COUNTRY BOY HOMEPAGE

The last job I had wasn't all that bad, til the boss quit runnin' cows.

When we gathered in the fall, he sold em all, and replaced em with 50 sows.

He asked would I stay? I said "No way." (hogs are unnatural critters.)

They're noisy and stink and their hides are all pink and their younguns come in liters.

You can't work em horseback and a neck they lack so how would you ever rope one?

Roundups are out, ans without a doubt, to gather hogs you'd need a gun.

so I made myself clear, I was not stayin here, to turn into a SOWboy.

I still have my pride, and I can still ride, and I'll end my years as a COWboy!

He paid me my wage, and I checked my guage, on my rusty old 69 Ford.

Tossed my bedroll in, and with a wide grin, put the metal to the floorboard.

I took my own advice, as to not thinkin twice, about where I'd find my next job.

Long as it's swine free, and there's no one but me, and my good heeler dog, old Bob.

When next I hired on, for an outlaw named John, 'twas a ranch way back in the hills

An Ace Reid sort of place, with plenty of space, and a bunkhouse without any frills.

Here the prickly pear is thick as the hair, on a bearded lady's chin.

And the boulders and rocks cover bottoms and tops, of each craggy draw and rim.

It's rough country to ride, and the man hadn't lied when he told me I'd earn my pay.

Ridin herd on wild cows that live mainly on browse; starvation rations I'd say.

I won't kid you none, it aint what you call fun, spending long days in the saddle,

Where seldom is heard an encouragin word, cause there's nobody out here but cattle.

And varmints ans snakes-the mean kind that makes the rattlin' noise when I ride near,

Causin heartbeat increase, and breathin to cease, and sometimes my pony to rear.

But that big diamondback will end up in the sack on the strings of my saddle.

A whole lot dead and minus his head, he'll become a hatband with a rattle.

"Cause those dudes in town like a hat with a crown tall enough for a wide snake skin band.

And I've earned a twenty, darn easy money, for every snake hide that I've tanned.

What a cowboy gets paid is like a band-aid when yer life bloods seepin away.

It might keep ya alive, but ya barely survive, and aint sure about the next day.

Then I think, what the heck, I get a paycheck and there's some things money can't buy.

A cowboy's life is free, and the only pig I see, Is the breakfast bacon I buy.

"Whuppin Homos"

When he walked through the door I just had to laugh

At his bright red boots and his 12 dollar hat

He walked like John Wayne, and talked like ol' Roy

It was as sure as the sun, he was a big city boy

He bucked up to the bar "barkeep gimme a Zima with a twist"

And I thought I'd puke before I could show him my fist

But I regained my self and tapped on his shoulder

Then gave him a right that lit like a boulder

He dropped to the floor then gave me a smile

He popped back on his feet...hell I liked to died

I knowed I could win cause I was real country

But the next thang I know I had two more fags jump me

Well thats when I knew what I had to do

I reached right on down and pulled a knife from my boot

I carved on them boys til I had em straight

And I live another to see one more gate

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