Alright-
OK, this next one was awhile ago, but it's still funny- (Or maybe only to me and Rob) Ok. I was walkin around town with a friend of mine from Perham, Rob Marks (I'll bet you don't know him but if you do good for you) and i think we was walkin to Holiday store for something. Anyway we was walkin by the post office and they just got done redoin all the sidewalk for the whole uptown- well they had those little fency things in and trees planed in the sidewalk. And on them there was a little outlet deal- Well Rob just had to stop and screw with it and I was standin there watchin him when this old dude- (I don't know hiis name but if you do good for you) he comes up and he says Hey- Waddya doing? Rob just looks up and in an innocent voice, we're not doing anything. The guy goes Ya Ya aww, Ya messin around, with that... electrical box. As the guy's walkin into the post office I say actually I think its called an outlet. We start walkin and the the guy turns around and says waddya say? Rob says Waddya talkin bout? and we walk away laughin our asses off-
Alright there was this time we got out of school early cos of the snow, and we were on the bus, it was Heather, Amanda, Brandon, Brooke and I. Anyway... we were talkin about building a really big snowman at Heather's and I'm like 'oh yeah it's gonna kick ass and it's gonna be like 15 feet tall'. Brandon is sitting back, way down in his seat, and he adds, 'Yeah, Wilson you've probably got some big equipment to build snowmen'. Amanda is like 'Wot? Build a snowman with big equipment?' Build a snowman with big equipment- So we laugh our asses off for like 15 minutes, but Brandon, he's sitting way down in his seat with no clue what's going on or what we're laughing about but he's laughing with us anyway- ahh... frickin a, Satre...
Alright- This is a 'Wilson Story' (right mike?)
We was at valley fair for band, and sean won a ball from one of those guess your weight people so in the parking lot after we were waiting for the bus to leave him and brett were playing catch and brett throws it up in the tree so sean's all pissed off and he climbs up there to get it- so it's like 10 o'clock, sean's climbing up a tree and swearing really loud, and there was like 10-15 sitting on top of a trialer... traler... tra- fricken whatever- and they're all lookin at us all weird so I yell out 'he's really drunk!' then he gets down and we watch the fireworks for a little bit then he's like yelliin all loud and he goes 'oh man i don't feel so good' then he stumbles around a little then he's like oh! my liver! so he slowly falls to the ground 'Oh my god! I'm dying!' He falls on his face and starts shakin then when he stops i roll him over and kneel down by him and i yell out like all 'WHY! Oh- why did he have to die? Why did it have to happen like this?!' and brett and eric are laughin their asses off and so are the dudes that were lookin at us
A'ight one day after school we was walkin around and we foundt his christmas tree by the side of the road so we puick it up and take it with us. then we go to kyle's for awhile and then we go back outsice and we drag the tree over to the bridge and we throw it off the bridge then there's some dude in some kinda environmental angency truck and he honks real loud and he's like all whoa- throwing a christmas tree off of a bridge- that's big no-no. And we're all like uh, alright we'll go get it then. Then the dude's like all no you can just leave it down there, but don't do it again.
Alright- One day I was at Eric's house i think, and cody was there and we went up kinda by the trailor park there and we climb up that ledge, but of course eric had to go around. Well then we saw Nick Edwards and he's like all 'Hey wait for me' And I say Alright- cuz I'm Wilson. So then he goes to drop his bike off somewhere and we leave. We walk back a little bit and Cody sees this big hole so he puts his hand down in and his hand starts to get pulled in by something. I jump up and i'm all like 'Blimey! There must be some kind of blinkin animal in that bloody hole!' I said in my british likeness. Cody gets up and starts laughin, and with his obscenity filled American launguage antics says ha ha wilson you fucker i was fucking joking about that fucking fuckin fucked up hole fucking thing haha holy fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Then about that time Eric comes running up huffing and puffing up to us with his obese american antics. Well, we walk around for a little bit and go back to the river and walk along some houses. Then the road ends so we have to go back through a buncha bushes and real prickly stuff. Then somehow we got to talking about STD's contracted from animals by people like eric and their bestiality american antics. Then Eric, with his ignorant American antics, somehow thought the scratches on his legs from the prickly stuff was gonna get him some STD from monkey semen on blueberry's. (sigh) Then for awhile we walk along with nothing happening and we walk and walk some more. Then we come across some place by the river that Cody nor Eric, with their lack of outdoor expirience antics can't decide how to get any farther. Then I proclaim, 'Young sirs, It seems you are in question of how this area of land shall be crossed'. Then we decided to use some easy american way out american antics and we went down by the river and walked. Then we walked some more. Through trees, dried river spots, trails and everything imaginable by the human mind. Then we come up to the NSP plant. There was a big fence around it with barbed wire and everything. But we noticed a little drain off for water provided ample space for a human body to crawl under the fence. Of couse, Eric, with his non-risk taking american antics declined to go under but Cody, with his peer pressuring american antics, persuaded him to go. So we went under, and we walked around and looked at all the generators and wires and what. Then Eric yelled out, Oh my god there's a truck. And Eric And Cody, with their paranoid American antics, both go runnin off in the other direction, and i'm like all hey where are you going? But they run off and i hafta go after them. We go back up to the plant and look inside, but don't go in, for we cannot utilize our resources to break in. So we screw around outside of it and in the picnic area for when people used to work there. Then we go back up the other entrance, hop over the fence, and there's some black thing stickin out of the ground. So we're lookin at it and messin around with it (No, it wasn't an 'electrical box' but cody, with his paranoid and foul mouthed american antics figures out, 'Holy fuck! That a fuckin alarm fuckin lets get the fuck hell outta this fuckin place we're fuckin screw lets fuckin go. Fuck fuck fuck. So Eric and Cody run off and I run after them. By the time they get done running we were right under Skyline by the big train that hasn't moved for a long time. So we're like right by Barden's house so we go up, but on the way I find a tire on the hill, so what do I do? I roll it down the hill onto the road, of course. (What else would I logically do?) So they roll it down and it almost hits a car. The car slams on the brakes to avoid hitting it and honks several times in succession. What do Cody and Eric do? (If you don't know you haven't been reading carefully) They run off with their paranoid american antics. And what do I do? (duh) I run after them all the way up to barden's house.
Whoa-
OK I guess everyone knows about it so I don't know why I'm writing this. Ok I was just sittin in science class working hard with Mike Barden. And then after I get done doing all the work myself I have to wait for Mike to wake up from his nap and copy my answers. So I'm just dinkin around and I had this wire comin off the end of my notebook. So I put it in the electric socket deal. And I'm like all aww- I'm getting electrocuted. Then Mike's like hey put two of em in there. See what happens. So I bend the wire thing into a plug-in type shape and I'm like aww- nothin'll happen. Then I shove it in there and there's first a little SNAP then it CRACKLEs a little then POP! The little wire thing like blew up and sends me flyin back off my stool and then when I wake up I'm like whoa- I'm sittin on the floor and when I stand up there's like glass everywhere and everyone's laughin their ass off. I clean up the glass and the bell rings so I get the hell outta there. Nobody knew i put the wire thing in there except Mike until like 5 minutes later- then everyone knew. UPADTE: In December then James did the same thing except with a pen clip. He shorted out Gunderson's computer and got suspended- It's nice to know I have such a positive influence over people.
We was at Valleyfair for band. And me an Tyler was play mini-golf and I was gettin my usual 7 strokes per hole and worse- Well there was this one hole and ya had to hit it down this big ol hill down to the green- Well I decided I would just hit it down the stairs but it went way over hell and it took 6 strokes just to get it to the green- Yeah I was like really pissed and then to help I couldn't hit the fricken hole. Well when I was at like 14 or so O got really pissed and (well it might help to tell you that whenever I'm not doin so well in a game with a stick, baseball, hockey etc... beating a nice hole in the ground helps a little.) Well I hit the ground with the putter and guess what- The fricken thing broke- I thought oh, no this is real neat. Now what the hell am I gonna do? Yeah then i tried to crank the head back on the shaft but it was broke right where it connects so when I couldn't get it back on I though, Well, I guess I'm about screwed now- Well I finished the hole with the head of the club (a 17 for your info) and i did the same with the next hole. Then it came to the last one and I didn't know what to do- So I threw the deal in the bushes and ran off- The End.
Alright- this one was awhile ago too-
We was in KFC orderin food and this old guy (yeah old people are good for funny stories) he walks up to the counter- he was eatin in the buffet- he says We need some more bunnzzz over here- and they lady goes Huh? oh, Hey Earl! Put some more buscuits in the buffet! I walk right out the door and start laughin my ass off-
Alrighty then-
This happened in 6th grade when I was livin in Perham. (Sorry, it doesn't involve old people) Well I was at a friends house and he was havin a little party in his camper. And i don't know we was doin something stupid (SUPRISE!) and I was laughin my ass of (SUPRISE) and i was kinda rollin on the floor laughin so hard I couldn't even breathe. And everyone else thought that was so funny and they started laughin too which made me laugh even harder- (huh?) Well i was rollin around laughin when all of a sudden I stop, get up, step right outside the dorr and start pukin- Yes, I laughed so hard I puked. When I was done with that, I went over to the fridge and got a pop to rinse out my mouth. Then I sit down and we all stare at each other for a minute and everyone starts laughin again. HAHAHA! (puke)
OK- I think this one happened the day after the above mentioned incedent
The day after the party I was stayin at Wade's place- (I think I was there the whole weekend) but that night we went fishin but the only thing we caught was a little rock bass (I's the one who caught it) then later that night we was back at his place and we was just sittin there with this little fish- I don't know why we kept it but... anyway, Wade just happened to really hate his neighbor across and down the alley a little bit so we got this bright idea and put the fricken fish in the kid's car at like 3. After that was all said and done, we went runnin back to his place laughin. The next day Joey, the kid who owned the car, he comes knockin on the door wakin us up at like 9:30- He says Justin, Wade... We say what- and he says why did you guys put a fish in my car? We're standin there lookin at each other like Oh, shit. Then after a minute or so Wade says- how did you know it was us? Then Joey says Well, your thie only one dumb enough to think of something like that, And you're the only one I know crazy enough to actually do it. He wasn't even all to pissed- El Endo
Alright this one isn't real. It's a made up one and only a few people (Sean and Gussy) think it's funny (=
One day there was a bulldog-
His name was bulldog. he was walkin down the street. Chillin with his homie Dan. Bull Dog says, Hey Dan watcha wanna do? Dan says, I don't know. Bull Dog says Hey I have an idea lets go into this gun store and buy some guns. Dan says ok. So Bull Dog and Dan walk into the gun store and buy a buncha guns- They walk out of there and Bull Dog says hey Dan watcha wanna do with all these guns? Dan says I don't know. Bull Dog says hey I have an idea. Lets go kill my girlfriend Bitch Lady- Dan says ok so they go to Bitch Ladies house and shoot her in the head-
The end???
(Yawn) Well I's gettin kinda tired. So I'll put more of my real-life amusement up later a'ight? Well, now that you know what I've been through maybe you'll have a better understanding of why I turned out how I turned out- LOL =)