant Whistle Building - the main symptoms of this variation include:

• a sudden ability to envision any tubular object as a whistle 'with just a little work'.
• a tendency to purchase new power tools - specifically lathes, drill presses, and the like.
• a basement room, or garage corner that is crowded with tubing of all descriptions, a wide assortment of files, rotary bits, sanding mediums, and more tubing.
• an inability to discard failed attempts, no matter how inept or damaged, as they be useful later.
• a wide assortment of 'franken-whistles'

FlOA - Flute Obsessive Acquisition
HOA - Harp Obsessive Acquisition