When I leave my apartment each day to go to work, or to go and play pool, or just because I want to be outside, I look around and do you know what I see? I see so many people who just aren't like me. They drive horrible, they don't pay attention to anyone but themselves, they're probably also having a good time, but they just aren't like me, and that's wrong.

This world needs more people like me. If I were to become President of the United States, and would be able to pass a law that says everyone must be like me, I would. It's the greatest concept on the planet, to be like Big Daddy. You just have to see it from my point of view. Everyone would be funny, intelligent, charming, sweet, imaginative, creative, good looking, and above all, just plain sexy, except Richard Gere, Ben Stein, and the two hosts of the Man show. They have a sexiness all their own that I only wish to have one day. Other then them though, everyone only WISHES they were as sexy as me, and everyone at least should be.

Therefore, I've devised a certain kind of system to chart just how sexy a person can be. Now, the terms I use it in mostly tend to be all "guy" terms, but you ladies need to just change a couple of words around cause this thing involves your gender as well.

Level 1: You're someone's bitch. You are not even good enough to be called anything but a bitch. This level is for the people that don't have a social life, or if they do, it's with the exact same people and almost never involve a member of the oppisite sex. They are offically allergic to the sun and seem to be a complete follower and never a leader.

Level 2: You're a guy/girl. Now, this is different then being a "man". Here you're the lowest form of a "guy" that can be found. You go out every now and then with a few different people, but you always have trouble meeting new people and when you do it's a one time deal. You're shy and only venture out of your room and away from your computer, or video games, if you're made to by your "mommy" or your friends.

Level 3: You're da MAN! This is the level that the average human is at. When a person is at this level, it basically means that they lead their own life and have few problems, but yet few acomplishments. When people are on this level, they go out on the weekends and every once in awhile on the weeknights. They have a job, most of the time a full time one. They take care of themselves and have a lot of friends of both genders, and are still able to meet and keep new ones. You have very little problem getting a significant other and am able to keep them for however long you wish it to last.

Level 4: You just a PIMP! You've got that right. You're the talk of the town and everywhere you go, you have people that you know and that know you back. You go out on the town anytime that you can and have the money to do so. Your parents never see or hear from you for a week at a time and each night you have a new woman, or guy, to hang out with and all people just want to be around you.

Level 5: You’re just a sexy bitch like me! That’s all that there is to this level. You are up to my level of intelligence, imagination, charm, cleverness, humor, and above all else, you’re up to my level of sexiness. Only few have reached this level.

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking about my definitions and saying that “yeah, I’m like that” when it comes to a certain level, but I’ll just tell you now, you’re not. Only I, with me being one of the only members on the Sexy Bitch level can tell you at what level you’re at and when you jump up a level. And I’ll tell you right now, half of you are just Da Man, and the other half are split between being just “guys” and being someone’s bitch! It’s true, it’s true.

If you think you’re at some level of humanity, e-mail me why you think so, and I’LL decide, not you, since I’m so WAY smarter then all of you are, at what level you’re at. Just remember, and I know that it’s smart of my to tell everyone this since none of you seem smart enough to find it for yourself, but there’s a SLAMBOOK at the bottom to sign, and the e-mail button on the bottom. Try using the mouse for something other then making porn pictures bigger.