What grave injustice has been committed you may be asking yourselves? No, it's not the fact that Bush was elected. No, it's not the fact that Pauly Shore continues to make movies. And No, it's the fact that basic cable doesn't allow people to get the Playboy Channel, even though that's a big one. No, the great injustice is this: The TV dinner, ESPECIALLY the Fried Chicken ones are SEVERELY not appreciated enough!
Have you ever sat in the frozen foods isle and thought to yourself, "Hmmm... I'm hungry and am looking for a little variety. Want something that's hot, but yet consists of the four major food groups, PLUS a dessert!" Well, I know that I think that! Now, what gives the human body a consistent number of proteins and minerals that comes in a microwave safe container and has a bunch of different choices? Well, that's the TV DINNER DAMMIT PEOPLE! So, as you all can see, the TV dinner is the BEST invention since sliced bread!
Is that the way it's treated though? NOPE! You stupid ass stockers and grocery store managers don't treat it like the GOD meal that it is! It should have it's own little fridge in the isle, complete with body guards, and lights, and a 40 member band playing "I'm too sexy" 24 hours a day around it!
Does it though? NO! It gets put at the bottom of the shelf under the LEAN CUISINE! Now, who in the FUCK wants to be under the LEAN CUISINE!!?? Only fat ass bitches who haven't accepted the fact that they're always going to overweight go to THAT freezer! And when they're at that freezer, they don't go for the delicious, gotta-have-that-meaty-goodness, gonna-clog-your-arteries-faster-then-Bush-can-fuck-up-this-country, full course meal complete with Fried Chicken, Sweet Corn, MASHED POTATOES, and even a GREAT little apple desert! After hearing just that, how can anyone pass up such a brilliant work of art? Didn't your parents raise you right! Were you women dropped on your heads as children!!?? Huh were ya!? And you GUYS! You're suppose to go STRAIGHT for the fatty shit! Were you dropped on your DICKS as kids!? Sure freakin seems that way!
Of course, I'm just talking about the Fried Chicken one because it happens to be my favorite one. If I could pick only one item to live the rest of my life on, the Fried Chicken TV dinners would be it! It's true, it's true! Now, the Fried Chicken dinner isn't the ONLY option you self-indulgent freaks of nature with money can get! Ohhh no, there's PLENTY MORE! There's Tenderloin, a Fisherman's platter, Turkey, Salisbury Steak! And a few more! Those are the BEST though! They ROCK DA HOUSE! They will fuck you up the ass if you want them too! They're just THAT good!
So next time you people are out at the grocery store, or convenience store, or where ever the hell you people go to buy food, remember to fill your carts with the great tasting, melts in your mouth(or where ever you want to stick it), fun for the whole family, TV DINNERS! And if you DON'T buy them, I'm going to hunt you assholes down and shove so many TV dinners up your asses that all of you will be shitting chicken and sweet corn for the rest of your miserable damn lives! Til next time! Peace and love!