Howdy folks! I hope everyone is doing just as peachy as I am! Why am I so peachy? Well, that's simple, I, once again, didn't have to bitch about anything. I have my good friend Trent here bitching for me about his life. I must say, this is one the best rants I've read. I'm sure you all will enjoy it. For those of you who are missing the old "Big Daddy Rants" I'm sure I'll be back next week with one of mine, unless of course I get another guest rant from someone. My fans come first, that's my motto! So, til next week! Enjoy!

I'm sick and tired of seeing beautiful women with their boyfriends. I'm sick and tired of being the underdog, someone elses bitch. I'm sick and tired of being the person who reponds to a personals add on the internet, meets the girl, and then almost turns to stone because of her medusa-like physical appearance.

Howdy folks! I'm Trent, Aka Frooser ( a freak and a looser). Yeah, I'm sick and tired of all those things which I just mentioned, but I do think that those things can change. I know that I've definetely changed. In my sophomore year of high school, my head was like a cross between a rotting pumpkin, a road map, and a very large tidal wave of greasy residue. Yeah, I was quite the freak. And with those shorts that "screamed homosexuality", I basically had no hope of breaking the ties that so binded me to a life of bitchery and servitude to those of higher status.

But today, now that I'm 20-years old and in college, I've changed---I'm a new man with a new haircut, face, and at least a subtle change in personality. Despite this newness, all the old shit still happens. I am still someone's bitch (I bust my ass at a restaraunt and subjected to phrases such as: "Trent, you motherfucker, stop giving me all this shit!!"), and I still can't get a beautiful woman. What to do with a hopeless case like me?

Well, I guess that I can get a backbone, and I mean a big backbone. I have to go up to a woman and admit that I smell like a French whore on dollar day, or that I smell like a French whore who had an especially busy day at the office, or that I smell like a French whore newly employed, or that if I was a French whore, I would get alot of "close contact" business. Yes, I have to be spontaneous and loud-mouthed, thus reaffirming my confidence in myself and others.

The problem is, I have a hard time getting a backbone, because when it comes to my personality, I am like a sick tree with all the branches coming down. Without a backbone, it will be difficult to solve my problems, and I definetely don't want to "deevolve" back into my freakish sophomore state and again become the victim of the "homosexual golf shorts" syndrome and the "rotting pumpkin-road map-tidal wave head disease." No, I want my life to change!!! I'm sick of being stuck in the same old situation! I want someone to be MY bitch for a change and I want to become a sexy stud. A sexy stud with the pimpshit. A sexy stud with the pimpshit and the hot car. The sexy stud with the pimpshit, hot car, and hot babe. The sexy stud with the pimpshit, hot car, hot babe, and money. I desire to be too sexy even for myself. I want to be sexy, glorified, personified, and magnifide. I want to be the sex symbol of symbols. I want to be the sex symbol of symbols of symbols. I want to be the sex symbol of symbols of symbols of symbols and so on and so forth and forthwith. I want to be sexier than sexy (definetely sexier than a French whore on dollar day and all the French whores in between), I want to be sexier than the sexiest person who surpasses all sexier peoples. I want to be as sexy as it gets! I want to become so sexy that I can't stand my sexiness.

But I know that all of that will be difficult to achieve, so I will work at it. Being Trent is hard---you get stuck with alot of shit. But, hopefully, I will overcome all of my problems and become a self-actualized person. Thanks for reading.