Small town Jokes
Coming from a town with the population of 304 I get enough crap the way it is. But also living in Minnesota people really start getting ya for that too. Here are some jokes I've collected about 'the situation' ~~ Be aware if all apply to YOU!! :)
You might be from a small town if...
1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
2. You get a whiff of manure and think of home.
3. You know what 4-H is.
4. You ever went to "headlight parties".
5. You used to drag "main".
6. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour.
7. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones will bust you and which ones won't.
8. You ever went cow tipping.
9. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the 'buyer' for all of the best parties.
10. You have parties at the same guy's house.
11. Almost everyone in your school also has a cousin in your school.
12. School gets canceled for state sporting events.
13. The town's social events are their children's.
14. You could never buy cigarettes because the entire store clerks new how old you were (and if you were old enough they'd tell your parents anyway).
15. When you did find someone old enough and brave enough to buy smokes, you still had to go out to the county and drive on back roads to smoke them.
16. You were ever in the Homecoming parade.
17. No place sells gas on Sunday.
18. Friday night fun consisted of standing in line for the one Screen Theater to see a movie that came out six months ago.
19. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
20. You had senior skip day.
21. You could recite the school colors and mascot of all schools in your conference.
22. Whenever you decided to walk to school for exercise, twenty cars pulled over and offered you a lift.
23. You could set your book bag out in the hall at lunchtime and it would still be there when you came out of the cafeteria.
24. There were three generations of your family in the same bleacher row at every home game.
25. You know all the old veterans carrying the flags in the 4th of July parade.
26. You know everybody in the 4th of July parade.
27. Your only newspaper was a weekly.
28. The mini-mall you now shop at has more stores than your entire hometown.
29. Loitering isn't a bad thing; it's the only thing.
30. You refer to THE stoplight.
31. You don't give directions by street names or house numbers, but by references ("Turn right by Harold's Hardware, go two blocks past Andersonís, and it's the fourth house on the left past the football field.)
32. YOU CALL LUNCH-DINNER AND DINNER-SUPPER!!!!!!!!!!!
You Know Youíre in a Small Town WhenÖ
You donít use your blinkers because everyone knows where you are going.
Third Street is on the edge of town.
You dial the wrong number, but talk for 15 minutes anyways.
The biggest business in town sells farm machinery.
You miss a Sunday of church and receive get-well cards.
You write a check on the wrong bank and it covers it for you.
The polka is the most popular dance on Saturday night.
You canít walk for exercise, because every car that passes you offers you a ride.
The pickups on mainstreet outnumber the cars 3 to 1.
You drive into the ditch 5 miles out of town and word gets back to town before you do.
Someone asks how you feel, and then really listens to what you say.
You Might Be A Minnesotan if...
- You measure distance in minutes.
- Weather is 80% of your conversation.
- Down south to you means Iowa.
- You call highways "freeways".
- Snow tires came standard on your car.
- You have no concept of public transportation
- 75% of your graduating high school class went to the Univ. of Minnesota.
- You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer.
- People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them.
- You know what and where "Dinkytown" is.
- Perkins" was a popular hangout option in high school.
- You have no problem saying or spelling "Minneapolis."
- You can list all the "Dales."
- You hate "Fargo" but realize that a lot of your family has that accent.
- You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota.
- Your school classes have been canceled because of snow or cold.
- You know what Mille Lacs is and how to spell it.
- You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where you are referring.
- You know what the numbers 6-94, 4-94, I-94, 3-94 mean.
- You have tried boiled fish in lye at Christmas.
- You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas.
- Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car.
- You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly.
- You can spot the three-second-cameo appearance by "The Artist formerly known as Prince" in "Fargo".
- You're a loyal Target shopper.
- You've licked frozen metal.
- The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks or to fish.
- You own an icehouse, a snowmobile, and a 4-wheel drive vehicle.
- You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60.
- You know people that have more fishing poles than teeth.
- You remember WLOL.
- It feels like the Mississippi is everywhere you go.
- When you talk about "opener" you are not talking about cans.
- You have gone Trick-or-Treating in 3 feet of snow.
- You know that when it comes to AM, there is only WCCO, besides, what else do you need?
Sign my Guestbook!