The Fortress of All That is Lazy
This is Britney Spears. Doesn't she look yummy?
Rob Russell is the name, and I recently graduated from Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri. I work for a local school district, and I am around kids all day. My loves in life are going out with friends, frequenting the strip clubs, and I still enjoy thinking about a woman named Angie. When I get the chance, I love watching wrestling, SoapNet, Powerpuff Girls, Toonami, and simply being lazy. If you enjoy any of these, then surely we can be friends.
TheDuke Blue Devils basketball team has ended their 1999-2000 season with a 29-5 record, losing in the region semifinals to national runner-up Florida. Money was lost, but will they win next year? You have to have faith that they will win. Click on the link above and become a Blue Devil!!
Updates from 1998 (and 99' as well as THE YEAR 2000!)
THIS is what Mardi Gras is all about!!
JT2 Is The Man!!!!!
NOVEMBER 12, 2000
Man alive! I have risen from the dead, and I am here to give each and everyone of you readers another fabulous update. Here are some questions to ponder while we wait for Al Gore to become our President:
----Is the grass really greener on the other side (I STILL haven't had this question answered)
----How much more proof do we all need that the Republicans and Bush, Inc. tampered with those Florida votes. Damnit, if I had a shotgun I would kill off that entire clan.
---- Kevin sent me an e-mail a few days ago outlining that the World Wrestling Federation is Pro-Republican. I now hate the WWF, and I have formed a new alliance with World Championship Wrestling. With our combined forces, we wil take down those money-grubbing elephants and rule the world!!!
Here's what happened since we last spoke:
----This past Monday, some jackass hit my car! Hit it in the rear, and I am SUPER-PISSED!!!!!! "Harpo" wasn't feeling too good, and I felt her pain.
----It is almost a guarantee that I will be attending school in January to get my masters in Education. BUT, there is one factor that might cause me not to go back to school: BILLS, BILLS, BILLS. I will not specify the amount that I need to pay back for my student loans, but it is enough to make me think about not going back to school just yet and making some real money. With the car payments and now these student loans, I don't know if I can make it. Maybe I should live out my lifelong dream of selling my body on the streets of Brooklyn, Illinois.
----What's up with the females? Well, I've been getting quite a few numbers in recent weeks, but I haven't acted upon my instincts and given these ladies a call. Some of you are saying, "Why haven't you given these fine honeys a call, Prince of All Blacks?" Well, me and my buddy, Jason Hoffmann, were just talking about this. The problem we feel is that we show unbelievable confidence when just talking with people face to face, but when it comes to girls or callling them on the phone, that is another story. I wish that my co-worker Kelly was available, because she is unbelievably gorgeous & I would ask her out in a heartbeat (no I wouldn't). BTW, I have given myself a month to find myself a girlfriend. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.....DAMNIT JUST KILL ME!!!!!!
----Last nite, me and some friends went to our favorite bar and dance club, Morgan Street. While sipping on Amarettos and chilling with homeboys and homegals, some lady who was having a bridal shower or bridal party decides that she needs to grab on my nicely rounded ass. She did not do it once, not twice, but the whole night she was doing this! It felt nice to be a piece of meat.
I can't think of anything else to write about, so that will be all for now. If you can think of any ideas for me to talk about in the site, just drop me an e-mail to the address listed at the bottom of the page. Satisfaction guaranteed. I'm out.
SEPTEMBER 22,2000
I would just like to take a moment to say..........I love driving my brand-new car! It is a 2000 Mercury Cougar, and it is faster than me and Brooke McQueen in the sack (of course, I can only guess). She reminds me of my old car, Oprah, so my Cougar is now named "Harpo" (that's Oprah spelled backwards). Everyone should have a new car. New cars for all!!!!
The last conversation that I had with someone online, I posted it and I received negative feedback. Well guess what? Here is another conversation. This time, I hold a chat with someone "Straight Outta Compton". Here we go:
TWOghettoGIRLS: hey whats goin on
HeMan8178: Are you REALLY ghetto?
TWOghettoGIRLS: ya
TWOghettoGIRLS: why
HeMan8178: just how ghetto are you, to be exact?
TWOghettoGIRLS: ghetto
TWOghettoGIRLS: enough
HeMan8178: Man that's pretty ghetto. Alright, how old are you, Ghetto?
TWOghettoGIRLS: which one
HeMan8178: Ghetto girl #1, first. Then ghetto girl #2.
TWOghettoGIRLS: 1-18
TWOghettoGIRLS: and #2 is 19
TWOghettoGIRLS: u?
HeMan8178: Age ain't nuthin' but a number. Are you ghetto enough to have reached the magic # of 909 yet?
TWOghettoGIRLS: oh yea
HeMan8178: do you even know what 909 represents?
TWOghettoGIRLS: lol no but it sounded like i did didn't it lol
HeMan8178: well then, you just aren't "ghetto" then, are you?
TWOghettoGIRLS: well what's it mean and maybe i am
HeMan8178: 909 is a 3-digit # that girls use in the 'hood to say how many men they have had "relations" with.
TWOghettoGIRLS: oh that's what i figured it was ........i'm so ghetto.......i just say it
HeMan8178: I'm sure. what hood do you live in? The Watts Projects? Or are you straight from the city? I like dem girls that are from the city. I like em' rough.
TWOghettoGIRLS: lol
TWOghettoGIRLS: im straight from the city
HeMan8178: How you be livin'? You be flossin' with dem platinum teeth, or you just go for the gold winning smile? Platinum is how I like dem on a broad such of your nature. My broad chick should be bling-blingin' from here to the Southside.
AT THIS POINT, YOU CAN SEE THAT THIS CONVERSATION JUST GETS PROGRESSIVELY WORSE. IT WAS AT MY WILL THAT I DECIDE TO ASK STUPID QUESTIONS, AND PROVE THAT "GHETTO GIRL" IS NOTHING BUT A PHONY WHITE GAL.
TWOghettoGIRLS: umm ok my teeth are white and clean
TWOghettoGIRLS: and if that's not ghetto enough for you.........sorry
HeMan8178: But platinum is the way to go these days.
TWOghettoGIRLS: well you can go for that
TWOghettoGIRLS: personally i like white
HeMan8178: Right. Right. Right.
TWOghettoGIRLS: lol
HeMan8178: Where are you "ghetto girls" from?
TWOghettoGIRLS: decatur
HeMan8178: Georgia?
TWOghettoGIRLS: arkansas
HeMan8178: I see.
TWOghettoGIRLS: you see what?
HeMan8178: I see your underpants.
HeMan8178: Pink-laced, right?
TWOghettoGIRLS: ya you know it
TWOghettoGIRLS: for real
TWOghettoGIRLS: lol
HeMan8178: Awww yeah!
TWOghettoGIRLS: yeah
Now we all know that there isn't a single ghetto in Decatur, Arkansas, because Arkansas is full of trailer parks. Those parks contain trailer trash and KKK rallys (is that how the plural form for "rally" is spelled?).
Onto other meaningless news, I still do not have a girlfriend. Although, there is this one gal at work who is hot to trot. Her name is Kelly, and man-o-man, does she have a body on her. She is also very smart and handles kids with loving hands. I hope that she lays those "loving hands" on my "Stinky Twinkie" and we can get it on. I'm just joking (heh heh), but she is a very cool person who I hopefully will get to know alot more about.
Many of my friends are getting married. In the next month and a half, I have to attend 4 weddings. That is alot of cake and free food and bar. I am happy about this. Getting drunk for free is always a good thing.
I hope Kevin, Scott, and John are all having fun in school. Because once you are out, the real world sucks!!!!!! I will speak to all of you fellow Lazy-Asses later. Peace in the Middle East!!!!
AUGUST 26, 2000
Okay. I know that I have not been here in close to 4 months, but many things have happened. I am one year closer to death, I am driving a brand-new car, I have lost my very first job out of college, I have had numerous interviews with potential companies, and I have graduated college (only to discover that I will probably go back in January for another degree). More than anything, I have been flat out lazy. Now I know most are saying, "Big Rob, with all of the things that the master has put you through, when do you even have the chance to be lazy?" I am here to tell you that it is very possible to be lazy. Even when you wish to not be lazy, there is always a way to be.
Please visit the MYSTIQUE MAGAZINE website. It is super-bitchin'. Ta-ta.
Dillon #1
Dillon #2
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Email: heman8178@aol.com
