Since this is the first "Rant of the Month" I'm hoping that it will be one of the best as well. I'm hoping that it will entertain you in hopes that you'll return to read other "Rants of the Month". This month then I tell the story about a bitchy young teenager who couldn't accept me for who I was no matter how many times I tried to show her. Enjoy!

I know that I've written before about how women don't appreciate me because I'm not as "GQ" as they would like. This rant is just going to be one big bitch session of just how bad it can get for people like me.

Valentine's Day last year I went and met for the first time one of the most beautiful girls that my eyes had ever laid eyes on. We had been talking practically everyday before hand and then we just the first time we'd ever saw eachother in person. I guess from what she's told me that she thought I was pretty hot as well. Go figure.

After about 2 or 3 weeks and a make out session later, she finally agreed to go out with me. I was the happiest man on the planet. I'd finally gotten the girl that I always wanted. She had a son too that was about to turn two years of age that I just loved from the very first night that I met him.

Well, it was all right dating her. I mean I loved being with her any time that I could, but for some reason I just kept getting the feeling that she couldn't accept me for who I was. Everything I did seemed to be wrong. The posters on my wall were wrong, the things I said were sexist and offensive. I couldn't swear at all while I was around her. Anytime I acted like I "one of the guys" it bothered her to the point where we would probably get into some kind of argument. I couldn't even make fun of ELMO for cryin out loud and that puppet is just ASKING to be made fun of! Of course, she could make fun of Wrestling, something that I was into, and that was ok.

Most of the stuff about the posters and the swearing is all stuff that I didn't mind changing. The posters(they have chicks in bikinis on the, you know, guy posters) came off the walls, and even now they're still not up. They're mostly forgotten sitting in a box. The swearing was no problem, since we were almost always around her son. I was always trying to explain myself even with things that I shouldn't have to explain. They were just parts of nature that for some reason she couldn't except. I, to this day, have no reason why.

I'm sure you're all wondering why I just didn't dump her. That's a good question, but I have the answer. It was because all that stuff was just her defenses being put up from all the bad experiences with men that she had had. Raped, Molested, physically and verbally abused. All things that had happened in her past. Sure, a man can only take so much before he runs, but I never wanted to run. A line from a movie might be able to explain why I never left and why I wanted to stay. That line is this "I see two people, the person you are, and the person you ought to be." I saw those two women inside of her and I knew that one day they would meet and the most perfect woman would emerge. Passionate, intelligent, funny, beautiful. All of them would be free to the world instead of being a paranoid, ungrateful, judgmental, psychotic woman that she is today.

After only a week, yes, I'm WELL aware of how little of time that is, I fell in love with her. Now, I've had my taste of lust, but this was so far beyond that, that it couldn't have been anything but the real thing. What were my reasons behind it? That's easy, I had none. Not one reason could I put to how I felt. That's the way it should be I'm sorry to say to all of you. If you sit there with your significant other and you say that you love them and then go and list off twenty different reasons why, you're not in love. Love is without reason. Which is why it has no definition, and to why no one can completely describe it. It's something that can only be felt, nothing more.

I told her this one night after we had gone a little far in one of our only make out sessions. Don't worry, no sex, or hell, no clothes were shed either. With each further movement I made I asked at least twice if it was alright to do so. Never got a no in any of my attempt at questioning my movements. I found out later I really should have known better. After I told her that I loved her, she responded by saying that she really really liked me and that I was so good to her and her son and that I had accepted her son better then anybody. Well, hey, I'll take that. At least it means I'm not doing anything wrong. We made a pact that night never to go as far as we did that night. A pact I happily accepted.

One week after that she dumped me. Not for swearing. Or for cheating. Or for staying out late with the guys. Not even for lying. Why did she dump me then? Because when I went down to my mother's house to watch a live WWF event, I watched 20 minutes of an HBO simulated sex movie. 15 minutes of that was horrible acting, and the last 5, I only watched about maybe 1 full minute of the crap they call sex, since the other rest of the time, I had my mother's satellite display on because I was looking for something better to watch. That's why she dumped me, or so she says. Who knows if that's the real reason. I doubt it is. She said that since I watched that little portion of it that I was obviously into that stuff, that she couldn't feel comfortable around me anymore, that my morals were all screwed up, that I was going to be a bad influence on her son, blah blah blah! WHAT? I mean how BITCHY do you have to be to say that to someone!? Remember also, this is the same woman who just a week before said I was good to her and her son.

Lets just say that I was pretty pissed to be accused of all those things. Especially when none of them were true. I just couldn't believe it. I put my heart into making sure that I treated her with respect and went only as fast with the relationship as she wanted to go. We could almost never go out of the house alone since she had her son. That was no problem since I was at least able to see the both of them. It didn't matter to me. None of it did. Everytime that she would bitch about something that was so immaterial, I would let it slide because it wasn't important. Then, when she did the same thing she just bitched at me for, I wouldn't say a word because I knew enough to know it wasn't that important.

I tried to get advice from friends. I'd tell them as best I could what was said between the two of us and see what they had to say. Most of them said that she was probably just got scared and ran. All of them said though that she wasn't good enough for me and that I should move on. That she would grow up and realize what a great guy she just gave up and come looking for me. My family on the other had told me to run for the hills because she was psychotic. I tend to agree with my family. I realize now that they were completely right. She doesn't deserve me. She doesn't deserve my love, or any of the benefits that come with that, and that she is indeed, psychotic.

That's not the end of the rant though. Ohhhhhh no. There's more! Isn't that WONDERFUL!? After we broke up, I tried once or twice to get her back. A letter here, a call there. No biggie. She wanted to be friends, but I of course wanted just a little time to heal my heart's wounds so that it wouldn't be so hard to be around her. She took my plea for a little time as me not wanting her friendship, and that she felt used, and yadda yadda yadda. One word... PSYCHO! I mean JESUS! It doesn't take a brain surgeon to know that after you break up with someone that you love, it's freakin HARD to be around them! Especially if they did the dumping! I think most people will agree with me on that one!

After that little disaster, we lost touch for a few weeks. I didn't want to call her, and she obviously didn't want to call me. It was around this time that I made this website! That's right! We're approaching the middle of MAY! WOO HOO!! When the main page, and the archives and shit were finished, I sent out a massive e-mail to all the people that I knew so that they could come and look at my site and tell me what they thought of it. I sent it to her as well. In the e-mail, and I know most of the people that are going read this rant never got it, but I put in a disclaimer, kinda like the warning at the top of the page about the site I was sending everyone too. I wrote it specifically for her. I knew ever other person on my list wasn't psychotic and would take the site for the satire that it is, but I knew she wouldn't.

I was right about how she would take it too. I think she overreacted more then I ever thought she would. She sent me an e-mail, from the link at the bottom of the site, saying that I should leave her alone, that I shouldn't call her, that I shouldn't e-mail her, that I shouldn't do this and that. I'll tell everyone now, we hadn't talked for probably 2 or 3 weeks from when I got this e-mail. What a bunch of crock eh? She didn't want any contact with me just because of my website? Who is the HELL would dump another person completely just because of a stupid website made for entertainment???? Oh, that's right, She would.

Five months pasted without contact. During that time I went out, had a few laughs, spent money, and just had a good time. I came to be where I would think of her son and wonder how he was doing more then her. In fact, everytime I would think of her, the word "bitch" was always there as a faithful companion. It seemed to fit nicely, cause wow, what a bitch!

Towards the end of those five months I started thinking more and more about her. I wondered how her and her son were doing. So, one day, I waited online and when she logged on, I messaged her and just asked how she was and told her I understood if she didn't respond. Well, she responded a little later and we talked for a little bit. What shocked me though is that right out of the blue, she asks me if I wanted to get together and go out to dinner sometime. Say what? How does that work? The last time I was contacted by her, she basically told me to never speak to her again and now she's asking me to dinner? HUH???

Two more weeks pasted before we talked again. This time though she invited me to her house. I said fine. I went there and got to see her son and how much he had grow and gotten more mature then me. God I love that kid! I was there for about 4 hours and all we did was watch a cartoon movie, get some grub to eat, which I paid for since I never let a woman pay for anything when with me, and sat online and talked to her friend who was at college. That was it. All of you that have gotten this far will love this part. She asked me about my site and told me that she's been back to it a few times. Now, let me get this straight bitch. You write me an e-mail telling me to leave you alone and all that bullshit because of my site and then you go BACK!?? Not just once, but a FEW TIMES??? How does that work??

I'll try and sum out as quickly as I can and get to a lot of swearing and cursing. Lets see here. Christmas was coming up and I wanted to get her and her son something very nice for Christmas. It was my thinking that if I got her something extremely nice, maybe then she would see that I really do care for her and that she would more of a friend to me since we were barely talking. I did still love her, more so then ever, but I also wanted nothing more then friendship then. I had grown up and changed since we had first met and realized friendship was 14 times more important then any relationship could be. As for the present for her son, I just wanted to get him something awesome because I knew that he deserved it and that's just the kind of guy I am. I love giving extreme gifts to people because it makes me feel good and it usually make the other person feel good. Not so the case here, obviously.

I bought her a gold heart locket with a cross in the middle of it. For her son, I bought him an F-150 monster truck custom Power Wheels. Both were expensive, and extremely worth it. On Christmas Day I dropped them off. Of course she questioned them and me as to my intentions for the gifts. I thought I made it clear that they were just gifts that I wanted them to have, and that was it. I was wrong once again.

Four days later I found the gifts in front of my apartment door with a note that said that the gifts were inappropriate, that she didn't know what I expected to happen between me and her by buying them such gifts, that she was just trying to be nice and wanted to give our friendship a second chance be inviting me over because I had said I had changed. She then went on to say that it didn't take her long to see that I hadn't and that I had just reconfirmed her decision not to have any contact with me. Can you freaking believe that???!!! That ungrateful BITCH!!! I was SOOOOOOO pissed when I read that stupid note. One, she was disrespectful and quite insulting by her just leaving them on my doorstep, since I was HOME at the time of drop off. She was a coward for not knocking on my door and telling me what she was doing. Two, I can't believe that she took such an awesome present away from her SON just because she had a problem with me. Three, I would think that if I wanted anything from her I would have called or had done something to get some type of pay back. Four, she judged me once again wrongly which is her thing. Five, 4 hours is NOT a second chance at a friendship, no matter what anyone says. Especially since we barely talked with one another during that 4 hours. Like I said, we watched a movie, and chatted online. Not exactly a real bonding moment.

I'm going to end this now for this rant is long enough. I'm just going to say this. The woman I just talked about is a selfish, self-centered, judgmental, disrespectful, naive, UNGRATEFUL, psycho BITCH! I will probably be one of the only men that will ever truly care and love her for who she is and she threw it all away because she can't forgive herself for the things that she's done in her life. What a shame. What a pity. I feel sorry for her, I really do, but oh well. She brought it on herself. If I'm wrong, let me know. If I'm right, let me know. Once again, I apologize for the length, and I appreciate anyone who got this far. Til next week when I will have another awesome guest rant! LATER!