Scifans Proudly Presents

Mars Needs Women (1964)

Tommy Kirk, who played a Martian in the fourth “Beach” movie (Pajama Party) the same year, not to mention that Mystery Science Theater 3000 favorite, “Village Of The Giants,” was hired by writer/director Larry Buchanan to film this one in Texas.
Four Martians arrive to capture Earth women in order to repopulate Mars. The actors, including Yvonne Craig of Batman, try their sincere best to rise above the silly and distended script. Unreleased until 1968.

"Mars Needs Women" is probably available on video and on DVD from

Pajama Party (1964)

Odd mixture of sci-fi, comedy, and beach theme has a Martian (Tommy Kirk) guest starring in the 4th Annette Funicello “Beach Party” movie (Frankie Avalon only has a cameo in this one), as an alien arriving to prepare for an invasion but instead getting caught up in an all-night pajama party in-doors.
Buster Keaton (star of the only silent Twilight Zone episode) and Don Rickles (Kelly’s Heroes) also guest star, and Teri Garr (Close Encounters) has a bit role as a dancer buried in sand.
Cast also includes Elsa Lanchester (the Bride of Frankenstein herself).
85 minutes, sometimes seen on American Movie Classics or Turner Classic Movies
"Pajama Party" is available on video and on DVD from

It's Alive (1968)

Writer/producer/director Larry Buchanan proudly presents this cheap drive-in quickie about a crazy ranch owner who collects reptiles, snakes and other thingies. He's discovered a giant "lizard amphibian," which he keeps in a cave and feeds passersby. A paleontologist (Tommy Kirk of Mars Needs Women and Disney's original version of The Shaggy Dog) and another couple (Shirley Bonne, Billy Thurman) are thrown to the "masasaurus," which appears to be someone in a rubber suit with ping-pong eyes. But if it doesn't impress you, at least check out the bimbo in the yellow miniskirt.
No relation to the 1975 Monstervision feature It's Alive! Or 1974's "It's Alive: The Bat People," or 1994's "It's Alive: The True Story Of Frankenstein" (A&E documentary hosted by Roger Moore)

MonsterVision’s Joe Bob Briggs reviews

Back To The Beach (1987)

(From Joe Bob's Ultimate B Movie Guide

Horrific beach party movie made 25 years after the original (yikes!) in which Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello spray-paint their hairdos, put on three million bucks of pancake makeup, and, most frightening of all, do the limbo. Frankie and Annette have been married for 25 years, with Frankie running the largest Ford dealership in Ohio and Annette mooning around the house all day eating peanut butter. They decide to go visit their little dimple-face beach-bunny daughter, who's hanging out on the exact same beach where Annette used to pout a lot and do the pony and try to manipulate Frankie into marrying her. Annette puts on a death-by-polka-dots swimsuit with double-projectile ribbed bodice, reggaes around, and resumes pouting.

The suspense mounts as they discover their daughter is living with a wimpola Southern California beach dumpling. Then the creature from the gold neck-chain store starts putting the moves on Annette. Then Connie Stevens runs up to Frankie and demonstrates goldfish-feeding on his face, so Annette gets p.o.ed. Then Frankie whips off his coat and goes shiny-pants Sansabelt on us so he can allegedly sing a song. Then Gilligan gets Frankie drunk. Then, with their marriage falling apart, Annette goes over the edge. She holds a pajama party, puts on a chartreuse teddy with fuzzies hanging off it, and DOES THE BUNNY HOP! One of the most frightening special effects ever seen on the screen, and after that, NOTHING can ever make you barf again, not even the cameo by O.J. Simpson.
Zero breasts. (Wha'd you expect?)
Ten dead bodies, all of them in starring roles.
Great fake surfer footage.
Mass barf-bag scene.
Overweight Dick Dale and two of the Del Tones.
Gratuitous Mousketeers.
Gratuitous "Wipe Out" drum solo.
Gratutious "Woolly Bully."
Bunny Hop Fu.
With Tommy Hinkley as the boyfriend in a pink skin-tight wetsuit ("Trust me, it's a little pick-me-up, Keith Richards lives on these"),
Jerry Mathers, Tony Dow, Don Adams, The Skipper,
Demian Slade as the obnoxious little 14-year-old kid who wears a chest tattoo called "Bloody Surf Demon on the Beach of Despair,"
Fishbone as the Jamaican mohawk sax player in a zoot suit.
Connie has the best line: "Honey, I'm an amusement park."
Produced by Frank Mancuso, Jr.
Two stars (two off for not bringing back Rickles). 2 stars
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs All Rights Reserved.

"Back To The Beach" is available on video and on DVD from

MonsterVision’s Joe Bob Briggs reviews

Beach Party (1963)

(From Joe Bob's Ultimate B Movie Guide

Robert Cummings is a professor studying the primitive habits of the American teenager, in the one that started the three-year genre of beach movies: clean-cut partying teens who thought the Beatles were too weird. These films were reactions to the wild-youth, beatnik and rock-and-roll movies of the late fifties and early sixties, so a kiss is the raciest thing found here. Still, the bland production numbers are full of wiggling bikini bottoms, and Walt Disney expressed his stern disapproval of Annette Funicello, a former "Mousketeer," revealing her belly button, so she’s the only one on the beach in a one-piece instead of a bikini. With Frankie Avalon, Dorothy Malone.  4 stars for the girls
© 2000 Joe Bob Briggs All Rights Reserved.
"Beach Party" is available on video from

For this and other movie reviews by the artist formerly known as the host of MonsterVision, go to Joe Bob

And then there was Psycho Beach Party ...

Related links: Robinson Crusoe On Mars

My Favorite Martian

MonsterVision host segments for Tim Burton’s Mars Attacks

Back to Monstervision

© Bill Laidlaw. All Rights Reserved. Plagerized stuff clearly indicated.