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How I Personally Feel About Bullying

Bullying makes me SO ANGRY, I can’t even begin to describe how angry I get. It doesn’t just scar us for life, IT IS KILLING US, IT IS KILLING OUR CHILDREN!! I was bullied in school and also teased. I had a knife to my throat while 5 guys tried to rape me. They kicked me and knocked me down into a shallow creek on the hard rock that lay there over and over again. They were laughing. Laughing!!! They did use the knife to cut off my top, but they did not succeed in raping me. Someone came and saved, possibly my life, just in time. I was in High School. I told no one because I was scared. One thing you’ll find out about me is I don’t keep anything in, my life is an open book and I’m not afraid to share it. One other thing you will find out is how passionate I am regarding mental illness which involves; Self Injury, Eating Disorders, Depression and SO much more! I did not sit in front of my computer for three years because I had nothing to do! I sat there because I wanted to help those who needed someone to listen. I did this for free because it is my calling, my passion, and God is working through me. For that I have to say, Thank You God!

Then….I had children….

Two of my children were teased at school and would come home crying. This was in Elementary School!!!! I went directly to the Principal on all occasions and told him this had to STOP!! For one of my children it did, for the other, it didn’t, wouldn’t and couldn’t because my child was teased EVERYWHERE….walking the halls, eating lunch, out on recess, and in classrooms. There were too many places and too many kids who were involved. The Principal said he would take care of it. What?? How in the world was he going to take care of it? Was he going to follow my child the entire time my child was at school? Of course not!! There were too many kids teasing him! I took my child out of school and insisted they tutor my child at home for the rest of the school year. And they did.

There were even instances where my children where bullied or in this case abused, at home by their “friends.” One girl, who lived next door and at least 5 years older, slapped my 8 year old daughter for no reason! My daughter reluctantly told me and did not want me to say anything, but unfortunately, my mouth won’t stay shut when I hear something like that! I went next door and spoke to this person face to face and I mean face to face!! I told her “if you EVER touch one of my children again I will call the police.” She said it was an accident. Slapping my child in the face is NOT an accident! I was at the same time concerned about this girl and her younger sister. Their father would only call them “IDIOT!!” (never by their name) all the time. I would hear it all the time outside and it made my blood boil. I can only pray that they did not grow up into an adult thinking they were an idiot and feeling worthless because parents like him destroy you and your self esteem. I remember asking the mom about it, but she just blew it off like it was no big deal. Those are two screwed up adults. And they are two of thousands if not millions of screwed up adults raising children who deserve SO much more.

One of my children suffers from depression, anxiety and a horrible medical issue that doesn’t fix itself with a pill or a shot so you are back to “normal” in a week. My children DID NOT bully anyone to my knowledge and if they had, there would have been some tough consequences!

My anger regarding bullying is so strong I can honestly feel my blood pressure go up! I’d love to walk the halls of schools and face anyone who decides they are “better” than someone else. Everyone is EQUAL!!! Everyone is also UNIQUE in their own way. Never do I judge anyone for any reason unless I see them hurting someone else. Verbally, physically or sexually, every single word or touch goes into your mind and it stays there. It stays there until you can’t take it anymore. I met a young man of 18 whose father, a minister, sexually abused him for 2 years when he was 11 and 12 years old. I met him through my website when he introduced himself on my message boards. He was intelligent, polite, and wise beyond his years. We grew a strong bond that I never thought would end. At the age of 21 this beautiful soul decided he could not live with the pain, the visions, wetting the bed, hating his image in the mirror, struggling with his sexuality and so much more. I will always grieve for him, the grieving doesn’t go away. He lived in another state and now I wish I would have tried to find him and stopped him from doing the unthinkable. He was a very private person and would never give me his address. Trust was huge for him, but he trusted me online and even called me mom. I was honored to be his “online” mom. I cannot imagine how the little boy inside him cried out to this now 18 year old adult. Even though I never physically met him, he was a real human being and I have pictures of him including one in a frame in my room. Never will I forget him.

It does not matter what race, sexual orientation or disability you may have….EVERY PERSON ON THIS EARTH DESERVES TO BE TREATED WITH THE UTMOST RESPECT!!!!! If you don’t like something about someone, it’s time to shut your mouth!! In fact when I start walking the halls of your schools or if I hear you in public say something disrespectful, I promise you I will speak up! You can count on me approaching you and your ignorance!!

Then there is the Internet and Cell Phones! How DARE anyone do ANYTHING to hurt another to the point they commit suicide!!! How dare they hurt anyone PERIOD!!

Where are your parents? I’d love to talk to them!! Do they know what a bully you are? Do they know you were the reason somebody has died because of what YOU did or said??!! I do know bullies need help as well. They have been damaged in some way and are now taking it out on others. So for the bullies, again I ask where are your parents?? I’d love to talk to them.

So parents, where in the hell are you because you’re really starting to piss me off!!!!! Too busy perhaps? Drinking a little too much? Fighting with your spouse? Not enough money to pay the bills? YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS???? IS YOUR CHILD A BULLY? DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CLUE IF THEY ARE?? OR DO YOU SIMPLY NOT CARE!!!?? One more question I should be asking all parents, ARE YOU A BULLY???!!!! What would YOU do if you came home to find YOUR child hanging in their closet or lying slumped over from a bullet that came from his or her own hands?

I had coffee one day with a mom whose son shot himself in the head. She found him dead at his computer. Do you know the school her son had attended refused to talk about his death or even put some sort of memorial in the school yearbook??!! Talking about depression and suicide does NOT make anyone go and do it!!!!! All this mom was left with was good memories of her son until she saw him slumped over dead! Her memories were changed forever and the high school would not even give her the respect by giving this young teen a place in the yearbook or a poster on the wall, a poster for all to see how suddenly your life can be over because teens in that school made fun of him!!!! This lovely mom wanted to volunteer for me but the pain was too new and too much for her to bear. Does the pain ever get old or go away? NO. She told me the story of her son's suicide in detail and it brought me to tears. Her son was a “nerd.” A nerd!! Another stupid ass label for someone who takes school seriously!! This woman I had coffee with, moved away because of her divorce from her husband...because they fought and wanted their son back!!!!

Schools do need to have a very strict policy against bullying, but the teachers are not there to BABYSIT your kids who are out of control! Every Principal has to step up!! What are the Principals and School Boards doing about this epidemic of kids killing themselves? I’d love to know if they ever even talk about it. The second leading cause of death for teens…what does that say to anyone. For LGBT Youth the rate is higher!!! I pray to God anybody who decides to “come out” and admit their sexuality because they are tired of living a lie, live quietly and peacefully in doing so. If you are gay or a lesbian or whatever your sexuality is, stay strong and email me!!! PLEASE!!! Or find someone who will listen to you if you are getting depressed or someone is treating you wrong. I am always only an email away!!! I know there are good people out there who are trying to fight for you!!!

The last thing I’d like to say is Depression is REAL!! It is an illness!! Just think for a moment what the possibilities are for someone who is being bullied and has depression!! It’s a lethal combination!! Every shooting at every school stems back to being bullied or teased!! OUR CHILDREN CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!! I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!! ANYONE WHO “GETS IT” CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Stay safe and stay alive! Love, Julie