Story #1:
So, I'm getting my coat on, and my shoes, and after making sure that my wallet and cell phone are connected in some form to my pants, I head out the door. Now, I always lock my door and so when I went to reach for my keys, I saw that they weren't in my pockets. Hmm... that's strange, I could have sworn I grabbed them. Oh well, back inside.
So, I walk back into my apartment and I go to my room. They're not there, so I go to the livingroom. They're not there either. I go to the kitchen, nada. Hmmm... where the hell could they be? Right about then, out of habit mostly, I started to twirl my keys around my finger. Holy CRAP!!! They're they are! They were in my freakin HAND the whole time! Good one Big Daddy, you were really on top of that one weren't ya. I laughed at myself for quite a long time for that one. Not many people can search for their keys for a whole minute only to find them in their hands. Pretty good, eh folks?
Story #2:
I don't know if this is really a story of me being stupid, but more of me being WAY out of it. I was really tired one evening and so I went to bed and slept for awhile. Of course a dream came to me, and I must say it was pretty stupid. In my dream I was laying in bed, just like I was for real. In my dream though, for some odd reason, the walls against the head of the bed were supposed to come crashing down and I was needed to move.
It was about this time that I came semiconscious. I knew that I was pretty much dreaming, and that I was kinda waking up. Did that stop me from dreaming? Nope. Did that stop me from sitting up, wrapping the blankets around me and walking towards the door to get out of the way of the falling walls? NOPE! Stupid stupid stupid!
When I was half way to the door, I pretty much realized that I had been dreaming and that I didn't need to go into the livingroom to sleep. So, I crawled back into bed, and started to mentally kick myself in the ass for being stupid. What I find really amusing is the fact that even though I knew I was dreaming, and I knew that the walls weren't really going to come down on top of me, I still remained unconvinced. Of course, the key incident came to mind and I just started to laugh at how stupid I was getting. Not too many people can lose a whole key chain in their hand, and then get kicked out of their own bedroom by one of their own dreams in the same week. Only me.
Story #3
Now, don't get me wrong, I found the exact place I needed to be without a problem, it was just finishing the journey that took a little time. I'll explain...
The directions that I was suppose to take said that I should go up this hill by her college, and at the big sign with her school name, take a right. Ok, no problem, that was solved. I was then suppose to make the first left into the parking lot and that I would see the sign that had her dorm name on it.
So, I'm driving a block or so, and hey, there's the dorm. Hey, there's the first left. Okie dokie, I'm making the left and going up this driveway. Obviously the parking lot she was talking about is in the back.
When I get towards the back, do you think there was a freakin parking lot back there? NO! I ended up on the freakin SIDEWALK!
So, there I am, a moron in his car taking a little tour of the campus, on the SIDEWALK, driving this way, dodging this building, missing that student, and trying to find a freakin road or parking lot that I can get on so I'm not on this stupid sidewalk anymore. Finally I see one.
So, jumping a curd, going between two parked cars with about 6 inches of room left between them and me, going down about 4 roads I didn't know, making a wrong turn, correcting myself, and then hitting the SECOND left, did I make it to my destination. Is my story over yet? NOPE! Never!
Since AT&T decided to disconnect my phone on that particular day, I had to find a phone to let my friend know that I was there. So, I walked to what looked like a popular building, mostly because it was the cafiteria, and looked for a pay-phone. Did I find one on my first pass? NOPE! Of course not, that would have just been too easy.
I walked back to my car to hopefully wait for my friend and hope that she will just come outside to wait for me and I can find her that way. I see a mailbox and I think about the bills that are sitting in my car waiting to be mailed and I figure that this is the perfect time to send them out. So, I look all through my car and can't find them. I know they're there and I don't think someone is going to pass up my CDs, pool cue, and CD deck, and steal my bills. There's just not someone THAT stupid in this country, or if there is, they're in palm beach, not St. Peter.
Figuring I'd find them later, I make another go at finding a pay phone. This time I finally find it in the basement of the building I ventured through earlier. Of course, with all my running around, getting lost, walking to and from my car twice, I made the call right on time. About 2 minutes early I might add! I let my friend know that I was there and that I was downstairs and when I got back to my car, I decided I would try and find my bills again. I'm looking and looking, and all of a sudden a thought entered my head. So, I took the bills out of the pocket that they were in the whole time and mailed them. Nice job again Big Daddy, another story to keep from the grandkids. Time to make up another war hero story. So far, I was in Vietnam, WWII, Desert Storm, and was an eye witness in the OJ trial.
There I was, trying to get ready for work and doing a pretty good job of it. I took my shower, combed my hair, got my clothes on, and did all the nessacary things that a man would need to do.
A few days before Thanksgiving, I was to go and pick up one of my friends from college in a town that was about 2 hours away from me. That was really no problem, since I love to drive. The directions were direct and simple and I knew I wouldn't have a problem finding where I was suppose to go. As usual though, I was wrong.