"Hightower, the legend continues."

"Violence is bad. Everyone should eat rice pudding."
Dawid Kinney

"I'm movin', but... I'm not movin'."
Dan Roemer

"Hi, I'm Leather Face."
Nelson Mandela

"Hey John.. your mamma."
Maynard

"Double bass drums."
The Answer To Any Question

"I don't ask where gifts come from, I simply eat them."
Adam Winkler

"Where's the rest of me?!"
Ronny Reagan

"Hey, what's bloody and a baby?! A bloody baby!"
Günther Römer getting really sick of dead baby jokes

"Arf-arf."
Lassie

"Woof-woof."
John's Mama

"Dead babys... Hm-hm-hm-hm-hm!"
Dawid Kinney

Dan: ...You ever seen those Leprichaun movies? That's messed up.
Adam: I saw the first one, it was dumb.
Dan:That's messed up man.
Adam: I just think it's dumb.
Dan: Thats messed up. (pause) I think i'm gonna pierce my face.
Dialague between Adam Winkler and Dan Roemer

"I am an illegal parking space."
The WG

"There's too much liquid and not enough chunks."
Jessica Winkler

"I wanna fly like a birdy up into the sky, ...and then a little to the left."
Roland Winkler

"Look at these poopy pants!"
Greg Dahlstrom

"I'm a banana, it hurts!"
Lori (L)

"Don't power bomb people through tables because I said so."
Sailor Moon Says

"Desensitization is no excuse for demoralization."
Tako Sensei

"I'ts a special day, my knuckles are making a different sound."
GZeus

"If you're gonna sell yourself out to a movie, go for the biggest movie out there. Go all the way."
Lars Ulrich
Sir Weeze Translation: "If you're gonna whore yourself, go for the biggest dick out there. And eat all the cum too. Go all the way."

"I got mad gas, yo."
Dan Roemer

"You.. broke.. my.. faaaaaccee!!"
Chris Brown after getting tackled in 4th grade

"Safeway?"
Mike Patton

"What? We're going to meet Flint McKnives?"
Sir Weeze, 6th grade camp thing

"What part of 'FUCK!' do you not understand?!"
Sir Weeze, agonizing over his new "tattoo" that looks like one of those bad guy ghosts in Pac Man

Lo: That's not yours either.
Lo's great grandma: The leader? Who's the leader?
A conversation between Lo and her great grandma

"I've just struck a blow for justice, nobody calls me peach fuzz!"
Niles Crane

"On the episode I just saw, so-and-so, was to marry, I don't know, one of those dopey-looking guys. To me they're all the same, with those monstrous jaws and too much cartilage. They all resemble those freshly shaved guys on razor commercials who have anonymous women rise up and feel their chins."
Mike Nelson, my new hero, on the Aaron Spelling show, "Savannah" from his book "Movie Megacheese".

"Zeebity bop! I haven't eaten in weeks!"
David Lee Roth

"It's not fair."
Dan Roemer after learning that Mana from Malice Mizer was actually a man

"I'm kicking linear regression ass!"
Lo

"Hey Mr. Raymond, wanna buy some rocks?"
Jason Hunziker

"Hey, why did the metal fan cross the road?
Because he's a fucking idiot who would buy anything with a skull on it."
Buzz Osbourne

"Why didn't they just turn it off? I didn't call the police when Forrest Gump started running."
John Waters, referring to people's reaction to "Pink Flamingos"

"Drunk Boy"
A bulletin board thing in the middle of Woodbury High School, for no reason

"I just wanted to let you know, when 5:30 rolls around, if I'm not here, it's because I'm gone."
GZeus

"HOW DO I COME UP WITH THIS CRAP?! A Roddy belt? WHAT?!"
The Sir Weeze

"It would do something kind of irritating, like talk about books. In French."
John Malkovich on how his action figure would behave

"I always thought DNA stood for Dude Needs Apartment."
Kato Kaelin

"I think I DO have high score on 'Clam Lappers'."
GZeus, reflecting on Bill Hicks and Japanese Video games

"Ted-Danson-what?"
GZeus, on my Jesus drawing

"Michael-Hutchence-prostitute?"
Weeze, on GZeus' cameo appearance in "Santa and his Three Hos"

"If you want to be a virtuoso then you have to set your sights above me. You have to go beyond what I'm doing. And that's for you to figure out. Because if you can do that, then I'm going to be trying to go beyond you."
Steve Vai
GZeus translation: "C'Mon, just wrap your lips around it right now. Kneel before me and submit, because I'm the best there's ever been."

"Sing a mean tune kid! Sock 'em in the gut, yeah, yeah, yeah!"
Chicago lyric

"The band Garbage is a musical dildo."
GZeus

"I hate the quotes section!"
Ville

"I live in a world of plants, pets, and pants."
GZeus, in a nutmeg haze

"It makes me sick. It's like a porno movie at times. You know when they pan in right up close on the insertion and you just don't want to see it? That's Faith No More"
Someone in Faith No More, apparantly.. probably Roddy

"Maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans.
But this is our hill. And these are our beans!"
Lt. Frank Drebin

"I'm always surprised to hear he's still alive. I'm starting to doubt the sincerity of his lyrics. It's not that hard to die..."
John from Eclipse, about Morrissey

"Heads, I win. Tails, I win."
The GZeus

"You know when you're playing solitaire and, and you get like 2 moves in, and then you spend 10 minutes looking for another, knowing you won't find one? That's Satanists in Love."
Satanists in Love

"I want Zach De La Rocha to come out from wherever he's hiding and beat Tom Morello to death with Chris Cornell."
John at Eclipse

"I told you about the time I saw Virgil selling hats at the mall, didnt I?"
Gary Gaetti's Helmet

"open enrollment"
what?!

"I need someone to sponsor my genitals."
a Sir Weeze pickup line

Dude: "One of these days all that hate's going to burn you up inside."
Not Eclipse Mike: "Yes but it will keep me so warm..."

"Look at my huge penis of CDs!"
John

"That's heinous."
Sir Weeze

"Dude..."
The GZeus saying something heinous

"I'd be able to see it, if it weren't for these damn NICKELS in my eyes."
Terrible Dubbing

"Achievement is for senators and scholars. At one time I had ambitions but I had them removed
by a doctor in Buffalo. It started as cyst, it grew under my arm and I had to have
new shirts made, it was awful. But I have then in a jar at home now."
Tom Waits, about ambition

Sir Weeze: The thing about my old job was that I could pretty much do whatever,
almost anything I wanted, I could practically get away with murder.
Some Chick: So what did you get fired for?
Sir Weeze: Murder.
Sir Weeze, talking about his old job

"I wish Hitler still ran the Olympics. Volleyball lesbian swastica sex..."
Rahb

"I'm evolving... now I need an albino girlfriend."
Jesus

"Tonight I'd like to reunite with my sanity."
Token Black Guy, VH1

"Spielberg's quest to go bowling with infected knees. A day-long trilogy of events."
Sir Weeze

"Whoa, I'm almost done with Anal Justice."
Geza

"I like it because it has........................... fucking."
Geza

"I can exchange rape dollar bills for goods and servicings... or else."
Morgan Freeman

"You used 'punk rock' and 'arpeggio' in the same sentence... now you have to drink from the firehose!"
Eclipse John

"I just feel like I'm pushing the monkey button."
Geza

"You could kill someone with this too, but it would be... delicious."
Christian Solo

"Stop being so verbally inaffectionate!"
Sir Weeze

"Why is my mind so stupid?"
Cocaine

"Fieldy has 'tone'? It sounds like he is continually throwing a box of scissors into a submarine."
some guy at some message board named phildogger

"Beer-bongin' cocaine... for your nose!"
T

"I thought Ray Charles actually existed..."
The GZeus

"Yeah, she did the rest of my drugs. She's really sloppy. And slutty."
David Koresh, talking about Tori Amos

"Put on Deeism."
"Deeism?"
"Yeah, Deeism"
"Deeism?"
"Yeah."
"De-ism?"
"Yeah."
"De-ism?"
"Yeah."
"De-ism?"
"Yeah."
"De-ism?"
"Yeah."
"Like that thing we learned about in school? Deism?"
"Yeah.......... wait. Deicide."
Conversation between Ben Miller, Dan and the GZeus

"HOLY SHIT I'M AN ALIEN WHEN I'M DRUNK!"
John Justen, a ninja slap-boxing fajitas out of J. Casablanca's dental dam