This week I'm going to write a little rant about myself. Why you may be asking? That's a simple matter to address. The fact of the matter is, I haven't been acting very intelligent lately. In fact, on some occasions I've been down right stupid. I'd like to share two anecdotes with you all to make you see my point.
Story # 1:
There I was, trying to get ready for work and doing a pretty good job of it. I took my shower, combed my hair, got my clothes on, and did all the nessacary things that a man would need to do. I'm going to stop here and mention that it only takes me a whole 15 - to - 20 minutes to totally get ready. Not this 30 minutes for the shower. Then 20 minutes for the hair. Then 15 minutes for the makeup, and then 20 minutes to pick out the clothes for the day, and 10 more added onto that for putting them on. From the 30 minutes part, is anyone realizing who I'm talking about? Of course it's the freakin WOMAN! SHEESH! YOU LOOK FINE DAMMIT!
Anyways, back to my story. So, I'm getting my coat on, and my shoes, and after making sure that my wallet and phone are connected in some form to my pants, I head out the door. Now, I always lock my door and so when I went to reach for my keys, I saw that they weren't in my pockets. Hmm... that's strange, I could have sworn I grabbed that. Oh well, back inside.
So, I walk back into my apartment and I go to my room. They're not there, so I go to the livingroom. They're not there either. I go to the kitchen, nada. Hmmm... where the hell could they be? Right about then, out of habit mostly, I started to twirl my keys around my finger. Holy CRAP!!! They're they are! They were in my freakin HAND the whole time! Good one Big Daddy, you were really on top of that one weren't ya. I laughed at myself for quite a long time for that one. Not many people can search for their keys for a whole minute only to find them in their hands. Pretty good, eh folks?
Story #2:
I don't know if this is really a story of me being stupid, but more of me being WAY out of it. I was really tired one evening and so I went to bed and slept for awhile. Of course a dream came to me, and I must say it was pretty stupid. In my dream I was laying in bed, just like I was for real. In my dream though, for some odd reason, the walls against the head of the bed were supposed to come crashing down and I was needed to move.
It was about this time that I came semiconscious. I knew that I was pretty much dreaming, and that I was kinda waking up. Did that stop me from dreaming? Nope. Did that stop me from sitting up, wrapping the blankets around me and walking towards the door to get out of the way of the falling walls? NOPE! Stupid stupid stupid!
When I was half way to the door, I pretty much realized that I had been dreaming and that I didn't need to go into the livingroom to sleep. So, I crawled back into bed, and started to mentally kick myself in the ass for being stupid. Of course, the key incident came to mind and I just started to laugh at how stupid I was getting. Not too many people can lose a whole key chain in their hand, and then get kicked out of their own bedroom by one of their own dreams in the same week. Only me.
So, as you can tell, I haven't really been at the top of my game as of late. I don't really know why, but I just haven't really paid much attention to certain details. I really need to do that. I can say with some pride that since those two incidents occurred, I haven't done anything as dumb as those. I'm going to make sure I stay with that habit, cause wow, do I feel like a complete moron. If anyone out there can top my stories, by all means, write me an e-mail and let me know. It would be nice to know I'm not the only one out there that can laugh at themselves as much as I can.
Wait just a moment, I can tell a story where someone did something dumber then what I did. A waitress where I work was told to bring up ice to put in the pop machine. The ice maker is in the back of the kitchen, whereas the pop machine is in the front. The kitchen has a big green tub that we fill up with the ice and then carry it up. Well, she went back, grabbed the big greed tub and walked half way back to the front before she realized she didn't put any ice in it. Good one there. We all had a good laugh at her for that one. She's blonde just so you all know and where's pants that have a whole in the crotch. Though I would tell everyone. Hope no one minds. Well, til next time!!