Link entered the forest once again, this time with a direct order from Princess Zelda. He couldn’t believe what was going on when he came back. A feast enough size to match Hyrule Day was going on. “I think it must be for those new outsiders,” Well, yes it was and we were loving every minute of it. “More beans, cook! These are good!” yelled Jardi. I liked the extremly good beef that they served up. They also had some strange pies that they served up. I think that green-haired girl, who I later knew as Saria, cooked them. They were sort of sweet, sour, did I mention that they were sweet? Well, then the guy named Link marched up to me and handed me a slip of paper. “Royal orders from the princess!” and then ran off to join the festivities. It said: “Outsiders, you claim to come on behalf of the United Fedaration of Planets. Please come as soon as possible!” Thats all it said. I showed the cryptic message to the others and they all agreed to go see who this cryptic message was from and if they were dangerous. We chose Link as our guide to whoever it was because he looked like he knew his way around. And he had carried the message so he would most likely know where to go. We set out for the castle as Link told us.
Ganon sat there, sulking. He wanted revenge! “That cursed irritant! He should never have tried to destroy me! Because when I get out, I will get revenge! Revenge! Revenge will be mine! AHHHHAHAH!” Ganon was in one of his rare good moods today. Ever since he got sealed in the void, Ganon had been more prone to losing his temper. So, lucky for the other inhabitants of the void, he did not try to choke anyone today. Suddenly the Triforce of Power started to glow. A beam shot out of it, and a hole in the Sacred Realm opened. Ganon saw blue sky. He grinned and climbed out of it. His clawed foot touched ground. Hylian ground. Ganon surveyed the area. “Yes...yes...”
“So where is this princess?” said Jardi. “It should be a couple more hours,” said Link. Suddenly a huge owl flew overhead. “Hi Kaepora!” shouted Link. “An owl?! In the daytime?! I don’t believe it!” said Jardi. “Shut up, Jardi!” Ashley said. “Can you belie-” “Shut up, Jardi!” we chorused. Jardi was getting to be a pain in the neck! We were silent, except for me asking questions about what was that, who was where, and a lot of other stuff. We got to Hyrule Castle Town and we saw a huge castle in the distance. “Is that where we’re supposed to go?” asked Arno. “Yeah, it is. I’ll have to sneak you past the guards, cause they don’t remember me. So lets go!” said an excited Link. We proceeded to sneak past some guards in a field, past some really dumb guards guarding the entrance, then past some guards guarding some sculpted plants. All of them were really dumb! We entered the courtyard. Arno took command at this point. “Fan out to different points of the courtyard so we can cover each other! You never know!” said Arno. “No, don’t! You’ll scare Zelda!” said Link. But it was too late. We were already charging into the courtyard. “I wonder when lunch is ready...I’ll call Impa. What in the world?! Oh my...IMPA!!!! HELP!!!!!!” said the girl in the courtyard. “We need to talk! Tell us anything or you will be stunned!” said “Mr. Peace”. He would have been a better policeman then crew member. “We don’t need to talk! IMPAAAA!!! HELP!!!!!!” A trim woman with sleek armor stormed in. I wouldn’t have wanted to mess with her. But Jardi did. He leapt forward and started practicing his martial arts. He went flying towards her with a well-aimed karate kick but the woman easily dodged it and he went flying into the wall. Ouch. Arno yelled to fire and four phaser beams went flying into the woman. She hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. She was breathing heavily. “Impa! What have you done to her?!” said the girl. “GUARDS!!!!! GET THESE PEOPLE THAT KILLED IMPA!!!!!!” screamed the girl. “Now look, we only stunned her she’ll be awake in a couple of-” “I DON”T CARE WHAT YOU DID TO HER, YOU MORONS! YOU SHOT HER!!!!!!!!!!” screamed the girl. “Man, this gal has a pair of lungs.” I muttered to myself. “Yes princess? What is it?” said the guard that just walked in. “GET THESE LUNATICS WHO JUST SHOT IMPA!!!” screamed the girl yet again! “Shoot! We’ve got one hundred guards spilling into the courtyard and there’s only five of us! What are we gonna do?” said Lannod. “Fear not! Mr.-” “Mr. Ego is here! Yeah, yeah we know the drill Jardi! Give it a rest!” I said. “Will you two shut up and look?!” said Ashley. I saw and I dived behind a rock. But the others were too late in looking up. They were captured. “YOU GOOD-FOR NOTHING MANIACS!!!!! PUT THIS REBEL SCUM IN THE DUNGEON!!!!!!” They didn’t know about me “Oh, and have a guard check the rocks to make sure none of that filth is hiding behind them,” said the girl. I thought about how one can change tones that quickly. I guessed that anything was possible here. I was quickly learning that in Hyrule, things are not what they seem!
“Sure, your Highness! Right away!” said the guard. I watched as he came closer. I raised my phaser. Set it to kill. I fired. The guard flew back in a flash of light and was gone. Oops, I had set it to ionize. I quickly set it to stun. The girl spun around and suddenly a message came. It seemed like she was talking to me through telepathy and she said: “Trick of Ganon, you are nothing more than a illusion. Go back to your master at once. Tell him that he is weak, to send nothing more than a mind trick. Go back, go back....” There was my first lesson on what a princess can do, even if it’s a bunch of complete dirt. Especially in Zelda’s case. I came out from behind the rock. “Wha-why didn’t my mind trick work? Are you even one of them?” said the girl. “Shut your mouth!! Why in criminy are you doing this?!” I said, trying to do a Southern accent, I don’t know what I was doing. Hence all this unimportant dialogue. “All right, I’ll cut the accents! Where are my friends?! Out with it!” For getting into Starfleet, I wasn’t much of a Starfleet type! “They-they’re in the dungeon!” “More than that!” I roared. “I-I can’t tell you! You would have to ask my father!” she said. “I’ll have to take you with me and come back for them later!” I said. “What do you mean?! I have to stay here!” she said. I answered with a phaser blast! “Sorry, but you have to sleep somewhere tonight. I don’t think your father would appreciate you having a big mark on your dress,” I said. I picked her up and headed out to the forest.
It was smelly down in the dungeon. Duh. I asked Lannod if it was as bad over there as it was here. “Jardi, I think you’ve gone absolutely crazy! Of course it is!” said Lannod. Well, that answered my question! “Same here!” said Ashley. “Cut the cheese! I need to think!” said Arno. “Don’t you mean, cut the chatter?” said Ashley. I broke out laughing. I think Lannod was laughing too. I’m sure everyone was! Except for this one burly guard who said: “I’ll make sure you cut the chatter!” he said. Then I remembered the phaser sewn into my front pocket. I always carried two because of emergencies like this, and they had taken my other one. I ripped out the phaser and shot the guard. Then I melted the locks on the door and I stepped out. Unfortunately the door collapsed and that brought guards running. Suddenly the others ripped their front pockets and brought their Phaser IIIs out. “Guys, aren’t those illegal? They are very dangerous an-” “Don’t get philosophical with me, Jardi Dragren! Just shoot!” said Ashley. Suddenly one of them tried to throw a spear at me. I was too quick for that. I gave him an uppercut. But another spear grazed me. I saw them grabbing my phaser. I shook them away and grabbed it first, then shot them. Oh yeah. They helped too. Then Ashley said “Where’s Aaron? I haven’t seen him all night!” and for the first time we wondered where our friend had gone.
I entered the forest. “Wounded girl here, does anyone of you know medicine?” I yelled. “I do!” said a young elf. It was that Saria that had, well I won’t get into that. “Okay, here she is!” I said. “Seventh Sage, I mean, she is wounded very badly!” said Saria. “Seventh Sage? Who is-” but before I could say anything more something inside me spoke and said “Protecter of the Triforce, stop! Do not say a word! Do not ask Saria anything more! Terrible things will happen! You will never be able to fulfill your quest as the final link to the Triforce!” the voice said. “Who are you? What do you want?” I asked. But it was gone.
I was just resting on the riverbank when Aaron came walking into the forest. What a cute kid, I thought. But not as cute as Link! “Wounded girl here, does anyone of you here know medicine?” he said. “I do!” I piped up. “Here she is!” he said. It was Zelda. “Seventh Sage! I mean, she’s wounded very badly!” I realized my mistake at once. Would he know? I wasn’t sure. I rushed her inside. If only Rauru were here, I thought. But then I remembered I was a Sage. I could just transport myself to the Chamber of Sages. I focused my mind on the chamber, and in a moment I was there. “Saria! Good to see you again, fellow Sage!” I recognized Darunia’s booming, but friendly voice. I quickly voiced my problem. “Zelda is half-dead. She has a real problem!” I said. Laughter rang suddenly. It was Ruto. “Zelda? Half-dead? Haha! Impossible!” While they were laughing, I focused on Zelda back in my house, and in a moment she was laying on the floor. “Zelda! What happened, Saria?” said Impa.
