Thunderdome hit screens in 1985, a mere three years after the previous (and second in series) film The Road Warrior. Real time notwithstanding, Thunderdome's story occurs 15 years later (according to creator George Miller). Roaming the post-apocalyptic desert wasteland, as we all yearn to do, Mr. Max finds himself at Bartertown, an enclosed community devoted to Bart Simpson, no, wait, devoted to bartering goods and services. Max gets involved in nasty power struggles within Bartertown, including a stint in the gladiatorial arena Thunderdome, a sort of post-modernist professional wrestling. During his off time, Max becomes kind of a surrogate daddy to a tribe of self-sufficient children outside Bartertown. Fighting and explosions ensue.
Director and writer George Miller split the duties on this film, letting George Ogilvie direct the story-involved scenes while reserving action sequences for himself. Mel Gibson is back as the loner Max. Hard as it is to believe now, when Mad Max first appeared in the U.S., Mel Gibson's voice was dubbed because the distributors thought his Australian accent was too thick for American ears! (The original dialogue version still has never been available in the U.S.)
Thunderdome also marked the only substantial acting role yet for Tina Turner as she tackles the role of Aunty Entity, the leader of Bartertown. Turner previously had small roles in Tommy and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band but she really gets to control the screen here. Miller said that when they were writing the script, "We kept saying that Entity had to be someone like Tina Turner, but not specifically Tina Turner. When it finally came to casting, some months later, we said, 'Why not Tina Turner?'" So they called her agent only to discover that Turner had expressed a desire to appear in some kind of action film like Mad Max. Fate, we think it's called. (One cast member, at least, had experience with rock stars: Frank Thring. He'd appeared with Mick Jagger in Ned Kelley, though he's probably best-known as Pontius Pilate in the 1959 Ben-Hur.) Turner made such an impression in Thunderdome that Steven Spielberg offered her a role in his adaptation of "The Color Purple" which she turned down, saying she'd already lived that. Turner contributed a couple of songs to the Thunderdome soundtrack, including the hit We Don't Need Another Hero.
The filmmakers ran into an even stranger problem than casting. For part of the set called Underworld they needed 600 pigs. Because buying that many could damage the local pork market, they ended up renting the pigs. That's when a politician declared that this was an environmental threat, requiring the filmmakers to go to court to prove that a lot of pigs were basically just a lot of pigs. Environments and pork markets breathed easier (though perhaps not the crew on the set).
Any way you slice this salami, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome should enliven your evening. It's got thrills, chills, fightin', chasin', kids, weird cars, rock stars, Mel Gibson and cloven-hoofed animals.
Now here's the drive-in king hisself with those drive-in totals. Read on for Joe Bob's ramblings as committed to print, and learn all about sissy cowboys and Max's car. Take it away, Joe Bob.
"THUNDERDOME" Intro
Joe Bob Briggs, and tonight we're goin' back into the apocalyptic Australian outback with Mel Gibson for "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." The Mad Max flicks kinda took the place of the old westerns. That's because the modern cowboy has been ruined for all time. But get a rope, I found the guy who did it.
George Balanchine.
I never knew it was him. Then, a couple weeks ago, I was at the New York City Ballet, and they were doing this old Balanchine standard from 1954 called "Western Symphony." And out they came: guys in felt cowboy hats and chartreuse bandanas, walkin on their heels with their thumbs hooked on their belts. I'm from Texas. I've seen cowboys. None of em walk on their heels, flippin their butts out with the hats stuck as far back on their heads as possible, while sporting rhinestone vests, pastel scarves and pink bib shirts. At least none of em did before Garth Brooks, but that's a whole DIFFERENT story. But for YEARS I've watched these weenie cowboys. They're everywhere. They're in movies. They're on the stage. They're in every theme park western show ever invented. Guys in chaps and boots dancin like SISSIES.
I've blamed a lot of different people over the years. First I thought it was Tommy Tune, who had all those dancin football players from Texas A&M in "Best Little Whorehouse in Texas." Remember those guys? The ones who cavort around the locker room, leaping off benches with their knees tucked together JUST SO? The ones with the baby blue boots? Tommy liked this idea so much that he used it again in "Will Rogers Follies." Only this time he had the cowboys wear chaps that HAD THE BUTT CUT OUT. He had cowboys flashin their nekkid hineys at the audience. Please. Tommy. How long since you been in Texas? Shoot, Tommy's FROM Texas. I mean, I realize they were OKLAHOMA cowboys,
but still . . .
Then I saw that movie "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," the weird one from MGM, in wide-screen Technicolor, where these yokels go out to Oregon and decide to kidnap all the women in town and take em home as their wives. The number everybody remembers has the wranglers dressed up in color-coordinated cowboy outfits, leaping off barrels and picnic tables, turning somersaults while their mauve bolo ties flutter in the breeze. So I saw this and thought, "Aha! Tommy Tune saw this movie! It wasn't the Houston boy after all, it was goldurned MGM!"
Then I saw the George Balanchine ballet.
The RUSSIANS did it to us. The RUSSIANS, in the middle of the Cold War, infiltrated our culture with Sissified Dancin' Weenie Leotard-Wearin' Cowboys. Listen up, choreographers far and wide. This stuff NEVER works. You know what DOES work? Mel Gibson swimmin around in pig doo-doo, fightin a Championship Rasslin reject with a midget on his back, in "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." Let's go. Roll it.
[fading] Stop hookin your thumbs in your belt loops. Lose the French cuffs on the bib shirts. Get rid of the little under-the-chin string on the hat. Please. Have a little mercy.
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #1
Tina Turner as the mean dragon-lady queen of the world. Tina looks so evil in this movie you think she's about to go into a property-settlement meeting with Ike. I'm not real clear on the bargain she's made with Mad Max -- I think he either fights the wrassler in the iron mask or she sings "Rollin on the River" again. Tina was really hot when this movie came out -- she was coming off a HUGE Grammy-winning album, and everywhere you looked you saw Tina Turner and those fishnet stockings. This movie was supposed to launch her big acting career, but the only thing she did after "Mad Max" where she wasn't playing herself was the The Last Action Hero in '93. Then nothing, except those VH-1 Diva shows. Remember last year when she got in that fight with Elton John during rehearsals? Elton wouldn't be out-Diva'ed. She also sings the movie themesong, We Don't Need Another Hero. Anyhow, I didn't get to the drive-in totals before, so let's do that.
We have:
Fourteen dead bodies.
Forty-five beasts, auditioning for Empty-V.
Two gallons blood, which the TNT "We're No Fun" Department has reduced to about half a cup.
Gratuitous malfunctioning chainsaw.
Gratuitous game-show host.
Midget dipping.
Pig stampede.
Quicksand Fu.
Three motor vehicle chases.
Four stars. Let's do the ads and get back to the flick.
[fading] Did you know Steven Spielberg offered Tina the Whoopi Goldberg part in "The Color Purple" THREE TIMES, and she turned it down? How nuts do you have to be to turn down a Spielberg movie? Course, I like people who are nuts. What is she, like, 70? The world's only 70-year-old FOX.
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #2
The great Thunderdome scene, in which Mel Gibson and a steroid monkey go into the giant birdcage and put on clown suspenders and try to pole each other in the privates and ram lances through each other's throats to show who's more macho. Followed by the Johnny Cochran version of "Wheel of Fortune": If you bust a deal, you must face the wheel. The prize is being condemned to put on a Mickey Mouse head and sit backwards on a horse. Would someone please remind me why he agreed to fight the giant gladiator to the death when the guy who stole his camels was right there, and Max had, oh, about 46 weapons on him? Just wondering. Anyhow, I always love torturous desert scenes, so roll the commercials and let's get back to it.
[fading] It's a source of endless debate among "Mad Max" aficionados why they cast Bruce Spence as the thief in this movie, when he played a pretty big role in "The Road Warrior." Nobody really knows if he's a different character, or the SAME character, and if he IS the same guy, why Mel Gibson acts like he doesn't KNOW him . . . You know what else they argue about? Max's car. "Dude, it's not a Camaro, it's a Mustang."
"That guy doesn't know what he's talkin about--it's not a Mustang, it's a Firebird with an after-market bumper welded on there." Ten bucks says the Mail Girl's got another letter from one of these guys when she gets here. Make it twenty. I speak, of course, of Australian dollars.
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #3
The late Angelo Rossitto is the midget in the swine pit. Listen to this list of credits: "The House of Horror," a silent flick from 1929. The classic "Freaks," made in 1932. "The Corpse Vanishes," starring Bela Lugosi, and made by the legendary Sam Katzman. "Dracula vs. Frankenstein" from 71. "Brain of Blood." Bit parts in almost 200 movies and a recurring role on "Baretta," and this guy NEVER made a living from his acting. He had a newsstand in Hollywood--that was the only way he was able to survive between gigs. How does that happen? Anyway, there I go, bringin everybody down, RUININ' the movie. Go, watch some happy commercials, and we'll continue.
[fading] Okay, we're in the desert. Is it just me, or does anybody else think that the desert is always boring. Never go into the desert. "Lawrence of Arabia"--he went into the desert. That was interesting. David Lean can go into the desert. Everybody else--out of the desert. There's no NEW WAY to photograph the desert.
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #4
I can't understand half of what she's sayin, but I really like that story the girl tells. "Pocky-clips" and "highscrapers." That scene was probly directed by George Ogilvie, one of the TWO directors who worked on this flick. George Miller did the action scenes, and George Ogilvie worked on the kinder, gentler scenes. Miller directed the first two "Mad Max" movies. The first one, "Mad Max," came out in 1979 and was huge box-office hit everywhere except America and Canada, 'cause when they released it here they did a bad job and practically nobody saw it. That's why the second movie was called "Mad Max 2" everywhere but here -- here they called it The Road Warrior, cause they figured it was a car-lover's movie, right? It's kinda the ultimate demolition derby. But by the time the third one came out, people knew who Mad Max was, so they called it "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome." Except for everywhere else, where it was called "Rocky 5." No, it was called "Mad Max 3" everywhere else. All right, do the ads.
[fading] You know what George Miller's last movie was? Babe: Pig in the City. It's just a little surprising to me. He actually DIRECTED "Babe 2." Produced and co-wrote "Babe 1," you guys know that? The man's got a major pig theme going on in his life. Three movies now where he's put more pigs on the screen than David Lean hired extras for "Lawrence of Arabia." See, I've decided to mention David Lean at every break tonight. Because film school students watch the show, and they go, "Yes. Uh-huh. David Lean."
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #5
The obligatory QUICKSAND scene. Or would that be a SUCKHOLE scene? Either way, it's more endless desert footage with yappin Aussies. So let's take a minute and read some mail from our favorite viewers in what we call "Joe Bob's Advice to the Hopeless," and to help us with that, [enters] here she is, Rusty, the TNT Mail Girl.
RUSTY: I've been waiting since before the movie to ask you, what were YOU doing at the ballet a few weeks ago?
J.B.: Hon, I'm very well-rounded. I'm like one of those Renaissance men.
RUSTY: Is that what you told her?
J.B.: A guy'll do anything at the start of a new relationship.
RUSTY: And did you get what you were after?
J.B.: You make me sound like a . . . well, shame on you, Rusty.
RUSTY: Hey, I didn't say it.
J.B.: You got a letter for me?
RUSTY: I have an e-mail, from Paul Reid.
J.B.: "Joe Bob you ignorant hick. Mad Max's car is a Holden. In both Mad Max and Road Warrior."
What did I tell you guys? Every time we show one of these dang movies.
"Holden is an Australian car company. It has ties to General Motors USA. However, Australian law or taxes mean that Holden is Australian-controlled and fairly independent of GM-USA. Holden makes cars for the Australian market. Because of their ties with GM, and the fact that the Australian market is not too unlike the US market, most Holdens are recognizably designs that were discontinued by GM-USA. But Holden has also sold cars based on Ford designs, and probably sells Toyota-clones nowadays too.
"Specifically, Max's Holden is probably an early-1970s Chevy Nova. Holden bought the stampers to make the parts after GM went to newer designs. Either GM did not sell the fender-stamper, or Holden decided to put their own mark on the car, because the fenders are non-Nova. But true car fans can see through such minor styling details.
"Not a Mustang. Not a Camaro. The Camaro started on the Nova chassis, but by the mid-1970s had diverged and Max's car is clearly on the larger frame. It is hard to get a fat girlfriend in the back of a Camaro, and if you recall the scene with the pilot and the dog and the shotgun in the back of Max's car, there is plenty of room.
And it's signed, "Paul (Roz's car-head)."
Pretty convincing argument. If anyone else wants to write in and tell him he's wrong, though, feel free. Do it care of TNT, 1010 Techwood Drive, Atlanta, Georgia, 30318. Or e-mail me at joebob@turner.com.
RUSTY: Or they can e-mail through the "MonsterVision" website, at tnt.turner.com/joebob.
J.B.: So how far would you go to get a guy to take YOU to the ballet?
RUSTY: I don't really like the ballet. [to camera] But there are a couple of restaurants I'd REALLY like to go to. [winks, exits]
J.B.: Rusty, you are a bad girl! You wanna go to Spago with me?! Or the Palm? Is it the Palm? I got a connection at the Denny's on Sunset!
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #6
Nothing like a good PIG STAMPEDE to pump up that plot. Does anyone have ANY idea what just happened in that last part of the movie? Why is there total CHAOS because a couple a kids slid down a chute into the pig doo-doo? And where the heck did they get a working train? "We will rebuild." Rebuild what? The pig-slop factory? And you know what? I thought all this time they would go BACK to the Thunderdome and climb back into the giant bungee cords. Mel Gibson against Tina Turner, in the Dome, right? Or at LEAST Mel Gibson against the tattooed saxophone-playing fat man. But they're not going back to the Dome, are they? Just the one fight in the Dome, cause now they're takin Amtrak. Okay, back in a minute.
[fading] What about track maintenance? Wouldn't that be a problem after the holocaust?
"THUNDERDOME" Commercial Break #7
FINALLY, we get a few motor vehicles in the desert. If it's a "Mad Max" movie and you're IN the goldurn desert, let's have some dune buggies, okay? Not skinny lesbians in rabbit-skin pajamas talking about the sky. All right? But still, this chase scene doesn't even come CLOSE to "The Road Warrior." Except for Mad Max in the zebra-skin Camaro, or whatever the goldurn car is. And the dangling skinhead who gets impaled on the grille of the locomotive. I do like those parts. Anyhow, we're not quite done yet, so let's run the truly strange conclusion of "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome," after the ads.
[fading] By the way, how did the midget go from a baby-talking bad guy with a Napolean complex to a good guy in a tweed suit? See, this is what happens when you use two directors. One goes, "Hey, let's make him a sadistic tyrant who talks like Rocky Balboa," and the other one goes, "Let's make him a cute little English professor," and we're watchin two different movies. "Gone with the Wind" had two directors. But they had the sense to edit out all the parts with the midget, so the audience wouldn't be confused. Little known fact.
"THUNDERDOME" Outro
Why does Tina Turner let Mad Max live? Whatever happened to "No mercy"? The ending is a ripoff of The Road Warrior. Max leads his pilgrims to safety and remains in the wilds, the warrior used and discarded by the forces of progress. And we get to see that crazy Austrileyan girl "do the tell" again in a bombed out highscraper.
Okay, next week we're not here, cause TNT couldn't find a movie that was good enough for my show. You think I'm kidding.
That's it for me, Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you that there are three types of people in the world: Those who can count, and those who can't.
You guys hear the one about the concerned husband who goes to a doctor to talk about his wife? He says, "Doc, I think my wife is deaf, cause she never hears me the first time, and always asks me to repeat things." Doc says, "Well, go home tonight and stand about fifteen feet from her and say something. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness." The husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about fifteen feet from his wife, who's in the kitchen chopping vegetables, and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" No response from the wife. He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply. He moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Wife says, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
Joe Bob Briggs, reminding you that the drive-in will never die.
[fading] What's the definition of Australian aristocracy? A man who can trace his lineage back to his father.
"Mad Max, Beyond Thunderdome" is available on video and on DVD from Amazon.com
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome (1985), Rating: TV-14-V. Last seen on Monstervision 5-00
2007 Showings: Mad Max (1979) Mon Dec 25 12:45A on Encore Sun Jan 28 12:00A on Speed Channel Mon July 2 11:30pm/2:30am EST on Turner Classic Movies Sat Jul 14 8pm/11pm EST on WOR New York The Road Warrior: Mad Max 2 (1981) Sun Mar 25 01:40A on Cinemax Mad Max 3: Beyond Thunderdome (1985) Sat Dec 23 06:20P on Action Mon Apr 30 08:05P on HD Movies Mad Max 4 (2008) (not currently scheduled) Braveheart (1995, starring & dir. by Mel Gibson) Fri June 1 04:00P on American Movie Classics Sat July 7 08:00P & 12:00A on History Channel Sun Jul 22 03:30P on Arts & Entertainment Conspiracy Theory (1997, sometime the government is out to get you) Wed May 16 01:10P on Cinemax Sun July 8 01:30A on HBO Fri Jul 20 03:45A on HBO Mon Jul 23 02:45P & 11pm on HBO Signature Sat Jul 28 11:45A on HBO Signature Wed Aug 1 01:05P on HBO Zone Fri Aug 3 02:00P on HBO Plus Thu Aug 9 08:05A on HBO Zone Forever Young (1992, A '30s test pilot wakes up from a deep freeze in the '90s) Thu Jul 12 11:45A on More Max Gallipoli (1981, two Aussie soldiers during the disastrous WWI battle) Mon Jul 23 05:30A on More Max Lethal Weapon (suicidal cop and partner investigate a woman's plunge from a high-rise) Thu May 17 08:00P on MyNetwork (formerly UPN) Sat July 7 12:30A on HBO Sat Jul 21 03:15P on HBO Zone Fri Jul 27 06:00A on HBO Zone Mon Jul 30 02:45A on HBO Tue Aug 7 04:00P on HBO Plus Lethal Weapon 2 (Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci) Fri Jul 20 07:00P on More Max Mon Jul 23 09:05A on More Max Fri Aug 3 12:30P on HBO Zone Sat Aug 11 12:30A on HBO Lethal Weapon 4 (1998, same 3 stars) Thu May 17 5pm/8pm EST on WOR New York The Man Without a Face (1993, disfigured outcast bonds with a neglected 12-year-old) Wed Jul 11 01:00P on Cinemax Maverick (1994, Mel Gibson, Jodie Foster, James Garner) Tue May 15 09:45A, 6:45P & 5:15A on Showtime Sat Aug 4 01:30A on TNT Million Dollar Hotel (2000, Fed investigates death at a flophouse of eccentrics) Wed Jun 20 5:15/8:15A EST on Independent Film Channel Sun Jun 24 8:15pm/12:15am EST on Independent Film Channel Passion of the Christ (2004, dir. by Mel Gibson) Sun Apr 8 09:00P on Showtime #2 Sat Apr 28 11:45P on Showtime Showcase Tue July 3 03:15A on The Movie Channel The Passion: Religion and the Movies (Mel Gibson; Martin Scorsese; Terry Gilliam; Willem Dafoe) Jan 2, 2007 10:00A & 4pm on History Channel Sun Apr 8 09:00A on History Channel The Patriot (2000, pacifist joins the 1776 Revolution after family attacked) Wed July 4 10pm/1am EST on Turner Classic Movies Fri Aug 3 08:00P on TNT Sun Aug 5 02:00P on TNT Signs (2002, disappointing scifi based on crop circles) Sat Jul 21 10:30P & 5:45A on TBS We Were Soldiers (2002, soldiers in Vietnam War) Fri Aug 3 11:00P on TNT What Women Want (self-centered man can now read women's minds but can't turn it off) Sun May 6 06:30P & 11:00P on TNT Fabulous Life Of...Jennifer Lopez, Usher, Mel Gibson & others (30 min) Thu Aug 9 02:30P, 3pm, 4pm & 5pm on VH-1 True Hollywood Story: Mel Gibson (2004, 60 min) Life and career are chronicled with Roger Ebert, Richard Roeper and Michael Medved Thu May 3 09:00A on E!