Monstervision Host Segments for

Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

I told the others, they didn't believe me. You're all doomed. You're all doomed

Host segments for Friday the 13th, Part 2 (continued from Friday the 13th host segments)
"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #1
"I don't know what YOU wanna talk about, but let's talk about Terry, the babe who gets popped on the butt with the slingshot. That actress's name is Kirsten Baker, and WHAT HAPPENED TO HER? And, more importantly, who has her phone number? These girls that just make one horror film and then you lose track of em--drives me NUTS. Anyhow, I thought that was a nice touch, having Betsy Palmer's head in the refrigerator right before Jason ends Adrienne King's horror flick career forever. But we have a new heroine--Ginny--played by Amy Steel, yet another one-shot wonder, and I'll just tell you right up front: great screamer. Next, the famous marshmallow roast scene, starring Paul the dork, played by John Furey. Roll it.

[fading] Harry Manfredini is famous for the music he did for these flicks. You know--that chh, chh, chh...mah, mah, mah. He was thinking about using voices in the first movie, and then it came to him that Mrs. Voorhees WAS a person who heard voices. There was a shot where it's a close-up of just her mouth going "Kill her, Mommy"--remember that? So he used the sounds from that line: the ki, ki, ki is actually a "k" for "kill," and the ma, ma, ma is for "mommy." It's him making that sound into the mike. People go up to Manfredini all over the world and go "Hi! Ki, ki, ki, ma, ma, ma!" When people come up to ME, they don't usually say anything. If it's a man, they just start swingin. If it's a woman . . . well, same thing."

"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #2

"I can't believe they killed off the geeky old man. The guy who always says "You're dooooomed. You're all dooooomed." Obviously, they weren't thinking about the next seven sequels when they made that decision. And do you realize how many scenes they have in these movies that just consist of putting the camera in a big pile of weeds and shooting some teenager through a window? Think about it. Put a little creepy Harry Manfredini music with it, and you go, "Oh, my God, she's not alone. There's a CAMERA out there."

Okay, what time is it? I need some more coffee--you guys wanna come?

Hey, Bobby, looks like you got a promotion since Jay took off, huh?

Nothing like a hot cuppa joe to get you through a night of nympho-slaughtering. Oh, heck, the coffee's empty! Where's Marian?

[Picks up half-eaten apple from floor] This is all very amusing, but somebody's gonna have to make more coffee. All right, go back to the movie. We haven't had the obligatory swimming-hole scene yet."

"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #3

"I can't believe they killed that dog. One of the main rules of horror films is that you can kill as many PEOPLE as you want to, but NEVER kill a pet. People get upset. Remember when Mad Max's dog gets killed in the original "Mad Max"? People HATED that. And now we have the rotting carcass of Muffin the dog, EVISCERATED by Jason for trespassing on Camp Crystal Lake. His cute little dog-jaws, sticking up in the air, in a grotesque Tom Savini special effect. . . I enjoyed that, actually. I should also point out that this is the first "Friday the 13th" flick where political correctness started creeping in. We've got Mark, in the wheelchair, the wheelchair camper who's still sexy. Please. El barfo. Save it, okay? All right, come on, let's see some cleaver. Roll it.

[sipping coffee--spits it out] BLECCCHHH! Who made this coffee? Will you guys find Marian and tell her to stop foolin around with Jay! I don't like the crew gettin lucky while I'm workin my hiney off. This tastes like it's leftover from last WEEK.
ERNIE (O.S.): It is.
It IS?? What, all the Folder's is missing, too?
ERNIE (O.S.): Yep.
Well, can we send a P.A. out for some more? Jee zus."

"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #4

"Oh, scuse me. All right, we obviously have sex-in-progress here. On the crew AND in the movie. Vicki plants the big wet one on Mark, so we have to ask the question--will Jason attack a man in a wheelchair? I'm sure we'll find out. You know, that scene in the local bar/casino where Ginny and Paul talk about Jason--this is about the closest these movies ever came to explaining exactly what Jason is doing, and why he's doing it. We know he witnessed the beheading of his mother by the gal in the first movie. We know he's been wanderin around through the woods for five years. And we know from this scene we just watched that he's a "child trapped in a man's body" and he's "crying for a return, a resurrection." Very heavy. Crying for return and for resurrection. So the next time somebody tells you he's just a psycho in a hockey mask, remind them of this. Crying for resurrection. Okay, let's continue.

[fading] Any of you guys know what the heck that means? "Crying for resurrection..." I didn't think so."

"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #5

"Okay, Jason is gettin busy now. That cleaver through the head on the wheelchair guy--outstanding! Once again I commend the TNT censors for leaving that in the movie. And I should point out that we only show close-up cleavers through the head when it's necessary to the plot. You'll notice that we did NOT show the complete teenage-shishkebob scene, in which two nookie monsters are speared In Flagrante Aardvarkus. That would have been gratuitous. Okay, before we go back for a little pitchfork action, it's time to read a little mail from the captive members of our audience in what we call "Joe Bob's Jail Break." And to help us out is the outstanding TNT Mail Girl, Rusty. [she doesn't come out] To help us out--the TNT Mail Girl who's missed her cue, Rusty. [still doesn't come out] Where's Rusty?

Okay, so Jay and Marian are missing, and now Rusty's missing. Where's the P.A. we sent out for coffee?
ERNIE (O.S.): He never came back.
The P.A.'s missing. Good. We only have FOUR more movies to run tonight. So, we're fine. Okay, we'll keep going."

"Friday the 13th Part 2" Commercial Break #6

"The old chainsaw-versus-pitchfork fight scene. Outstanding. I also enjoyed the rat-in-the-face sequence. As I said before, Amy Steel is one of the better "Friday the 13th" heroines. She never got the attention that Jamie Lee Curtis got, but that's what happens when you star in Part TWO. You know what else is different about this movie? They filmed it in Connecticut, whereas the first one was filmed in New Jersey. I don't know about you, but I think "Friday the 13th" is a New Jersey kinda show. I think they oughta stick with their roots. Jason is a Jersey guy, you know what I mean? All right, time to paint the walls red in the stunning conclusion to "Friday the 13th, Part Duo."

[fading] We're still in the burlap bag phase of Jason's evolution. This was the era when "The Elephant Man" look was very big. 1980, 81. Burlap sacks were goin like hotcakes."

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Host segment transcript for 10/31/98 broadcast 1998 Turner Network Television. A Time Warner Company. All Rights Reserved