Rant for the Week of Febuary 25 - March 4

Greetings my minions and welcome to another edition of the "Rant of the Week"! This is wonderful, another guest rant! You see people! You see how easy it is for these people to express their opinions? Why can't you ALL do that!? I'm sure there is one topic, if not serveral topics, in which EACH and EVERY person would love to rant about. So come on, fill up Big Daddy's mailbox with all of your complaints about the world. Fill it up with your rants about your stupid boyfriends, or a ticket you got, or ANYTHING! It's not that hard! I mean if DALE can do it, why can't you!? By the way, this week's Guest Rant is brought to you by Mr. Dale. The statements in parentheses are MINE, not Dale's. I'm just putting in my own two cents into what he's saying. I'm sure no one will mind. So, ENJOY! Next week, unless I get another Guest Rant, there will be a new Rant of the Week from ME, AND a new Rant of the MONTH! LATER!

As I watched T.V. last Sunday and saw the unfortunate death of the best NASCAR driver ever Dale Earnhardt, I began to realize that one day I would not be on this beautiful planet. I know what you are all asking, "What would the world be like without Dale?" (peaceful and happy?) It would be a horrible world I know but that's not the point of this rant (Thank goodness! I'd hate to have to post a lie). The point of this rant is to tell all the people that I despise that I would love to see, from above, how much their lives suck, and how they become complete failures (Yeah, like working the stock shift for Cub Foods is a real successful job).

The first group of people, if you can call them that, I'm looking forward to see failing in their old age are all the druggies out there. Yeah 420 all the Way!!!! When you guys hit the age of 40 and have spent all your free time in your younger years (not to mention your 20s and 30s!) getting high and not out socializing, you will end up spending your later years flipping burgers at the local fast food restaurant (Don't forget stocking shelves at Cub Foods! They'll be doing that as well!). While everyone else is out having a good life making money and throwing small get togethers (Now, remember Dale, druggies throw get togethers all the time! They have to get high with SOMEONE!) you guys will be working your butts off trying to pay your bills..... While my buddies are off in retirement you guys will be working as the bag boys at the grocery store. While that's going on I will be laughing up in heaven, or where ever we go in the afterlife, while you guys are still living your pathetic government subsidized lives in the slums of the big city.

The second and last group of people I'm looking forward to seeing fail in life, are the all the men/players out there. You know the guys who get all the drop dead sexy women and treat them like shit (Now Dale, if it wasn't for allll the guys that treat women like shit, there would be no room for nice guys like ourselves to shine. They're making US look better because God knows we can't do it ourselves!). What will you guys do when your 35, fat, bald, and still working the same pathetic part-time job you have now (I'm sure by the time they're 35, they would have moved up to TWO part-time jobs)?? I hate to inform you, but fat and bald is not attractive no matter what Rich from Survivor 1 says (fat WITH hair isn't attractive either, TRUST ME!). Then you guys will really see how pathetic, and how big of a loser you guys really are. Then you guys will die alone and unhappy like all the other old dirty men that are out there (Dale, I'm sure they're going to shower on a regular basis).

The 2 groups above are the ones out there that I'm looking forward to fail. There are plenty more groups out there that I wish I could name but Big Daddy only gave me so much space to rant with (That's a lie! I give as much space as needed to complete your rant! Dale just doesn't want to think anymore then he has to). So if you guys hear tomorrow about my untimely death (throw a party?), please try to get along with the rest of your lives without me (Nooooooo problem). I know that's something very hard for all you guys to do (if it helps you get to sleep at night, then by all means, continue to think that). If you fall in the groups I listed above, be prepared to FAIL and live an unhappy life. Then you guys will finally realize how much life sucks for the rest of us.......(speak for yourself! I've got fans that ADORE me all over the world! Life doesn't suck completely!)