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OK freaks and satanic worshipers, whatever, all the following belong to and were written by Anton Szandor LeVay and are copyrighted by the Church of Satan. I had to put that for legal shit. Ok enjoy.

The Nine Satanic Sins
For years, people have asked Church of Satan representatives, "Well, okay -- your philosophy is based on indulgence of human instincts but do have any sins like other religions?" Our answer has always been "No." But the time has come to amend that response. We have grown steadily over the past 21 years and find that it is appropriate to have some clearer guidelines on, not only what we strive for, but also what we work to avoid -- what we disapprove of. The difference is where other religions develop sins that people can't avoid, we consider a number of things "sinful" that people could avoid if they worked a little. 1) Stupidity--The top of the list for Satanic Sins. The Cardinal Sin of Satanism. It's too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. Satanists must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid. 2) Preteniousness--Empty posturing can be most irritating and isn't applying the cardinal rules of Lesser Magic. On equal footing with stupidity for what keeps the money in circulation these days. Everyone's made to feel like a big shot, whether they can come up with the goods or not. 3) Solipsism--can be very dangerous for Satanists. Projecting your reactions, responses, and sensibilities onto someone else who is probably far less attuned that you are. It is the mistake of expecting people to give you the same consideration, courtesy, and respect that you naturally give them. They won't. Instead Satanists must strive to apply the dictum of "Do unto others as they do onto you." It's work for most of us and requires constant vigilance lest you slip into a comfortable illusion of everyone being like you. As has been said, certain utopias would be ideal in a nation of philosophers, but unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, from a Machiavellian viewpoint) we are from that point. 4) Self-Deciet--It's in the Nine Satanic Statement but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered is when it is fun, and with awareness. But then, it's not self-deciet! 5) Herd Conformity--That's obvious from a Satanic stance. It's all right to conform to a person's wishes, if it ultimately benefits you. But only fools follow along with the herd, letting an impersonal entity dictate to you. The key is to choose a master wisely instead of being enslaved by the whims of many. 6) Lack of Perspective--Again, this one can lead to alot of pain for a Satanist. You must never lose sight of who and what you are, and what a threat you can be, by your very existence. We are making history right now, everyday. Always keep the wider historical and social picture in mind. That is an important key to both Lesser and Greater Magic. See the patterns and fit the things together as you want the pieces to fall into place. So not be swayed herd constraints--know that you are working on another level entirely from the rest of the world. 7) Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies--Be aware that this one of the keys to brainwashing people into accepting something as "new" and "different", when in reality it's something that was once widely accepted but is now presented in a new package. We are expected to rave about the genius of the "creator" and forget the original. This makes for a disposable society. 8) Conterproductive Pride--The first word is important. Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you've painted yourself into a corner and the only way out is to say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake, I wish we could compromise somehow," then do it 9) Lack of Aesthetics--This is the physical application of the Balance Factor. It is important in Lesser Magic and should be cultivated. It is obvious that no one can collect any money off it most of the tome so it si discouraged in a consumer society, but is an essential Satanic tool and must be applied for magical effectiveness. It's not what's supposed to be pleasing--it's what is. Aesthetics is a highly personal thing, reflective of one's own nature, but there are universally pleasing and harmonious configurations that should not be denied.
Satanic Statements
The Nine Satanic Statements as written in the Satanic Bible by Anton LaVey 1) Satan represents indulgence, instead of abstinence! 2) Satan represents vital existence, instead of spiritual pipe dreams! 3) Satan represents undefiled wisdom, instead of hypocritical self-deceit! 4) Satan represents kindness th those who deserve it, instead of love wasted on ingrates! 5) Satan represents vengeance, instead of turning the other cheek! 6) Satan represents responsibility to the responsible, instead of concern for psychic vampires! 7) Satan represents man as just another animal,sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development," has become the most vicious animal of all! 8) Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification! 9) Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!
Pentagonal Revisionism: A Five Point Program
In recent years, we've wasted far too much time explaining that Satanism has nothing to do with kidnapping, drug abuse, child molestation, animal or child sacrifice, or any number of other acts that idiots, hysterics or opportunists would like to credit us with. Satanism is life-loving, rational philosophy that millions of people adhere to. Now we're ready for something that goes quite a few steps beyond just explaining our principles. Every revisionist movement needs a set of goals -- guidelines that are clear, concrete, and that will effect significant changes. The following Five-Point Program reflects attitudes which allow others to decide whether they wish to align themselves with Satanism or not. Each is necessary for Satanic change to take place. When asked what we're "doing", here's the answer: 1) Stratification--The point on which all the others ultimately rest. There can be no more myth of "equality" for all--it only translates to "mediocrity" and supports the weak at the expense to the strong. Water must be allowed to seek its own level without interference from apologists for incompetence. No one should be protected from the effects of his own stupidity. 2) Strict taxation of all churches--If churches were taxed for all their income and property, they'd crumble overnight of their own obsolescence, and the National Debt would be wiped out as quickly. The productive, the creative, the resourceful should be subsidized. So long as the useless and incompetent are getting paid, they should be heavily taxed. 3) No tolerance for religious beliefs secularized and incorporated into law and order issues--to re-establish "Lex Talionis" would require a complete overturning of the present in-justice system based on Judeo-Christian ideals, where the victim/defender has been made the criminal. Amnesty should be considered for anyone in prison because of his alleged "influence" upon the actual perpetrator of the crime. Everyone is influenced in what he or she does. Scapegoating has become a way of life, a means of survival for the unfit. As an extension of the Judeo-Christian cop-out of blaming the Devil for everything, criminals can gain leniency, even praise, by placing the blame on a convenient villain. Following the Satanic creed of "Responsibility to the responsible," in a Satanic society, everyone must experience the consequences of his own acitons--for good or ill. 4) Development and production of artificial human companions--The forbidden industry. An economic "godsend" which will allow everyone "power" over someone else. Polite, sophisticated, technologically feasible slavery. And the most profitable industry since T.V. and the computer. 5) The opportunity for anyone to live within a total environment of his or her choice, with mandatory adherence to the aesthetic and behavioral standards of the same--Privatly owned and controlled environments as an alternative to homogenized and polyglot ones. The freedom to insularize oneself within a social milieu of personal well-being. An opportunity to feel, see, and hear that which is most aesthetically pleasing, without interference from those who would pollute or detract from that option. This is the encapsulated version of the current thrust of Satanic advocacy. So when someone asks you, "Well, what do Satanists do?", you will be qualified to tell them.
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
1)Do not give opinion or advice unless you are asked. 2)Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them. 3)When in another's lair,show him respect or else do not go there. 4)If a guest in your lair annoys you,treat him cruelly and without mercy. 5)Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal. 6)Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved. 7)Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success,you will loose all you have obtained. 8)Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself. 9)Do not harm little children. 10)Do not kill non-human animals unless attacked or for your food. 11)When walking in open territory,bother no one. If someone bothers you,ask him to stop. If he does not stop,destroy him.