Big Daddy here folks. I'm afraid that I'm going to have to cop out on this week's rant once again for I am taking the advice of my good friend Alcohol Paul. My bitchiest rant ever is done, but I need to wait a week for personal reasons. So, this week's rant is going to be another guest rant! This one is by Miss Karla Reps, and I must say, it covers some very good points. This will be the third guest rant in a row so if you have something you'd like to bitch about, anything at all, write it down and send it via e-mail to me. Anything is acceptable, even if it's a rant saying how stupid and dumb this site is. I must say one more thing before I turn the mic over to Miss Reps and this message goes out to one specific woman. Oh Miss DeMuth, I WANT THE CHARGER FOR THE TRUCK BACK! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW! It's in a nice white box with the words "POWER WHEELS" on it. It can't be hard to find, and if I don't have it back soon, you're not going to like what the NEXT message will say, trust me on that. Now, Heeeeeeeeeere's KARLA!

Hey Big Daddy, I had an idea for a guest rant, so here goes:

Some of you who are about to read this know me, and some of you don't. Here's the 411: My name is Karla, I'm 20 years old, and I am a good friend of Big Daddy's. Most people refer to me as K, Karlita Mistress of Pain, or Peperoni. Call me what you will, just not late for dinner. (Bah Dah Ching) I am a sophmore this year at this fancy-ass private Lutheran college in southern MN. (They really do talk like they do in Fargo here) If you really must know it is Gustavus Adolphus College. Now what kind of college has the word Adolph in it? Oh this one, Hitler's wet dream.(BAHHH!) But I am not here to complain about my college, except that is the way it is going to begin.

Here I am paying $22,000 a year to get my "well-rounded" Liberal Arts edumication that will get me absolutely dick in the real world because I will have no time to get any experience (which is what employers really want) because I am studying my ass off and paying off loans for the rest of my life. I will end up with my McMajor from a "big name" college that is only known throughout Minnesota, and that is only because of the damn tornado that took place 2 years ago that they still talk about on a regular basis. "Would you like fries with that?"

SO here is the real complaint:

It isn't like there is any shortage of money flowing through the hands of this institution. But whatever dumb worthless stuff that they are spending it on, it obviously isn't the basics.

You would think that they could atleast afford some decent toilet paper. I am an average person, and after my daily dump, when I grab the phone book and take my shoes off I would like to wipe my ass with something other than sand paper. I mean I am talking Charmin or something. Heck, it doesn't even have to be name brand, it just has to be soft. Now tell me, is that too much to ask? I guess it is an inconvenience to have some comfort when you are taking care of some necessary business.

Today I went to the local mall (which the name of will remain annonymous because of copyright reasons) and I stopped into their Target only to notice that their toilet paper is softer and in better quality than ours. Now as a student, a tax paying citizen and an overall complainer, I have to protest. When will something be done about this? This is an outrage! All I ask is just a little comfort.

As a wise man once told me, the top two best feelings in the world are taking a dump, you know that nice cleaned out feeling after you have pinched a loaf which shouldn't be ruined by rough toilet paper. And well, I will tell you the other one when you're older. Ok, so after I get rid of that awful cafeteria food that burns just as much going down, I just want to be able to have something that I can depend on.

So here ends my bitch session. Are there any of you out there that haven't run off to Target to buy me some nice TP or aren't in the bathroom puking? I wish you all a comforting day.