What we never have enough of...or...seem to have too much
too much when you're wedged between
a teenager saturated in aftershave and a woman who's got stock in Channel No. 5
not enough when you're holding the hand of a dear friend dying of cancer.
Why don't I use it better?
plan it wiser?
give it away more?
Why do I run so fast through it...
only stopping momentarily to kick myself on my waste of it?
I want to learn to cherish time, to cuddle it close to me so I can feel, to my core, its character...
get to know it, understand it, make love to it, trust it, so I'll be able to teat it better...
so we'll see more eye to eye...be more at home with each other.
Instead, I keep coming back to my thoughts - those same questions -
can I ever "get to know" time? trust it? be its friend?
What is time, that it is so tied to my core, my heart, my spirituality, my journey?
What are the answers? Are there answers?
so, I move back into life - running again through time -
wedged between folks and wishing instead I were sitting on a lake in a canoe
catching my breath on a mountain ledge watching the sunset...
sitting with a dying friend and wishing time would stop. forever.
Sometimes I feel so lost God-
I thought I had us figured out-
now you've changed
and I'm lost-
or, could it be,
and together we
need to be found?