MEMORIES LOST
by: Chrystal Johnson
A young girl stood in front of a shop, staring at her reflexion in
the glass window. She noticed her auburn hair, and the freckles on her nose.
She looked at her dress, then turned around to look at the bustling street
behind her, she was dressed no different than the other ladies on the street.
Now all she had to do was figure out where she was, what she was doing there,
and who she was. She had this funny feeling she was glad she couldn't remember
what had happened. She turned and headed down the street, hoping that she would
see or hear something that might help her remember who she was. She began to
feel tired so she sat on the wooden bench in front of a shop. She looked up a
few minutes later, to see a handsome young man smiling and waving at her from
across the street. He was a very handsome man, she wondered who he was.
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Andrew smiled and looked both ways before crossing the dirt street. He
stepped up on to the sidewalk and sat down next to the young lady. "Colleen
what are you doing in Boston?" he asked before giving her a quick kiss on the
cheek. He noticed the confused look on her face, and began to frown. "Colleen
what's wrong?" he asked getting worried. "Do I know you?" she asked shaking
her head, a loose curl bouncing with each movement. Andrew helped Colleen
to the conference hall and let them know he had to hurry home for a medical
emergancy and then they left for the train station. After a 2 day ride they
finally arrived in Colorado Springs. Andrew retrieved his bag and ushered
Colleen to Dr. Mike's clinic.
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"Andrew, Colleen, what a pleasant surprise! I didn't expect to see you two home
for a couple more days." Dr. Mike said as Andrew stepped inside the clinic
followed by Colleen. Dr. Mike's smile faded as she looked at Colleen looking
around like she'd never seen the clinic before. "Michaela, I think Colleen has
amnesia." Andrew said glancing back at her. "What makes you think it's
amnesia?" she asked noticing the upset look on Andrew's face. " I found her a
few days ago in Boston in front of a shop. When I sat down beside her, she
asked me if she knew me. She doesn't remember who she is, she doesn't remember
Colorado Springs, she doesn't remember me." he answered with a scared
look on his face. Dr. Mike helped him sit her on the examination table.
Dr.Mike brought over the lantern to check the reaction of her pupil's to light.
"The pupil seems to dialate normally, so there doesn't seem to be perminate
damage. I think it's only temporary. I was reading an article the other day,
from the Boston Medical Journal where a patient had amnesia, and recovered in
a weeks time. It's not uncommon." she said not sure if she added it to reasure
Andrew or herself. "What I don't understand is what was she doing there, and
what caused her to lose her memory to begin with?" Andrew asked confused.
Dr. Mike sat down at her desk, and began thinking. "Did she tell you why
she was going to Boston? I'm sure she would, she wouldn't leave without letting
someone know where she was going, and why." He said turning to look at Dr. Mike.
"She was here the day before she left on the train. She was going to Boston
to find you." Michaela said not wanting to tell anymore. "But why, I would be
home in a few days anyway, what was so important that she had to come find me
to tell me?" He asked confused once again. Dr. Mike thought a while then
decided it was in Colleen's best interest that Andrew knew of his wife's
condition. "Andrew she came in here the day before she left, so I could
confirm her diagnosis. After examining her myself, I confirmed her diagnosis.
She's pregnant." Michaela said wondering if she did the right thing. Andrew's
face brightened with the news, "I'm going to be a father?" he asked. "Yes it
appears that way." Dr. Mike said, she knew she had made the right decision,
Andrew would make sure Colleen took extra care of herself. Andrew thanked
Dr. Mike and took Colleen home.
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Home for the Cook's was a newly built house not far from the chateau. Andrew
was a doctor at the hotel, with Colleen as his partner. She had obtained her
medical degree only a few short months ago, and was planning to start work at
the chateau in a few short weeks. Andrew was looking forward to that, he
couldn't wait to work along side his wife every day. He stopped the carriage
infront of the house and helped Colleen down. He led the horses to the barn and
then took Colleen inside. "Do I live here?" she asked in a small voice as
she looked around. "Yes this is your home. We live here together." he said as
she walked over to the fireplace. She picked up the silver frame holding a black
and white photograph. She touched the picture and turned to look at him, "We're
marriad?" she asked a tear rolling down her cheek. "For about a year now." he
said slowly walking over to where she stood, bathed in late afternoon sunlight,
coming from the bay window directly behind her. "Oh Colleen don't cry." he said
as her brushed the tear away as it made it's way to her jaw line. "I can't
help it. I can't believe I can't remember something as important as being
marriad." she said turning and burring her face in his shoulder. "It's not
your fault, you will remember in time, I'll help you remember." he said sitting
her down on the sofa across from the fireplace. Colleen smoothed out the
wrinkles in her floral print dress. Andrew smiled at least all of his sweet
Colleen wasn't lost. Colleen began to ask questions and one by one Andrew
began to answer them.
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The next morning Colleen insisted on staying home by herself so she could go
through the photo album of there wedding hoping maybe she could remember
something. Andrew had just left for the chateau, when Colleen slowly made her
way down stairs in her dressing gown and bare feet. She crossed over to the
book shelf and pulled the album down. She ran her hand over the leather, it
was new, she could tell the surface hadn't cracked yet and the binding wasn't
creased. She opened it to the first page. The picture was the same as the one
on the mantle. she turned the page to see a picture of them with alot of people.
She remembered the lady beside her from the clinic the day before. Andrew called her
Michaela, and later he told her that she was a doctor, and her adopted mother.
He also told her she was a doctor herself. she turned the page to see more
pictures of people she didn't remember. The last one was of herself and Andrew
on a train smiling at the camera. She looked at the picture, something was familiar about the
picture. She put the book back on the shelf and went back upstairs, she
crossed to the closet and opened the beautiful doors. She saw dresses hanging
up. Then she noticed a box in the top on a shelf. She pulled it down and
carriad it to the bed. She sat down beside the box and took a deep breath. She
removed the lid and pulled a side the sheets of paper. She saw yards of white
lace and satin. She lifted the material out of the box to descover that it was
her wedding dress. She slipped out of her dressing gown and into the gown. She
couldn't do up the buttons herself but she got the idea of what it felt like to
wear it. She stood in front of the floor length mirror and smiled at the
refexion. She turned this way and that, and when she was putting the veil on
she was struck with a series of pictures flashing in her mind. She saw herself
walking towards Andrew, with a preacher standing next to him. Then she saw,
them sitting at a long table with people all around them laughing and smiling.
Then she remembered the train. She blushed, as she remembered Andrew
unbuttoning the small buttons that ran down her back. She slipped out of the
gown and returnded it to the box. She carefully replaced it back on the shelf
and put on a light blue dress from her closet. She went back down stairs and
found food on the table and desided to eat, she remembered Andrew saying
something about her needing to eat. She sat down and ate the eggs, bacon, and
biscuits that were on covered plates in the center of the table. She couldn't
wait for Andrew to return home so she could tell him what she had remembered.
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Around noon Andrew came home. He stopped the buggy outside and climbed
down. He walked up the steps of the front porch and reached for the door knob
when the door flew open and Colleen jumped into his arms. "What's wrong?" he
asked as she hugged him. "I remembered something today. I went through the
album and got out my dress and put it on. I remembered the wedding and our
honeymoon, but that's it, nothing before or after." She said turning a little
sad as she said the last part. "That's great. Your remembering things. "He
said as he kissed her lightly. They went inside and ate lunch and talked before
Andrew had to go back to work. After Andrew left Colleen sat down in the chair
by the fireplace. She noticed a bag to see sewing supplies. She pulled out
white material and lace. She looked at the pattern and realized it was a
Christening Gown. She smiled. Then she wondered 'am I pregnant?' She put her
hand to her flat stomach and wondered. She'd have to remember to ask Michaela
when they went to town.
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A few days pass by before Colleen got her chance to ask Dr. Mike about
her suspicions, or before she remembered anything from her past. She and Andrew
rode into town and as Andrew went to see Horace about supplies he ordered,
Colleen made up an excuse to go see Dr. Mike. As she stepped up onto the
sidewalk outside the clinic she took a deep breath. Colleen knocked quietly and
waited. A few seconds later Dr. Mike opened the door. "Colleen? Is everything
OK? she asked a little surprised to see her there. "Yes. I need to ask you
something." Colleen said walking inside. "What is it?" Dr.Mike asked. "Well
the other day I found a bag of sewing supplies by a chair in the living room. It
had white material and a pattern for a christening gown. I was wondering if I
had mentioned anything about being pregnant before I left?" She asked after
Dr.Mike had shut the door. "Yes . You came in the day before you left, so I
could confirm your suspicions and yes your are. That was why you were in Boston
looking for Andrew, You both wanted children and your couldn't wait to tell
him." She said sitting down behind her desk. "So he still doesn't know?"
Colleen asked. "He knows. I told him when he brought you in the day you
arrived back. I didn't want to but I thought he should know so he could make
sure you took care of yourself for yours and the baby's sake." Dr. Mike said.
Colleen looked down at her flat stomach. She was pregnant, she only hoped she
could remember everything by the time she brought the baby into this world.
When they arrived home Colleen began supper and sat down in her chair. She
opened the bag of supplies and tool out the gown and began working on it.
Andrew had made a quick run to the chateau to drop off the supplies he's
received on the afternoon train. After she finished cutting out the material
from the pattern she put it away and went back over to the book shelf. She'd
seen a small black book of poems the day before and wanted to read a few. She
located the book and opened it. One of the pages was marked with a satin ribbon
. Sonnet 116. Colleen began to read. "Loves not times fool." she read aloud.
"but bears it out, even to the edge of doom." she sat down in a chair and
continued reading " I never writ, no man never loved." She wondered why that
seemed so familiar. She read the last line again and she saw pictures flash in
her mind. She saw a picnic set out, lemonade, cookies, sandwiches, and the book
of poems. She heard Andrew's voice reading to her. It was the last line and
he said it very quickly. She saw herself pick up the book and hold it out to
him. He opened the book and looked at the page, when he opened his mouth to
speak, Colleen smiled and recited his words from memory. "Love knows no time
and place and let's nothing stand in it's way." She said aloud. Her smile
faded when she remembered Patrick Collins and the way he acted towards her. The
way he forced her to kiss him and the rough way he held her arm. Then she saw
him and Andrew fight. She remembered cleaning Andrew's lip and hearing him
confess his love for her. At that moment Colleen heard Andrew stop the buggy
outside.
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She quickly went into the kitchen to check on the food. She was
stirring the stew when she felt Andrew slip his arms around her waist. "Did you
get your supplies put away?" she asked adding more spices to the stew. "Yeah,
I had to see a patient while I was there, Preston insisted on it." he said
before turning to go into the living room. He noticed the book on the chair
where she normally sat. He picked it up and opened it to the marked page. It
was the Sonnet he read to her almost a year before. He placed it back on the
shelf and smiled as Colleen brought out the stew. Andrew went to help with the
other items, and then sat down. Colleen cleared her throat as she sat down.
" I read some of the poems in the book on the shelf. Sonnet 116 sounded very
familiar." she said spreading her napkin out on her lap. " Did you remember
anything?" he asked before taking a bite of one of his rolls. "Yeah I did, I
remember you reading it to me at a picnic. I also remember you rushing through
the last line of it. I can still remember you paraphrasing it for me." she
said smiling across the table at him. " That's great." he said as he returned
the smile. "That's not all. I also remember Patrick Collins. You two fighting
outside the chateau and me taking care of your lip and you confessing to me that
you loved me." she said looking down at her plate. " That's wonderful, you're
beginning to remember alot." he said taking a drink of coffee. After supper
they went outside for a walk. "Andrew I talked with Dr.Mike today. She told me
something interesting." she said not knowing exactly how to tell him. " She
did? What did she say?" he asked. "Well I found something the other day and it
got me to thinking. So I asked her about it.Andrew she told me I was pregnant."
she said finally giving in and just telling him. "She said she had told you
when we came home from Boston. Why didn't you tell me?" she asked. " I don't
know. For one thing I was still shocked about it myself, I was waiting to see
if you'd remember that on your own. Forgive me for not telling you sooner
Colleen, I'm sorry." he said looking at her face in the moonlight. "It's OK
Andrew, I think I understand, I don't think I could have handled all that
information at once any way." she said searching for his hand in the darkness.
They finished their walk hand in hand.
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Weeks past by without anything else triggering any more memories for
Colleen. Everyone went on treating her as they normally would on Dr. Mike's
and Andrew's request. They hoped that if everything was normal, she might
remember something. Colleen went with Andrew to the chateau during the day, or
she would sometimes go stay in town with Dr.Mike. Colleen was staying with
Dr. Mike one day when she helped her with a young boy from the school that has
fell down playing softball. The boy needed stitches and Dr. Mike asked Colleen
to clean his hand while she gathered all the necessary equipement. Colleen
smiled warmly at the boy as she got a cloth and alcohol to disinfect the area
around the gash. Her hand accidentally brushed the boys sleeve and got mud on
her hand. She looked down at the spot covering the back of her hand. All of
the sudden she remembered when she and Andrew had first met. The first time
they had ever seen each other was right outside Dr. Mikes clinic. Colleen was
returning from an errand and Andrew with his bag was in a mud puddle. Colleen
graciously offered him her hand to help him up. Right then and there she
realized he was the one she was ment to be with. Colleen smiled and finished
cleaning off the boys hand just as Dr. Mike came back in. When she was finished
stitching his hand, Colleen watched as the boy and his classmate walked back to
the school. She glanced to her right and saw the spot where she had seen Andrew
sitting. She smiled again and went back inside. She walked over to the cabnit
where the wash basin sat a stuck her hands into the water. The water was ice
cold. Colleen withdrew her hands in shock. The coldness of the water caused
her to remember when she was younger and wanted Sully to see her as more than a
friend. She left a note telling him she was trapped in a cave. She remembered
getting really cold and wondering where Sully was. He was supposed to save her
just like the hero did in the book she had read all the way from Denver. She
ended up getting frostbitten from the extreme cold and nearly losing her fingers
and toes. Colleen looked down at her wet fingers and wondered how getting her
hands wet could cause her to remember that. She turned to go tell Dr. Mike she
had remembered something else, she opened the door to the recovery rooms
upstairs. She put one foot on the first step and began to climb. She got to
about the third step when she was hit with a wave of dizziness and began to
fall backwards. She threw her arms out to catch herself but was unable to
until she hit the floor. She landed on the floor hitting her head. She lay
there for afew minutes until Dr. Mike rushed to the top of the stairs to see
what had made the noise.
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Dr Mike got to the top of the stairs to see Colleen laying at the bottom
of them. She climbed down and knelt beside her. She tried to wake her by
gently shaking her and calling her name. Colleen opened her eyes and winced at the
sharp pain shooting through her wrist and the throbbing pain in the back of her
head. Dr. Mike helped her sit up on the examination table so she could asses
the damage caused by the fall. She concluded that Colleen had sustained a
sprained wrist and some bruises. Nothing serious. Colleen sat there for a few
minutes "What about the baby? Is it all right?" She asked. "I'm not sure, but
you didn't fall very far, so I don't think it's hurt." Dr. Mike said helping
her down. Colleen gently slid from the table, and touched her hand to the back
of her head. " Ma, do you still have the pattern for Katie's christening gown?
I want to use it for ideas for the embroidary on mine." Colleen said
straightening her skirt. "Yeah, I saved it, it's in a box........" Michaela
began stopping in mid sentence. "Do you remember when she was christened?"
Dr. Mike began. "Yeah, everyone was surprised when you and Sully chose Robert E
and Grace as her god parents." Colleen said smiling. "Yeah." Dr. Mike said
absently. "I remember when we used to tell you that you were never going to
have the gown done by the time Katie arrived, because you were so busy and
didn't have time to work on it." Colleen continued. "Colleen do you remember
anything else from before Katie was born?" Dr. Mike asked. "Of course why
wouldn't I?" Colleen asked. Dr. Mike smiled. "I really need to start setting
up practice at the chateau soon or Preston's going to be mad. I don't know why
I haven't already." Colleen added. "So you remember everything?"Dr. Mike asked.
"Why shouldn't I? I didn't hit my head that hard. Actually I don't remember
telling Andrew about the baby, or even being in Boston." she said looking
confused.
MORE TO COME SOON!!!!!
Email: andrewcolleen@angelfire.com