Elroy Review, interviews Chris Rife

Julius: So tell us about your dairy farm?

rife: the pigs weren't very 
productive yesterday,we had 
to call some women because the swine 
weren't reproducing.

Julius: What is your favorite 
day of the year and why?

rife: physical therapy day, 
because the moose is working,
 the other animal stands there 
and says "You can do it!"

Julius: What would you do if 
trent reznor smashed in your 
room with a bulldozer?

rife: say "hey pig piggy" offer 
him some band-aids, see if i 
could satisfy his appetite 
and whisper "i control you."

julius: what are your views 
on chocolate milk?

rife: hhmmmmmm, chocolate milk.
 i like the brown texture, 
it's so thick as it goes 
down your throat, and cold. 
if we used it correctly we
 could change this century.

julius: have you heard 
about these malfunctioning
 arms, what do you do to combat 

rife: i only let a few of
 my select friends touch the 
secret place on my arm. they 
first rewire my arm, and install a 
new battery.

julius: thanks for talking with 
us today.

rife: next time wait until i
 drink some caffeine.

julius: okay.