This week, my rant isn't really going to be a rant, but more of an observation that I've noticed this past week, and that observation is this: When confronted with an uncomfortable site or situation, men always look straight up!
I'll give you an example. This past week I was playing pool with my pal Speedy. I was having a good time, kicking his ass, introducing myself to my future co-workers and such stuff. On the table next to us there were two guys and two ladies. Now these ladies were very attractive and I'm sure God had a big laugh putting them next to us, but they were there. Anyways, it was Speedy's shot and as he was making his way around the table to get to the cue ball he noticed just in time that one of the ladies was shooting, so he quick spun around to make sure he was right and to get out of her way and what was right in front of him? Of course, her arse was! So, like ANY guy would do, not to be a pervert, not just to get a cheap thrill, but just because our eyes give us no choice, BAM, the eyes were glued on that arse for a second or two, and then, like every other time this ever happens to any guy who basically has to stay there for a few more moments, BOOM the eyes shoot to the ceiling and don't come down until he can move again.
Why do men do that? Of course it's because we're embarrassed and we don't want to have one, or both, of two things happen to us. One: Get branded as a pervert and made so you'll never get a date, and/or two: get slapped in the face for looking too long, or beat up by the boyfriend. Neither is a good thing, let me tell ya. It's one of those "Oh SHIT!" and then BAM your eyes are anywhere but where they were.
I do that sort of thing, Speedy does that sort of thing, and all freakin men do that sort of thing. Don't deny it, you know it's true. It's not even a conscious thing either! It's like an involuntary reaction. Pretty funny though if you're actually looking at the person doing it. If you don't, all you see if the eyes looking at the ceiling and not knowing why.
The other thing that I've noticed that's basically on the same kind of front is when you're getting in someone's face. Now, it's exactly like the arse thing, but it's close. Have you ever noticed that when someone is getting in your face, or you're getting in their face, or you're even just watching two other people get in each other's faces, that one, or both of their are tilted up? If they are tilted up, the funny thing is, they're looking down!
It's one of those "I'm going to kick your ass punk," and the other one coming back with "yeah, let's see ya try it a--hole!" What they're really saying is "I can tilt my head up more and still look at you better then you can!", and coming back with a "No way a--hole, look at this, I can even see my nose! Do that punk!" With a bunch of losers. I love mocking them just because it's so damn easy to do!
Now, come on, has anyone besides me ever noticed such a thing? I think there are some people out there that have.
One more observation I need to relate to you people before I go. That observation is that the Hungry Man TV dinners with the three pieces of chicken are DA BOMB! I love those! Chicken, potatoes, corn, and a neat little cherry dessert! How can you go wrong? It's greasy, fattening, and yet oh so delicious! What I NEED to observe is all grocery stores carrying them, and every refrigerator having them! Ok, now I'm done, have a good day!
... Hey, Big Daddy here again, One more thing, and this time I MEAN just one more. I'm running out of ideas to rant about. I'm sure you're all going "Good, then stop with these stupid rants," but no can do. Big Daddy needs his rants like you all need your hooked on phonics. It's true, it's DAMN TRUE! The thing I'm trying to say here is that if anyone has any ideas on what I can rant about, even if they're stupid and just want to see what I can come up with, then e-mail me a couple of ideas, or write one yourself! I'm still having that "guest rant" thing! Ok, now I'm REALLY done!
... Just ONE more thing. Hee hee, just kidding. Take care!